r/ShitAmericansSay 12d ago

Foreign affairs On a post about Manchester Utd losing in the Carabao Cup. "For non Soccer fans - D2 school"

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127 Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

53

u/snugglebum89 Canada (Australia has a piece of Canada attached to them) 12d ago

Forgot hockey and Canadian football analogy. Also crikey too.

Edit: I meant to put Cricket but leaving it as it is.

27

u/Expert-Examination86 Braindead because of Americans. 12d ago

Also crikey too

"A crocodile hunter losing to a stingray"
Is that the analogy you were going for? If so, then I slightly approve, and am slightly offended.

5

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen 11d ago

What a beaut!

3

u/Redditvillier 11d ago

For the hockey analogy...

It's like the Toronto Maple Leafs losing to a Zamboni driver- oh... Wait...

100

u/3rd_Uncle 12d ago

Americans and Indians discovering football has ruined online football discussion.

People used to laugh at you if you supported a big club on the other side of the country instead of your local team. Now we have people from other continents arguing like madmen about clubs they dont fully understand in countries they dont know.

What's worse, as they were never introduced to the game organically- fathers uncles cousins sneaking you into the game without paying, endless football discussions/arguments at family gatherings, tribal rivalry at school/in the streets, maybe even a fight or two - they've came to the sport via computer games. So they see the game based on ratings etc rather than the club being an extension of the community. They "support" a club because it had 5 stars on FIFA and can't really understand the game beyond that synthetic lens. 

Its time to build the great football firewall. 

34

u/crucible 12d ago

Bit late for that. Imagine your town going from the region’s second biggest economic shithole, to a tourist destination almost overnight, and all because Deadpool and Mac bought the local team…

7

u/Vehlin 12d ago

I still want Hugh Jackman to buy Chester to get the rivalry going again.

0

u/crucible 12d ago

Ha that would be great

12

u/Ophiochos 12d ago

I dunno, people all over the world were supporting Man U because of the Busby era. At my school in Kent in the 80s, everyone supported Liverpool (etc)

1

u/Dede_42 ooo custom flair!! 12d ago

THY CAKE DAY IS NOW

2

u/Ophiochos 12d ago

Yay! It’s like that night in 1999 again:)

Well, not quite.

29

u/Scared-Room-9962 12d ago

Getting talked down to by American Man Utd "fans" online is something else.

It's crazy how I grew up in the 90s and everyone either supported United or absolutely despised them.

These plastics don't understand. Oh you're owned by Saudi, you're more hated than Man Utd now.

No mate. We could be owned by Hitler himself and proper fans would still hate ManU the most.

13

u/No_Pianist_4407 12d ago

Don't you worry mate, I'll always hate Manchester United the most.

And I'll keep taking the piss out of anyone that just says "United" and expects everyone to know exactly what club they're talking about. What United are they on about? West Ham? Sheffield? Newcastle? Leeds? Southend?

6

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen 11d ago

Leeds United is a decent team. I’m always rooting for whoever plays ManU because fuck them!

5

u/retroherb 11d ago

Wa-hey! Southend United don't even get a mention on actual football subs! Nice one :) Up The Shrimpers!

3

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen 11d ago

I get called a plastic (idk what it means) all the time, but I’ve followed Aston Villa since 2009 and one day I’ll get to see them play at Villa Park! Ollie Watkins is by far my fav player for the club since he came in. I enjoyed watching Steven Warnock back in the day.

3

u/InfinityEternity17 12d ago

Yeah because of the way we dominated at a time when a lot of us were growing up we're still the most hated club by far. Even after over a decade of utter shite we're still most football fans favourite punching bag lol.

5

u/Von_Uber 12d ago

I hated them because they stole fans from our local town. Hard to get kid interested in the lower leagues in your craopy ground when Man Utd (and now city) are 20 miles away.

2

u/LordKnt 12d ago

i've been a proper football fan for 25 years and i will hate state owned clubs and rapist protectors more than my childhood team's rivals because my morals go deeper than tribalism, but i agree with plastics being insufferable

2

u/PatxaInc 11d ago

Na, fuck that. I get your point on globalization but el fútbol es para todos my friend.

-11

u/Rough-Shock7053 Speaks German even though USA saved the world 12d ago

This kind of gatekeeping is the exact reason why I lose interest in football more and more the older I get. Let people support the clubs they want. What's it to you?

18

u/Scared-Room-9962 12d ago

No this is the type of gatekeeping we need.

