r/ShitAmericansSay 3d ago

California 1600s New Netherlands Colony Denmark mtDNA descendent

Post image
252 Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

195

u/OkKiwi_ 3d ago

Greetings from 200.000.000 B.C. Pangea descendent

77

u/WindInc 3d ago

No way, me too!

45

u/OkKiwi_ 3d ago

Holy sh*t! Your ancestors survived the big bang as well? r/nevertellmetheodds

4

u/Taken_Abroad_Book 2d ago

You're allowed to say shit on the reddit. Tiktok admin won't ban you 🙄

9

u/aaarry 3d ago

Prove it.

14

u/WindInc 3d ago

I would love to but my MyHeritage account was hacked, sadly..

True story, maybe.

3

u/Difficult_Future9994 Eye-talian 🤌🏼🍝 2d ago

Good day to you too, fellow eukaryote organism!

63

u/Republiken 3d ago

I have no idea what they're trying to say

40

u/doc1442 3d ago

That they don’t understand how DNA works, nor how ancestry DNA tests speculation works

17

u/WindInc 3d ago edited 3d ago

It also took me a few tries to even read it through it and now my brain hurts from trying to make sense of it.

22

u/bifb Lego in cream tea 🇩🇰🇬🇧 3d ago

It's a lot easier if your head already hurts before reading it, you get about a quarter into the comment and just decide to skim the rest because 70% of it is pure nonsense while the last 30% is just incoherent.

10

u/WindInc 3d ago

Very well said, I concur😄

6

u/Hot_Hat_1225 3d ago

„me better than you!“ {{{insert Stone Age growling sounds}}}

2

u/Due_Capital_3507 2d ago

I think it's a bot

2

u/Admirable_Ad8682 2d ago

That's just because this time he skipped the gangster coputer god communism. Even the Deadly Sneak Parroting Puppet Gangsters using all the Gangster deadly Frankenstein controls!

2

u/Renbarre 2d ago

That they have a 400 years Scandinavian ancestry down the women side of his lineage, plus whatever ancestry was added through marriage down that line, which seems to include every colonist who set foot on the land.

1

u/Republiken 2d ago

No they clearly mention that the grandmothers are of different nationalities

1

u/Renbarre 1d ago

Yes, but I read that as having been added later by other women. Danish Mitochondria is mentioned first

38

u/Front-Anteater3776 3d ago

Greetings from Denmark, descendant of Hamburg Culture hunter-gatherers who were the first people to arrive here 13000 BC.

0

u/No-Advantage-579 3d ago edited 2d ago

Interesting. Had never heard of Hamburg culture.

0

u/Zintao Son of a Dutchman 19h ago

Dafuq you thought the Hamburglar is from?

0

u/No-Advantage-579 15h ago

From the city, rather than the paleolithic culture.

19

u/neilm1000 ooo custom flair!! 3d ago

If he has Danish mitochondrial DNA why isn't one of the several grandmothers, or indeed his actual mother, Danish? Or have I misread this word salad?

Also, wtf, now we're in the territory of ethic mtDNA.

42

u/berny2345 3d ago

He is saying that his mother had 5 grandmothers. Most of us only get 2!

14

u/WindInc 3d ago

America wins again!

18

u/DancinginHyrule 3d ago

Soooo, he’s not Danish if everyone on his mother’s side are/were Swedish..

These people really can’t hear themself, can they?

6

u/SyraWhispers 2d ago

No no, he's Swedish, french, English, dutch and much more. He's the descendant of tens of millions of people during the 1600.

(there were about 580 million people worldwide at the time)

14

u/Orbit1970 3d ago

These muricans go out of their way to prove they ain’t murican don’t they?

9

u/ALazy_Cat Danish potato language speaker 3d ago

And then say they're American and #1

2

u/patatjepindapedis 2d ago

This one is just proud of being a descendant of colonizers in stead of recent migrants. Or did I read the implication wrong?

15

u/Bennyandchips 3d ago

Greetings from the first fish who crawled out from the sea.

18

u/Kratomius Nordic Commie 3d ago

I have always wondered why americans are so obsessed with genetics/eugenics when talking about where they are from, it's super weird and honestly n*zi coded. It's not like your DNA tells your nationality, Where you live tells it.

8

u/WindInc 3d ago

I suspect it's because they're a young nation comprised of immigrants, so I guess it's natural that they wonder about their ancestry. It probably just evolved into an unhealthy obsession for some of them.

6

u/googlemcfoogle 3d ago

Normally the way to do this is just to continue your parents/grandparents' diaspora culture, not do a DNA test and start LARPing as whatever has the best percentage-to-appeal ratio to you

8

u/rothcoltd 3d ago

Oh look. Another Europoor!

6

u/monkeyofthefunk 3d ago

If this guy is religious and a Christian then he must believe that we are all inbred.

6

u/Trichonymous 3d ago

So we Spaniards are no longer the damned colonizers of that area? Will they stop hating and despising us? Olé!!! Somebody burn the history books before that poor boy suffers an identity crisis.

