so I have a coworker that is very passive aggressive towards me and its been happening for a while. i let my manager know about it and honestly i just want to ask her directly either whats her problem with me or why she has a problem with me and if she could stop the passive aggressiveness. like example i work in a deli and on one day its just me and her and when the deli opens at 9 i tend to do the hot case side and that leaves her to do the slicing of meat and cheese for customers and 9/10 times she just disappears and leaves me to do it all by myself and when i go to do her side she magically appears and trys to take over my side so i tell her im almost finished with the custoner and ill get right back to it. she will then basically throw a fit and walk off disappearing again. should i ask her if she wants to do hot case? she doesnt talk to me and its like shes just ignoring me but its like if i start talking to her shes fine talking to me but she doesn't seek it out like she does with this other coworker who now doesn't like me probably because she bad mouthed me to her. i honestly just want to know how to ask her if she has a problem with me but if i do it without help im going to straight up say it like that and be all blunt and rude sounding so help in saying that in a nicer way would be nice. thank you in advance

Okay this might sound weird but hear me out. I was at this party last weekend and literally spent the whole time standing in the corner because I had no clue how to just... talk to people? Like I see other guys just walking up to girls and having these smooth conversations and I'm over here overthinking every word. Got me thinking, what if there was an app where you could actually practice these conversations beforehand? Not like some generic "conversation starters" bullshit, but actually realistic practice. Like imagine you could:

Set up scenarios (party, coffee shop, whatever) Have conversations with AI that actually feels real, not like talking to Siri Get feedback on whether you're being interesting or just coming off as desperate/weird Practice until you actually feel confident enough to try it IRL

I know it sounds kinda cringe but honestly I feel like I missed some social skills class everyone else took. And I'm probably not the only one? The rating thing could be helpful too, like did this response make the conversation more engaging or did it kill the vibe? Am I asking good questions or just being boring? I dunno, maybe I'm overthinking it. Anyone else struggle with this stuff or is it just me being weird? Would something like this actually be useful or would you just feel like a loser using it? Also are there already apps like this that I'm just too dumb to find? Thanks and roast me hard lol

This all happened online.

I recently had an interaction on a language exchange app that left me spiraling. The person said they had just started learning English, so I assumed they were a total beginner. I started teaching really basic stuff, but got frustrated when they didn’t respond in kind. Eventually, I sent them a beginner tutorial link and told them to check it out because I’m not great at teaching from scratch. I tried to be polite, but it was probably rude — and I couldn’t delete the message.

A few days later, they suddenly replied in really good English. I was so embarrassed and guilty. I apologized, but I kept thinking about it afterward.

That got me reflecting on other situations that didn’t go well — like when a friend vented to me, and I responded by sharing a similar experience. They went cold after that, and I realized I might have made them feel invalidated.

All of this, combined with past friendship struggles, made me feel like I’m the problem. I’ve noticed some patterns in myself:

• I often talk about myself and try to relate to others by sharing my own experiences — maybe too much.
• When someone shares something they like, even if I’m interested, I don’t know how to respond beyond “ooo that’s cool” or “I like that too.”
• I avoid being too energetic (like using all caps) because I don’t want to come off as annoying.
• Small talk feels awkward. I worry I’m interrogating people instead of having a normal conversation.
• I tend to realize social mistakes only after they happen.
• Sometimes I admire what others do, but I can’t stay interested or engaged — maybe it’s my attention span.
• Not exactly a pattern, but my sister told me that I can't accept the fact that I can make mistakes.

If anyone has advice or tips on improving how I connect with people or building better self-awareness in the moment, I’d be super grateful. Thanks!!!

We were talking at work about the incoming fall and winter weather coming in soon. I was half in the conversation, half fixing a last minute error that I just found. What I should have said was, "I'm ready to make chili soon." What I had in my head was, "I've been looking at my chili ingredients." What I said was, "I've been looking at my chili cans." This made everyone go, "What? Cans of chili? You eat that crap?" While I do use canned beans, I know how to make chili and I abhor that fake Hormel crap but it was too late to backpedal. One of the ladies rolled her eyes and muttered, "Men..." It may be small, it may be forgotten, but I'm feeling insecure about this. It's bad enough I live with my folks, now it looks like I microwave or order out everything. It was the end of shift, my brain was tired, I wanted to get this thing done and I slipped. Anything I can do to maintain my culinary reputation amongst colleagues and peers?

so ive been struggling with guilt driven avoidance around asking for and receiving help. i have difficulty communicating my needs directly such as im tired or asking if someone can help me with a chore so i tend delay it. when someone notices if i havent done a task, i would say just set it aside i will do it later so normally they offer to take over but i straight up resist help bc i don't want to burden them but this ends up frustrating them despite me trying to explain how difficult it is for me to ask for help, the delayed communication disrupts their routine and leads to arguments. and maybe even before asking , i brace for a no and that stress makes asking feel riskier than just quietly struggling. the process of asking for help or informing stresses me out so instead of saying I can’t do this today i just dont hand it over at all bc the delay, guilt n the burden of communication feel heavier than going thru it all by myself.

yea so what do you think would be the best solution? or how should i prepare myself for a no and not let it consume me?