0

u/Areawen 12d ago

That’s some serious boomer shit

4

u/Scared-Room-9962 12d ago

Support your local team.

Don't be a plastic.

1

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen 11d ago

What about those of us across the pond who don’t have a “local” team? The closest team is the Indianapolis Eleven (Indiana), at 2hrs. At 2.5hrs, St. Louis, MO. At 3hrs, Louisville,KY and Cincinnati, OH.

Who should I choose?

0

u/Areawen 12d ago

I do and I also like to watch EPL, cheer for a team and visit from time to time. Seeing your bitter face at the stadium would make the trips even more enjoyable 🔥

-15

u/Rough-Shock7053 Speaks German even though USA saved the world 12d ago

Now I see my mistake. How dare I support a team that's not my local team? What was I thinking?

Okay, you successfully pushed me out of the gate. You can add this to your list of W for today. 

10

u/Scared-Room-9962 12d ago

Glad you have seen the error of your ways. Support your local team to make amends.

0

u/Rough-Shock7053 Speaks German even though USA saved the world 12d ago

Okay. But I still need some help. After all, I only realized my mistake a few hours ago.

What does "local" mean? The town I live in? But there are two football clubs, which one do I choose? What if I move? Do I have to choose a new team?

Or do I have to support the team of the town I grew up in? How many matches I have to visit before I can call myself a fan?

2

u/sinnrocka Third-World American Citizen 11d ago

Just pick Bayern München and go on about it, jaja.

1

u/Rough-Shock7053 Speaks German even though USA saved the world 11d ago

But that team isn't local to me, so I'm not allowed to support them.

3

u/Scared-Room-9962 12d ago

All of this is as obvious as breathing to a none plastic. Questions that simply do not require asking.

1

u/Rough-Shock7053 Speaks German even though USA saved the world 12d ago

:(

0

u/3rd_Uncle 12d ago

We need more gatekeeping in absolutely everything which has some sort of value.

In my country they've already sold off tournaments to Saudi Arabia. They're talking about playing a league game in Miami.

Ticket prices are raised so that theyre really just for tourists. In the UK, theyre cancelling season tickets for any reason they can think off and then making the tickets available for visitors because they spend more money on merchandise and the money men have realised that they can make more money that way even if the seat is empty for much of the season.

The WC/FIFA  has always been corrupt but these last few years have been the worst: Qatar followed by 3 fucking countries- 2 of which with no real interest in the game - then Saudi Arabia. 

More fucking gatekeeping is required.

2

u/Rough-Shock7053 Speaks German even though USA saved the world 12d ago edited 12d ago

We need more gatekeeping in absolutely everything which has some sort of value.

What are those things? "Correct support of football teams" is on the list, I get that now. But what are other things? Which OS you use on your phone/computer? What car you drive? Renting or buying a house? The color of your underwear?

I'm sorry for being so dumb, but I literally woke up to the "correct way of doing things" a few hours ago.

EDIT: Btw, just wondering: Are you sure you are doing this "supporting" thing-y the correct way? After all, rising ticket prices only affect those clubs that play in the top leagues, right? Why don't you simply support a real local team in the non-leauges?

-1

u/3rd_Uncle 12d ago

Good try but you couldn't have picked a worse person to try and play that game with.

My local team is FC Barcelona but I go to CE Europa games as it's within walking distance and FCB games are now full of old people and tourists.

0

u/Rough-Shock7053 Speaks German even though USA saved the world 12d ago

Good try but you couldn't have picked a worse person to try and play that game with.

Yeah, exactly what a plastic supporter would say.

My local team is FC Barcelona

Is it, though? Because in the very same sentence it sounds like CE Europa is your local team. Which stadium is closer to you? Those things are important, my man!

and FCB games are now full of old people and tourists.

Funny. Because by your own logic you are now one of the people you complain about at CE Europa matches. You visit games of a club you have no real connection to. How is that any better than "tourists and old people" visiting FCB matches?

But hey, let's deep dive into this a bit more: Who is allowed to support FCB? Only people who live within walking distance of the stadium? What is the upper age limit of a supporter? 40? 30? 20? What do you do if you move away? Do you choose a new club to support, or would you still support FC Barcelona? Wouldn't that make you a "tourist"?

You see, gatekeeping doesn't lead to anything. You call yourself a supporter and yet you hate the thing you support and instead go to a different club. But hey, at least you can keep telling yourself you are "one of the real supporters". Whatever that is worth.

