r/ShitAmericansSay Indian who's called the usual names 2d ago

Food This is why America is the number 1 country in the United States. Let's gooo baby!

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

223 comments sorted by

532

u/Morlakar 2d ago

I can't argue that.

127

u/Gokudomatic 2d ago

Better not. It might infect you.

70

u/Erikblod Danish (No Greenland is still not for sale) 2d ago

I can argue against the logic in what he is saying. If America=US it can't be "in" itself and if he is refering to America as in the continent then it is the other way around.

But on the other hand that might be to much thinking for some Americans.

28

u/OrcimusMaximus 2d ago

If you can't be in yourself, better be up yourself

9

u/PuzzleheadedBread198 2d ago

So, self penatrtion than, guess it works for them some, fascinating šŸ¤”.

9

u/LettuceTough 2d ago

Hence maga

10

u/centzon400 šŸ—½Freeeeedumb!šŸ—½ 2d ago

Hmm. First, consider the set of all sets that do not contain themselves. Call this R...

Oh, fuck it. Nevermind. They tried to teach us something about the Barber paradox at school. That day I knew I would not be a logician.

3

u/Practical_Repeat5009 2d ago

blah blah blah give us greenland or else

2

u/TaleEcstatic3127 1d ago

America, USA, United States that is all the same to us buddy. But if you say the United States of America we won't know what you are talking about. We will just say. USA. USA. USA.

6

u/Tuepflischiiser 2d ago

Well, I lost my appetite.

2

u/TerrorTwyns 2d ago

I mean, as written it seems fairly accurate.. I notice no one pointed out number 1 in morbidity but that would just be too much.

366

u/Quicker_Fixer From the Dutch socialistic monarchy of Europoora šŸ‡³šŸ‡± 2d ago

64

u/Gothrait_PK 2d ago

So like slightly more than half of the US..? There's like 38% inside "poorly educated" that talk like they are entirely uneducated lol.

15

u/kodex184 2d ago

Bigly educated.

119

u/Slow_Description_773 2d ago edited 2d ago

It's true, because at least once you'll get an heart attack from eating that crap you will have to pay the hospital with your own money rather than the ones we pool with taxes back in EU.

49

u/Beagle432 2d ago

The expression: that costs an arm and a leg??
In US it is: that costs a house and your credit rating

2

u/TheDeadlySpaceman 1d ago

Diabetes can cost you a foot, at least.

6

u/lakas76 2d ago

It does look good though. I personally wouldn’t eat it, at least not all of it, but it does look tasty.

3

u/GoldenBhoys 2d ago

I would once after a proper session and love it, but would wake up feeling worse than I had cheated on my wife.

2

u/BaitmasterG 2d ago

Don't worry, your wife was whispering to me the other day that she's ok with cheating

1

u/lakas76 2d ago

I can agree to that. I had a cinnamon role this morning with that delicious but terrible frosting on it and still feel nasty. Will not be doing that for a while again.

5

u/Medium_Trade8371 Australian 2d ago

There must be something wrong with your eyesight. It looks like shit and vomit to me.

4

u/Practical_Repeat5009 2d ago

it’s a burger with cheese and onions 😭😭 it’s just a monstrosity of a burger with cheese and onions

2

u/Medium_Trade8371 Australian 2d ago

You keep telling yourself that. My condolences to your family.

5

u/Practical_Repeat5009 2d ago

i’m not eating this monstrosity. but it does look tasty. which doesn’t change the fact it’s a heart attack on bread šŸ˜‚

3

u/lakas76 2d ago

It’s hamburger, grilled onions, and cheese. I don’t see the shit or vomit. Maybe you have really good looking vomit?

2

u/Medium_Trade8371 Australian 2d ago

I'm not answering. The last thing I want is another argument about what deranged people eat, drink or cook.

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34

u/Western-Calendar-352 2d ago

ā€œWhere would this country be without this great nation of ours.ā€

Ronald Reagan

17

u/Sexy_farm_animals 2d ago

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again. George Bush

5

u/ducktape8856 1d ago

I miss the days US Presidents only said stupid things once in a while. Even Dubya was quite boring. Boring is good.

1

u/No-Minimum3259 4h ago

Well US politics is boring and predictabla as well: seldom in favor of the people.