2

u/WindInc 2d ago

Of course it is. It's only us when it's positive!
I think this dude has had 10 identity crises already😅

Storytime!
So Ole is a Danish name, right?
When I was still learning how to read, we had a children's comic where they cheered A LOT throughout the book "Olé Olé Olé!".
After reading the book, I asked my teacher where the hell Ole was and why they couldn't find him🤦‍♂️
r/kidsarefuckingstupid

2

u/Trichonymous 2d ago

😆😆😆

They couldn't find him because he went to California 🫣😁

2

u/WindInc 2d ago

Hahaha I will accept that as canon😄

7

u/essenza Subsidized by ‘Murica 🇨🇦 3d ago

Identity crisis in a nutshell

7

u/depressed_momo 2d ago

😂 okay as an American (please don’t prosecute me cause I’m not proud of it, and never was), I loved doing my genealogy for history. But also because my Mother and Aunt loved to put down my father who had no clue about his history. But from historical records, the religious nuts that came on the mayflower (my father’s family including Bishop Robinson’s family, Brewster, Tilley, and few others) were all in the Netherlands because they left the UK because they didn’t fit in due to their crazy beliefs. Not because they were from there. So I really do not understand his statement unless he really didn’t follow the paperwork and only the dna. Because dna only gets you so far. It’s the paperwork trail that you have to follow to know who married who to know who you really related to. I’m not proud after finding out all of this. Because I know the Pilgrims were a white washed USA urban legend and to massacre here. Bishop Robinson is my straight up my 11th great grandfather along with Reverend Brewster. And both in my eyes are shameful using religion as a tool. But I would never tell another country or its ppl yep we are related so 👋 hey! 😂 it was just history to me. And my father died before I could tell him all he was from. But I could make my Mom less critical and less judgmental. And that at least make me smile after all the years of listening to that bs and humiliation of him.

5

u/WindInc 2d ago

There is nothing wrong with exploring your ancestry😄 Some of my family have traced our bloodline on my fathers side back to the 1500s.
As you express yourself, it starts getting weird when people confuse ancestry with nationality or starts acting like we're related because they had an ancestor who lived here 300 years ago. A couple of years ago an American actually added me on Facebook because we had the same last name and that was enough for him to assume we were related😅
I'm glad you made this comment so we can clear that up. No need to be embarrassed about that❤️

4

u/depressed_momo 2d ago

Thank you, still embarrassed by USamericans not actually learning history. And thinking they are so superior. My own Grandmother would say with age comes wisdom 😂. But if she could see what was happening I think she would shutter. She was silent about the history maybe due to she knew what the truth was. But I made sure my kids know the truth, my grandkids know. With facts even. Pride sometimes is the most harmful thing that can hold you back from actually knowing the truth. Thank you once again, I love this subreddit actually!

3

u/WindInc 2d ago edited 1d ago

Preach!
I choose to believe that the US will straighten up after hitting rock-bottom and getting your education system on track. There's plenty of good people in the US. It just seems like they don't have any influence atm.

Pleasure to have you here. We need some americans to remind us that all of you aren't like the ones we post about😄

Have a good one✌🏼

1

u/WindInc 2d ago

And RIP to your father🙏

3

u/depressed_momo 2d ago

Ty again, he probably laughs every time I correct her and she marches off.

5

u/BrokilonDryad 3d ago

K, but who the fuck asked?

4

u/WindInc 3d ago

My thoughts exactly.

"Greetings from Denmark"

"FYI, here's my entire dnndjxjhenxjzjsjdndnzjzjevrjdufbr"

Sidenote
Some of us danes have a weird tendency when we come across a positive video/comment involving Denmark where we just comment "Greetings from Denmark" without contributing anything else to the conversation whatsoever.
It's pretty damn cringe😆

5

u/Conscious_Lie4247 2d ago

Sounds like this guy had one too many danishes in Solvang and went into diabetic shock.

2

u/WindInc 2d ago

Imagine the reaction if you told him danishes are actually from Vienna

New ancestry unlocked!
-That guy, probably

5

u/ViolettaHunter 2d ago

Nobody was asking for a detailed chart of your genealogical tree, Janice. 

2

u/Caine815 2d ago

Mayflower was the size of Queen Mary II at least. So many people....

1

u/maxroscopy ooo custom flair!! 1d ago

Nah, they are just all inbred

2

u/the_speeding_train 2d ago

I just got my African passport for being a human!

0

u/Sasya_neko federation of the Dutch 2d ago

New Netherlands?

I am dutch and have never even heard of this....

2

u/WindInc 2d ago

It's probably real. There seems to be a New insert country/city here for almost every significant city/country in the world before the US existed.

3

u/Dull-Nectarine380 2d ago

New netherlands was the old name for what is now new york.

1

u/WindInc 2d ago

God damnit, that completely diminishes my danish pride..

2

u/Dull-Nectarine380 2d ago

There was also a new sweden in new jersey and delaware!

1

u/WindInc 2d ago

I'm not even going to get into that😂

1

u/CeccoGrullo that artsy-fartsy europoor country 🇮🇹 2d ago

Wow, your school system betrayed you hard! How did you not learn about your own colonial empire?

https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nieuw-Nederland

3

u/Sasya_neko federation of the Dutch 2d ago

Because the US isn't important

2

u/CeccoGrullo that artsy-fartsy europoor country 🇮🇹 2d ago

What US? That country didn't even exist back then. This is about you not knowing basic notions of your own country's history, not about the States.

5

u/Sasya_neko federation of the Dutch 2d ago

It literally says it is in the US, not really important. I know about new Amsterdam but it was mentioned only two lessons, after that ww2 was all we learnt about which is a much more significant portion of our history.

0

u/CeccoGrullo that artsy-fartsy europoor country 🇮🇹 2d ago

Well, that would be incredibly sad if true, there's so much more to cover. I'm not sure I'm buying your tale.