I never really go out drinking or partying but a friend and I decided to. I got drunk at a bar waiting for him and some guys I struck up a conversation with said they were going to a club. I've never been dancing and I was still waiting for my friend but I decided to. I decided to just get out and dance, never having danced before, and got a lot of smiles with people and danced with a handful of girls. This one girl seemed interested in me and tried getting me to do a dance move with her but I couldn't understand her because it was so loud, I was a bit drunk, and kept messing up. She tried talking to me but I could hardly hear her because it was so loud and the only thing I remember from the conversation was her asking if I was ok. I ended up moving on from her because the energy didnt feel right for some reason or it was just weird because i kept asking her what she was saying, i cant remember exactly. My friend showed up later and said I was dancing really good and a lot of girls looked interested in me and he was confused why I didnt try to get anyone's number. I think I had a good time because I wasnt focused on trying to meet girls and I just wanted to drink and vibe. I feel like if my goal was to meet girls i would've come off as creepy as I was dancing by myself most of the time with random people for like 20 seconds at a time. My goal was just to dance with people that matched my energy and at the time, maybe it was the alcohol, I wasnt picking up on a girl being really interested. If people turned their bodies away from me or stopped looking towards me I just moved to dance with other people. Is there something I should do differently in the future to connect with people? I know clubs aren't great places to converse, maybe i was subconsciously afraid of rejection and just a bit drunk

I have many friends, and some friends I know will be there for me if I need them and that I can deeply trust. However, I can't help but still feel so lonely because even though I have many friends I value, I wish I had a *best* friend. My best friend is my boyfriend, which I'm terribly lucky for. I wish I had a girl best friend. I've been noticing more and more that all of my friends have best friends, even the ones who are married or have been in a relationship for years. In my friend group everyone seems to have their priorities and friends theyre closer with, and I'm not like that with anyone. I wish I had a girl best friend or that couple who are best friends with me and my boyfriend so we could hang out together, all my friends have that with each other or to different people. I just want a friend I can have a deeper connection with and know they're my top 1 and I'm their top 1 too. It seems like if I want that I need to meet new people because everyone in my life already has that place occupied by someone. I just haven't met anyone whom I completely connect and identify with I guess. I just don't know how to go about that but I crave that kind of friendship so much

Hard to have just general conversations in public with anyone anymore. Saw a guy say to a girl " how are you young lady" he got banned from the bar because she says I'm they them etc. Idk if they had previous encounters but manager was involved n he got kicked out

I'm very meek and lately, I've been trying to put myself out there more, and improve my social skills. I'm in therapy, and my therapist has given me ideas how to practice what to say, and how to act.

That's all fine in-theory, but when I'm actually put in social situations, it's as if my brain goes into 'autopilot' mode and goes totally blank, I can't think of any of those practices whatsoever, and usually I just make an ass out of myself, or don't say anything. I've spoken to my therapist about it, but they're just saying things like: 'You gotta practice!' but how am I supposed to practice if I'm out of my head??

I feel helpless to fix the problem, like I'm completely out of control in social situations. Has anyone else beat that problem, and if so, how??

I am going to start a new school (actually not a school but kind of like sa study course).I just want to be popular and have a lot of friend.I was always wondered about those people who everyone knows and friends with them.Like how they're so popular among others? Everyone likes them, everyone wants to hang out with them...Can someone explain to me what type of social qualities I should have? (sorry for bad English)

I’m almost 27 and was recently diagnosed with NVLD (non-verbal learning disorder), which helped me understand why social situations have always been harder for me. Growing up I struggled with bullying and feeling excluded, and in college things didn’t improve. I never quite found my place and often felt like an outsider.

Looking back, I realize I made some mistakes in how I handled it. I became avoidant and would often go home on weekends — at first because of a terrible random roommate situation my first year (I was getting like 4 hours of sleep), and later because I was too bored and lonely with no one to hang out with. Over time, I resigned myself to just being on my own. I did learn to enjoy solo activities like going to the movies, museums, and traveling, but deep down I always wished I had found like-minded people who celebrated me rather than shunned me.