137

u/SgtTreehugger 2d ago

Guys... That's an obvious joke...

36

u/eifiontherelic 2d ago

Also I'd admittedly want to try that burger once and never again.

15

u/NoManufacturer7372 2d ago

I’m not even tempted to try it once.

8

u/eifiontherelic 2d ago

And that's fine. I'd have to mentally and physically prepare myself to eat this thing, given the chance anyway.

2

u/No_Necessary_3356 hAhA eUrOpoOr!!! 2d ago

Good wish because you won't be in a condition to try it a second time anyways

16

u/stinkus_mcdiddle 2d ago

As so many of the posts on this sub are

16

u/Bulky-Adeptness7997 2d ago

Hm with some Americans you never know these days you did it to yourself you guys set the bar so low noone can tell if it's real or not. Alone the realistic possibility is sad for americans.

9

u/awa416 Thanks, I hate my own country 2d ago

I’m not quite so sure about that as an American…

9

u/Dustdevil88 šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡ø murican 2d ago

Agreed. Definitely not a joke.

4

u/Bloodoolf 2d ago

Or is it? I wouldn't overwstimate maga's intelligence

3

u/-UnseenCat-030 2d ago

I mean, with blatant, over the top, flashy nationalism on the rise, the joke isn't even THAT obvious tbf. Nationalism, as a sentiment, will often reward rather silly statements as long as they are patriotic because if you say something dumb out of patriotism, you're not ignorant, you're just "candide", "innocent", "uncorrupted by the world" or "have a wonderous, childlike faith".

So yes, it's definitely a joke, but imo it still fits the sub very well, exactly because in our current day and age, it's not always clear wether a statement like that is serious or not.

7

u/Bradamante-kun 2d ago

I've had complaints at my retail job over mistaking an idiotic statement for a joke. The person was asking for live performances of a composer playing his own music. They were offended when I pointed out that the composer died before recording technology existed.

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1

u/tomatoe_cookie 2d ago

Wouldn't the guy posting the joke be happy people laugh at it ?

-10

u/[deleted] 2d ago

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9

u/Sasya_neko federation of the Dutch 2d ago

That's not food, that's globbed fat

10

u/Illustrious-Divide95 2d ago

Terrible healthcare and the world's most unhealthy food.

17

u/Bolter_NL 2d ago

If it's meant as a joke it's quite funnyĀ 

2

u/vctrlzzr420 2d ago

It is a jokeĀ 

3

u/HeadMoose 2d ago

American (Yank) here: checks out. Most people know f*ckall about geography. And it is getting worse...quickly.

8

u/snajk138 2d ago

She's not wrong, though barely correct...

11

u/Terminusaquo 2d ago

Number 1 for obesity and heart attacks maybe. šŸ¤”

6

u/Master-Dot-2288 2d ago

America is absolutely the number one country at everything in the United States, brother.... only one country makes up the United States.

3

u/Golden-Owl 2d ago

Ironically, no.1 for obesity is American Samoa

The US itself is ā€œmerelyā€ no.10

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4

u/Due_Capital_3507 2d ago

Pretty sure that's satire

6

u/Jean-Claude-Can-Ham More Irish than the Irish ā˜˜ļø 2d ago

This is obviously a joke though

4

u/Dustdevil88 šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡ø murican 2d ago

I assure you that it’s not

3

u/Organic_Mechanic_702 2d ago

Did you throw that up?...Oh sorry thats American 'food' isn't...no wonder life expectancy is lower...

3

u/pistoffcynic 2d ago

Yes… America leads the world in obesity rates and healthcare costs.

3

u/joergsi 2d ago

Ah, geography, the undiscovered country!

3

u/Optimal-Rub-2575 2d ago

Number 1 in cardiovascular disease.

3

u/Hairy_Addendum7789 2d ago

Let’s hope they got that premium healthcare insurance package.

2

u/BawdyBadger 2d ago

Even then they might meet a random doctor in the hospital and get it denied.

3

u/Mastamindcook 2d ago

As an American I don't even find this to be satire lol. I think most of these fools actually think this stuff for real and worse tbh 🤯🫣

3

u/Bjorn_Tyrson 2d ago

Americans once again eating like they have free healthcare.

