r/Salsa • u/trytosayit • 2d ago

Married couple and latin dance struggles..

/r/AskReddit/comments/1mzuyil/wife_have_been_dancing_latin_dances_she_did_push/naly35n/
3 Upvotes

59% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

51

u/dondegroovily 2d ago

I've been partner dancing for a long time and I've never seen kissing on the neck be part of a dance, even among romantic couples. This guy's wife is seriously effed up

3

u/ChristopherEmmerson 1d ago

His post also focuses on dresses. Yeah alot of bachata women tend to dress quite more freely to say the least. Sometimes the reason or excuse is that those dresses are super comfortable wouldn't you want to dress less or tighter during summers? Bachata is the only social dance I've been to where there will always be a consistency of women wearing skin tight activewear or built-in bustiers, corsets, or exposed bras. This style can involve dresses designed with explicit lingerie-like detailing which is super sexy. If it's comfortable for them and helps them breathe because summer sucks more power to them. Sexy is always a topic in bachata and you'll likely find the same bachata type to be taking heels or eventually pole dances. I'm not saying all of these are bad things by the way, but for me I think if you want to build confidence, doing something hard like salsa shows that you're in it for the dance and the art and not just looking good or feeling confident because you are sexy.

Social dancing during summer in closed rooms will always feel like the sauna btw.

25

u/HorseQuirky7471 2d ago

Ya'll need couple's counselling because even though this occurs during dancing - this isn't about dancing, its about behavior and boundaries

16

u/Living_Silver_1742 2d ago

I never saw kisses occur during a social 

10

u/HorseQuirky7471 2d ago

Only among people who are obviously together, not random like described above

10

u/Warbyothermeanz 1d ago

lol the part where the guy is kissing on her neck in Bachata? Lmao huh?????

16

u/BeerPoweredNonsense 2d ago edited 2d ago

I'm going to call it: OP's style reads like the guy who posted recently on r/bachata "I'm a bachata teacher and I fuck my students, is this ok?".
That person started a discussion on same subject 2 weeks in a row.

Now there's a brand-new Reddit account "my wife is doing latin dances and gets hot and sexy with other men". I'll say it again: the Reddit account is brand new.

Join the dots.

EDIT: just to add; he claims that he danced Kizomba for 2 years. Now Kiz can get hot and sensual... but neck kisses for a "dance" partner? I can't imagine that. Maybe it's different in some parts of the world, but here in France, after 2 years dancing you would be well aware that neck kisses are no-no-no.

5

u/catladyno999 1d ago

After reading his replies and seeing your comment.. this post does seem pretty fishy. It’s likely shitty bait

5

u/HorseQuirky7471 1d ago

now that it's pointed out, that is pretty similar. Still better than the low self esteem dude or the guy promoting his studio with shitty ai prompts, though not by much

1

u/trytosayit 1d ago

This is my situation. I reached out for advice, not trying to promote anything. So please, let's just help each other, i am not asking for anything other than opinions.. Cheers guys.

1

u/korkof 1d ago

Still in France but event with more than 10 years in the latin dance community, in salsa, bachata and kizomba, never seen a kiss apart from couples, with the exception of a fake kiss on the hand in a gentleman mouvement aka "principe bueno".

2

u/Prestigious_Wash_620 1d ago

There's also beso where you kiss your partner on the cheek but I usually just do the move without the kiss. I've definitely never come across moves where you kiss your partner's neck though.

3

u/SubstantialCategory6 1d ago

I don't see Salsa mentioned anywhere in this fake story so.....

1

u/trytosayit 1d ago

Not fake.. These are my struggles. I reached out to this reddit community for opinions from dancers.. Believe what you want.

3

u/catladyno999 1d ago

So the other guy was kissing on her neck, AND she went on a date with him and kissed him?

Was this date and kiss while you two were together?

Sounds like she cheated on you.

1

u/trytosayit 1d ago

No i wasn't there.. Different dates..

6

u/PriceOk1397 2d ago

She will be cheating on you soon. For people dumb enough to say it is not the dancing. Well, playing with fire all the time or riding motorcycles without helmet long term won't end up well.

7

u/soontobesolo 2d ago

She's already cheating.

4

u/Davethe3rd 2d ago

She is most likely already cheating on him.

-3

u/PriceOk1397 2d ago

I want to thank both of the posters above for a dose of reality and for being honest. as supposed to most dumbasses here who down voted me or kept saying it is not about the 'dance'.

2

u/OrdinaryPass4536 1d ago

Let me guess without reading…bachata was involved?

1

u/trytosayit 1d ago

Yess, batchata was indeed involved, speaking from experience, i assume?

1

u/OrdinaryPass4536 1d ago

Seems like many who dance bachata don’t really do it for the dancing. It also seems to attract the sleaziest of characters in the Latin scene.

2

u/double-you 1d ago

No part of dancing bachata involves kissing or getting handsy. That's not "just dance". She is looking for thrills.

You also don't need to dress sexy or even fancy to dance, though a bunch of people like it. It doesn't turn a dance from "just dance" to something else, but she has failed on that already.

She wants you to just move past it without her actually changing anything. She should be fine dancing in whatever is she just likes to dance. But it seems she likes to dance a certain way.

1

u/asincero 1d ago

Did she try to gaslight you into thinking you're just being insecure yet? Speaking from experience (wrapped up 2024 with divorce), this probably won't end well. If you care about your marriage, don't be like me and let this ish slide. Might already be too late, though. Might be a better move to prepare yourself now (move finances around, get with a lawyer, etc).

1

u/trytosayit 1d ago

Yeah, i got that! Got gaslit time and time again.. I think we're too far off to save this.. Yup, this friday, i have an intake session with my lawyer. Fun times are coming!

-6

u/PriceOk1397 2d ago

The best thing you should work on is minimizing the damages from a pending divorce. men are screwed in the US (if you are). Her cheating may lessen the damages

1

u/soontobesolo 2d ago

Nah, her cheating is usually irrelevant for divorce, but he still should strategize.

2

u/trytosayit 2d ago

Yes, guys, I am keeping her in the dark about the divorce procedure until i get the whole thing squared with my attorney. Then, i will act on his advice.. Is it me or marriage and commitment isn't what it used to be anymore? I supported her in 2 different studies and was always there for her. I do jave my issues, like everyone, they can be annoying but to go and fuck it all up with other guys, i think there is no justification for that.. Anyhow, thanks guys for the support and your opinions! Means a lot!

1

u/soontobesolo 2d ago

Good! I went through this myself a few years ago. Here's the tips that I collected.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/d6aUr653Kf

Good luck to you. The process sucks but it's worth it in the end.

0

u/PriceOk1397 2d ago

you are right !

-4

u/PriceOk1397 2d ago

it would actually be great to get more down votes so I can count how many dumb people are in this forum.