Btw, before gatekeepers like you told me off for "not supporting a local team" I was a supporter of another FCB from Germany. I really did enjoy the fierce battles our clubs fought in the Champions League (and yes, I do enjoy that "my" FCB had the upper hand more often than not). But... now I know that I was in the wrong. I'm probably too old now anyway. Gonna support a team from my home town now. Only problem is: There are two. I don't know how to decide which team is the right one, and no one will tell me. :(

12

u/nonlabrab 12d ago

Does this not happen in American sports, or are they all so ringfenced? Happens every year in the league cup and FA cup. Or international football, like when Iceland beat England, or if the US beat anyone.

7

u/No_Pianist_4407 12d ago

They're all very ring-fenced.

The structure is the same for all of them: Regular season to decide seeding for the playoffs, then you have the playoffs, the winner of the playoffs is the overall winner.

There's not even any promotion or relegation, the worst teams just get first choice of what new players they want for the next year.

2

u/meatpardle 12d ago

Not really in the major sports/competitions as the different tiers of teams never play each other.

It has happened in the MLS cup but I guess it isn’t enough of a popular reference for this person to use it or for other to understand.

2

u/pinniped90 Ben Franklin invented pizza. 12d ago

MLS Cup is ring-fenced.

US Open Cup isn't - and you do get upsets there.

MLS teams vary on how seriously they take the US Open Cup, but I guess that's not unlike European teams and the various cups that have midweek matches.

1

u/meatpardle 12d ago

Apologies that must be what I meant, I knew there was one cup that had upsets

3

u/pinniped90 Ben Franklin invented pizza. 11d ago

No worries - it's a fairly niche thing that nobody really follows outside of some pretty devoted American soccer fans.

Sporting KC fan here - enjoyed about 20 years of pretty solid play and then some Sporting fan sold their soul to the devil for some Chiefs Super Bowls. Now we're in a deep period of dogshittery.

37

u/Billy_Daftcunt 12d ago

Yeah, bad comparisons, but the Football League didn't make it simple, when renaming the fourth tier, League Two.

15

u/TywinDeVillena Europoor 12d ago edited 12d ago

We suffered that in Spain too. Back in the days of old, things were straightforward: Primera, Segunda, Tercera, and below that you had regional categories. Then, things became Primera, Segunda, Segunda B, Tercera, and regional divisions. A bunch of years ago, names were changed again, so now we have La Liga, La Liga 2 (or whatever their name is for sponsorship reasons), 1ª RFEF, 2ª RFEF, 3ª RFEF, and below that there are the regional divisions.

Having the names as they are now makes relative sense, as in the names you can see the administrative body in charge: La Liga 1 and La Liga 2 are governed by La Liga, then you have the competitions governed by the Spanish Football Federation, and below them the competitions are administered by the regional federations.

And the regional federations make it a whole new mess. For example, the topmost category of regional football in Galicia is called Preferente Galicia, and the second tier is called Primera Galicia, which is actually 7th tier in the football pyramid.

Your point stands, though. Having the 4th tier be called 2nd sounds wrong.

3

u/SenKats 12d ago

We suffered that in Spain too. Back in the days of old, things were straightforward: Primera, Segunda, Tercera, and below that you had regional categories. Then, things became Primera, Segunda, Segunda B, Tercera, and regional divisions. A bunch of years ago, names were changed again, so now we have La Liga, La Liga 2 (or whatever their name is for sponsorship reasons), 1ª RFEF, 2ª RFEF, 3ª RFEF, and below that there are the regional divisions.

Could be worse. In Uruguay we have Liga AUF Uruguaya (Liga Asociación Uruguaya de Fútbol Uruguaya) de Primera División, then Segunda División, then Primera División (Amateur), and then it's just called División D.

1

u/TywinDeVillena Europoor 12d ago

¿Cuántas divisiones tenéis en Uruguay? Aquí te pongo el ejemplo de España (y más específicamente de Galicia) en orden descendente:

La Liga, La Liga 2, 1ª RFEF, 2ª RFEF, 3ª RFEF, Preferente Galicia, 1ª Galicia, 2ª Galicia, 3ª Galicia.

1

u/SenKats 12d ago

Las que te dije nomás. Una división profesional, una "profesional", una semiprofesional y una completamente amateur.