2

u/Chemical_Form_8015 2d ago

They walk among us.

3

u/MilkyyFox 2d ago

Waddle

2

u/rothcoltd 2d ago

Come back when you have worked out where you live.

2

u/tattrd 2d ago

In 50 years, people will be embarassed finding MAGA hats in their grandfather's stuff. Not to mention callin the US 'the greatest country' will get you angry glares from Americans around you... hopefully...

2

u/randomthrowaway8993 2d ago

Because we're dumb enough to willingly give ourselves a heart attack for a few moments of mediocre enjoyment? Yeah I guess that kind of makes sense

2

u/AwarenessPresent8139 2d ago

Awesome. Cholesterol will help the world.

2

u/callumwall 1d ago

Ok this is exactly why America is the number 1 country in the United States

1

u/Gysburne 2d ago

Ah yeah.. my bottle is the number one in the liquid.

First... "The United States is the number 1 in America."
Second... that is subjective.
Third... "The United States is probably 35th of the 35 sovereign countries in America."

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2

u/Hydrangeia 2d ago

Guys, we don’t have to take obvious jokes seriously. They say a lot of dumb shit already. Chill.

1

u/Olon1980 my country is the wurst šŸ‡©šŸ‡Ŗ 2d ago

Ehm... Nevermind.

1

u/notAugustbutordinary 2d ago

I admit I do really enjoy a good burger occasionally. For all I know this burger tastes really good, but genuinely that picture looks like someone has picked up a turd with a flattened bread bun.

1

u/Qfn4g02016 2d ago

I agree

1

u/bindermichi ooohh! custom flair!! 2d ago

Itā€˜s also the only country in the United States… soooo r/technicallythetruth

1

u/Kaablooie42 2d ago

It's so wild to be as an outsider that anyone can seriously think that.

1

u/matt-r_hatter 2d ago

Im not sure having extremely yummy cheeseburgers is what does the trick... lots of countries have really good food. That does look good though.

1

u/TiredTraveler87 2d ago

Yes, in obesity.

1

u/iTmkoeln Cologne native, Hamburg exicled - Europoor šŸ‡ŖšŸ‡ŗ 2d ago

Only trust it if exactly this is added to Orange Man’s diet every meal for the rest of his life

1

u/Candid_Code7024 2d ago

You know what I think when i hear - breaking news from America - I think

A) What is Trump doing/saying now that is mad

B) How many kids have died in the latest mass shooting

1

u/Adorable-Gur3825 2d ago

Its starting to confuse itself

1

u/glarbung 2d ago

Fun fact: the US is tied for first place when ranking countries by people per capita.

1

u/Logical-Violinist945 2d ago

Yay I love high blood pressureĀ 

1

u/No-Wonder1139 2d ago

Fair observation.

1

u/submarine-explorer 2d ago

"Chile es el mejor pais de Chile" vibes

1

u/hdldm 2d ago

This has to be a joke lmao

1

u/Tecoz4 2d ago

Number 1 because of easily getting obese?

1

u/Tommy_Gun10 2d ago

I mean he's not wrong

1

u/Danny61392 2d ago

"Where would this great nation be, without this great country of ours?"

1

u/L_E_M_F 2d ago

Number one in obesity? Not the flex he think it is.

1

u/MilkyyFox 2d ago

America, the number one country in the United States for heart disease.

1

u/JagsFan_1698 Sadly an American 2d ago

They’re correct, United States is the #1 country in the United States

1

u/-Generaloberst- 2d ago

That looks as if someone had to puke, scrapped of the street and put it in something that should be bread?

1

u/kindofsus38 2d ago

He’s not wrong though

1

u/BigN1sfa šŸ‡¬šŸ‡· Greek Europ**r 🤮🤮🤢🤢 2d ago

Why is this sub recently getting filled with stuff that look like jokes?

1

u/RedNas2015 šŸ‡³šŸ‡± 2d ago

IQ -100

1

u/Internal-Tank-6272 2d ago

Technically not wrong

1

u/KindlyLecture9087 2d ago

Number 1 for heart attacks

1

u/LopsidedVictory7448 2d ago

Is that why one of their teams ALWAYS wins the World Series?

2

u/kellym13 2d ago

Except if Toronto wins.

1

u/GrouchyNothing1828 2d ago

Other countries do burgers better.

Sorry, yanks.

1

u/mrtn17 metric minion 2d ago

that burger looks atrocious btw. Gigantic ball of meat, processed cheese and tiny bun

1

u/Standard_Jackfruit63 2d ago

At least this one doesnt pretend to know that the rest of the world exists.

When that is said, this statement almost seems like something someone outside of the US would say to get into this sub

1

u/olafk97 2d ago

It's true, in the same way North korea is the second most democratic country in Korea and number one in North Korea

1

u/Medium-Wolverine6862 2d ago

Oh holy Jaysus

1

u/Philsie136 2d ago

It’s a sad fact that this sort of nonsense contributes to the ever growing (pun intended) Obesity crisis, Put another way your the number 1 fat cunts in the world.

1

u/Glum_Possibility_367 2d ago

So you can't get a burger anywhere else in the world?

1

u/amazingdrewh 2d ago

What even is in that burger?

1

u/CptCave1 2d ago

Go to hospital for your diabeetus followup?

1

u/damnnewphone 2d ago

Number one out of one is both first place and last place. Congratulations amarica, you get two awards.

1

u/Orbit1970 2d ago

America is in the US?! Mindbaffling

1

u/Pain_Bearer78 2d ago

I’m ashamed to be American. Most of the time.

1

u/TeaRose__ Whoa what a big world 2d ago

God that photo almost made me barf inside my mouth

1

u/Kherlos 2d ago

I feel like he mixed up those 2. Not that'd be true. Clearly Denmark is n1.

1

u/BaconSarnie2025 2d ago

Lets gooo. Yes that is gooo.

1

u/Illustrious_Law8512 2d ago

In hardened arteries and congestive heart failure, maybe.

1

u/Oopsiedazy 2d ago

Indisputable

1

u/Demonkittymusic 2d ago

I can already feel the indigestion…

1

u/SixShoot3r 2d ago

šŸ¤¦šŸ»šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø

1

u/Thalassophoneus Greek šŸ‡¬šŸ‡· 2d ago

"SPLURT!"

1

u/Rustyguts257 2d ago

Umm, I live in that nice condo called Canada just above the meth lab known as the USA. I had a better hamburger at a local restaurant last night. Please don’t tell me the USA ā€˜invented’ the hamburger - putting a hunk of meat between two pieces of bread was a thing before 1776 as was apple pie and motherhood but I digress.

1

u/jatxna 2d ago

Chile es el mejor paĆ­s de Chile.

.......................

1

u/Irsu85 Dutchie living abroad 2d ago

I can make a better hamburger than that I think (at least for my tastebuds)

1

u/Possible-Zone904 2d ago

And the dumbassery keeps on rolling, no end to this stupido train. Keep eating trash like that, and keep heart disease number one!

1

u/TheFumingatzor 2d ago

Why do Amerikan's eat like they have free health care?

1

u/Legitimate-Desk-5536 ooo custom flair!! 2d ago

Final boss

1

u/Alpa_NL 2d ago

Number 1 obese country, iets go arteries!

1

u/Dmpoaod_v2 2d ago

One of the rare occasions when american is somewhat right. Also one of the not-so-rare occasions when american while being somewhat right is also somehow completely wrong xD

1

u/PermaDerpFace 2d ago

Number 1 in morbid obesity

1

u/Mas_Cervezas 2d ago

For heart disease?

1

u/Lokibko 2d ago

She is actually right

1

u/_Khorvidae_ 2d ago

What? Diabetes?

1

u/MightyTaur 2d ago

1 Obese country in the world

1

u/Sxn747Strangers 2d ago

So many health problems to choose from, so so many? 🤣
They’re also a major buyer on the mobility scooter market, go figure! šŸ¤”šŸ¤”

1

u/DragonStyle01 šŸ‡²šŸ‡½ Bad Hombre 2d ago

Oh yes, Chile reference

1

u/MessyRaptor2047 2d ago

How flexible is this guy because he clearly loves to kiss his own backside.

1

u/Content_Talk_6581 2d ago

In heart attacks, probably…

1

u/Balseraph666 2d ago

I feel like vomiting just from seeing that. My arteries are crying in pain just from the sight of it.