Después tenemos una cosa rara, imagínate que tienes la RFEF y por un lado una Federación paralela que abarca sus provincias. Entonces paralelo al fútbol profesional tenemos ligas provinciales con sus sistemas de división independientes, y como una Champions League que juegan entre ellos. Pero no califican a nada continentalmente o se cruzan con los clubes profesionales excepto por una copa.

1

u/TywinDeVillena Europoor 12d ago

Tiene sentido, considerando que Uruguay tiene más o menos la población de Galicia. Si asumimos sólo las divisiones gallegas, habría 4: Preferente, 1ª Galicia, 2ª Galicia, y 3ª Galicia.

Esa copa de la que hablas suena como ese extraño torneo que tenemos en España que se llama Copa Federación:

https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copa_Federaci%C3%B3n_(Espa%C3%B1a)

7

u/LieutenantDawid belgian because my great great great great grandpappy was german 12d ago

i still dont understand because i have no idea what a D2 school is, no idea what alabama has to do with this, what a single-A minor league team is, no idea what grandmasters or platinums are

2

u/DaBulbousWalrus 12d ago

I don't know about the Overwatch stuff, but I can fill in the other two.

American College (University actually, but they call it college) gridiron football is the closest thing to the association football leagues in that there are hundreds of teams divided into multiple tiers. It used to be divided into Divisions I II and III, but later I got split into I-A and I-AA, and now they're called FBS and FCS. FBS is the one that generates the most money, gets the most coverage, and attracts the best players. The University of Alabama Crimson Tide (don't ask me) is one of the most successful college football teams ever, very much akin to Man U. They generally would never play a team three tiers below them, but teams at their level often will play 1-2 games a year against teams in the FCS to pad their records with easy wins. So there's nothing that's happened that could directly compare to the Grimsby upset, but describing it as one of the biggest teams in the sport losing to a Division III school kinda works.

As for "single A Minor," this refers to the fact that all of the major league baseball teams have multiple reserve/developmental squads that play in tiered leagues based on skill and/or experience level. These are known as the minor leagues. The top level is known as Triple A, the below that is Double A, and then there is just A. (There are also high and low tiers of A, and also Rookie Leagues, but I know little about those). So the analogy there would be like the New York Yankees getting beat in an exhibition game against, say, the Cincinnati Reds third-best reserve team in their 7,000 seat stadium in Dayton, Ohio. Again, this isn't the same thing, because it would never happen. But talent/experience-wise, it's somewhat accurate.

Honestly, I'm surprised he didn’t use the closest thing to this that could actually happen in American sports (and actually did once): a #16 seed beating a #1 in the NCAA college basketball tournament. And I'm not going to explain that too after the first two novels I just wrote.

11

u/TetraThiaFulvalene 12d ago

For English speakers that don't understand European sports division structures it's not really that bad to assume that it means Americans.

3

u/Foreign_Objective452 Fingolian bum 12d ago

An elephant losing to a whale.

2

u/throwrapseudo 10d ago

....or the US military losing to say, I don't know say Vietnamese farmers?

3

u/barneyrubble43 12d ago

But they forgot to mention - it's hilarious to most english people.

3

u/Oldoneeyeisback 12d ago

as a follower of neither American Sports or Association Football - though I have a limited acquaintance with both - why is this SAS?

6

u/pinniped90 Ben Franklin invented pizza. 12d ago

It's not really that bad - but it's an imperfect analogy. The structures of NCAA football (gridiron) work very differently than British football.

A D2 team beating Alabama is exceedingly more rare than upsets in open European football formats. I'm not even sure if D2 teams even play top D1 teams (in football).

You occasionally see FCS (what we used to call 1AA) beat an FBS (1A) squad.

There's a subset of fans from both the US and Europe who get really mad when you make these kinds of comparisons/analogies, because they're so invested in how their own sport works and can't fathom how another sport can have such a different structure.

2

u/Chonky-Marsupial 12d ago

They never really stood a chance.

Also: Fuck Brexit Jim. Hahahaha.

1

u/Derbloingles 12d ago

The comparison isn’t even accurate

1

u/sandraRare 11d ago

Perfect analogy, it really shows how embarrassing that loss was. A powerhouse club losing to a fourth tier team.

0

u/gjp11 10d ago

Was this on a generic sports sub or a football/soccer specific sub?

Cause like if it's a generic sports or news sub I don't see the problem with having a comparison so people can understand better. And I mean.... Is it that wrong to assume a non-soccer fan is likely American and would understand this better? (tho it's a bit inaccurate but at least he tried)