1

u/Stock_Paper3503 2d ago

At Diabetes and heart attacks?

1

u/YayaTheobroma 2d ago

What even is that filthy mess on the photo? It looks like a dog puked it.

1

u/robfuscate 2d ago

Looks like somebody clapped in a bun and the Capitalists sold it as food … oh wait …

1

u/Prijent_Smogonk 2d ago

Thats why we’re all fat asses as well

1

u/Bubble_Lights 2d ago

This is why America is the nuber 1 fattest country! Let's goooo diabeetus!

1

u/uxgpf 2d ago

I though the United States was a country in (North) America? Now I'm confused.

Also isn't Canada the nr.1 and U.S an idiocratic plutocracy that resides south of it?

1

u/EorlundGraumaehne German 2d ago

I mean he is not wrong! The US is rhe best in the US!

1

u/Michael_Gibb Mince & Cheese, L&P, Kiwi 2d ago

More like, number one in illiteracy. Lol.

1

u/FireAuraN7 2d ago

But see - this actually IS true.

1

u/Desperate_Ship_4283 2d ago

But outside america, people do not want to eat something that looks like dogshit

1

u/hendy85 2d ago

That’s why they are #1 in obesity lmao.

1

u/ElectronicDingo836 2d ago

World Series champions every freakin year, No other country has ever won it, ever….American Exceptional…

1

u/InformalHelicopter56 2d ago

Yea geography really isn’t their forte

1

u/nolawnchairs 2d ago

Yeah, number 1 in angioplasties per capita.

1

u/pixtax 2d ago

Finally.

1

u/Kohlj1 2d ago

Imagine thinking America is the only country with burgers.

1

u/deedee2148 2d ago

Look, I enjoy a greasy burger once in awhile like a lot of people but that just looks gross and way too much.Ā 

1

u/Practical_Ad_2481 2d ago

1 for obesity rates - go Murica!!

1

u/Look_turtles 2d ago

Number one is heart attacks maybe

1

u/SatchSaysPlay 2d ago

Ohh ohh is it an authoritarian government? So cool /s Best part is from the administrations point of view, the public are making excuses for their tyrannical behaviour lmfao Just incredible

1

u/TenderofPrimates 2d ago

Ummm… yup, okay.

1

u/WillieOneLung 2d ago

We do lobe a third world education.

1

u/grillbar86 2d ago

I mean he is not wrong.

1

u/AgreeableFishing2467 2d ago

Even what we call lurido Is better..

1

u/crankyticket 2d ago

Maybe Trump was onto something about building a wall. We need one that goes right around the entire United States to keep the madness in.

1

u/Even-Combination8592 2d ago

Is is this real ? Please don’t tell me it’s real

1

u/PandiBong 2d ago

Spoken by someone who's never been outside his own state let alone country...

1

u/summerlad86 2d ago

No arguing that tho

1

u/chaosandturmoil 1d ago

*number one obese country

1

u/fabulot 1d ago

Infarctus and Diabetes number one yippee

1

u/dima74 1d ago

What is it I am seeing on the picture?

1

u/Expensive_Laugh_5589 1d ago

America might be the number one in the US, but it's still smaller than Texas

1

u/Key_Natural_2881 1d ago

Kinda looks vaguely like food, but is a guaranteed retirement plan for a cardiologist.

1

u/Realistic_Let3239 1d ago

Finally, a reasonable comparison!

1

u/puaka 1d ago

Hawaii is better.

1

u/FU-I-Quit2022 1d ago

My house is the best residence in my house.

1

u/goodguyLTBB 23h ago

I think he was joking, right? Right?

1

u/No-Minimum3259 4h ago

Strange: what I see happening these days in the US, doesn't look like a number 1 country. It looks more like scenes from The Turner diaries.

1

u/DefinitionOfAsleep The 13 Colonies were a Mistake 2d ago

For heart disease?

That actually looks really oily.

1

u/colderthantoast 2d ago

Cheese all through the bitch

1

u/CappinCanuck 2d ago

Gave me a bit of a chuckle I won’t lie

1

u/Ultranerdgasm94 2d ago

I think that one might be a joke.