Now that I’ve finished my Master’s and moved back home, I want to do things differently. I don’t want to fall into the same avoidant patterns I had in college. I’ve been attending random events, joined a book club, and I’m going to a graduate school alumni mixer soon. Since my graduate school has a much larger alumni network than my undergrad, I want to make the most of it.

My question is: how can I successfully try to make friends and hit it off with people moving forward, given my history of social struggles? How do I balance being proactive without feeling needy, and avoid repeating the same isolating patterns from college?

Any advice or personal experiences would mean a lot.

sometimes when friends or family complain about their situations (like money, school, or family issues), i do feel bad for them and i know they’re trying in their own way. but from my side, it often feels like either they’re not doing enough or maybe handling it the wrong way.

the thing is, i don’t actually know their full situation. even if they explain, it’s not always the whole picture. so i can’t exactly tell them what the “right” solution is. plus i’ve got my own stuff to manage too, so i don’t wanna take on the role of fixer.

but i also don’t wanna come across as cold or dismissive when they vent. sometimes i honestly don’t know what to say, and it gets a bit draining hearing the same complaints over and over.

any tips on what to say (or not say) so i can still be supportive without feeling mentally exhausted myself? thank you

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everytime I speak in front it's either i always stutter,empty minded, or It sound like my word or going back to my mouth I need to fix this. How am I supposed to grow any advice?

Blah

This is in a group chat with 4 people

-friend B: (posts insta link to activity specific to my city).

-me: cool, i have a friend who does this activity.

-friend A: oh yeah, i’ve done this before. Would love to go again sometime haha

So, it sounds like she(friend A) sort of wants to be invited out? But the thing is i’ve invited her out like 3-4 times and she’s said no every time, so i don’t really invite her out anymore. Idk, am i misreading all of this?

(Just to be clear this is all totally platonic. No other motives. She’s fun/interesting. I just like hanging out with her. That’s why i invited her out so many times)

I have absolutely terrible rbf and even my regular facial expressions look angry and upset when I feel the exact opposite. I’m also pretty mellow and low energy so I feel like this causes a lot of one sided tension with friends and people in general so idk what to do about it. I’m pretty open to talk to and I think when put in the situation I socialize fine but even my smiles look fake sometimes when they’re genuinely lot. Idk what to do about this to make people feel more comfortable especially with people that need extra reassurance cuz it’s genuinely not on purpose

All three of my roommates I am really cool with and there chill with me. But the thing is all of their friends from HS are all at the same college we all go to. All my roommates went to same HS. But it’s now been the first week and I haven’t really made any new friends or nothing. I go to a commuter school it’s basically dead on The weekends but the weekdays there are a lot of people here. I just feel hopeless like this year is gonna go bad

So basically if i change schools and just wanna get friends how? What do i say or do😭😭

Hi, I'm a 40 year old man, Neurodivergent with quite a few comorbidities, severe mixed ADHD and quite a few autistic traits (I think I'm on the edge of the spectrum.

So my problem is that I can't make friends or friends in real life.

Before when I took party drugs (LSD, Amphetamines, MDMA or Mescaline) I had no problem making new acquaintances, some of whom became real friends or friends even though they ended up losing touch since I haven't been going out for a while, I lost their phone numbers because I broke my phone or changed my number, etc...

Since I stopped going to parties I am no longer as sociable and my Troubles play a big part in that too.

I am incapable of making real friends in real life because I am ashamed of what I am, of my life choices because I am into crack (well free base), Ritalin online 1 week a month where I take my treatment for a month and sleep for a week.

Despite the fact that I take 2/3 showers a day, I can't brush my teeth and it's a real problem because with the products and the lack of oral hygiene I have almost no teeth on the upper part of the jaw but I finally decided to take charge and go to a dentist to sort all that out.

But the shame of all that is there to make me friends or even a girlfriend.

Even the fact of my Autistic Disorders and traits as well as my ADHD prevents me from being myself.

I went to see a Neuropsychologist where I did tests for 1h30, I during the tests despite my Neurodivergence had results above the average for Neurotypical but when it comes to social relationships, interpersonal understanding and everything that goes with it I am well below average and I don't know what to do.

Do you have any advice to give me so that I can at least make friends and succeed in maintaining these relationships because that's a big problem too?!

I have a friend who is an alcoholic. I call him a friend because I like talking to him and we usually have fun together. I call him an alcoholic because he calls him self that and has been to treatment, though relapses.

I feel like he has started to cross a line with me. He has started trying to get me to buy him alcohol, like saying he will make us a meal and asks if I can bring the beer. Or even just flat out asking to borrow money.

He also has started messaging me sexual things (we're both straight men) but then apologizes and says he was drunk. Like he's asked to swap explicit photos for example. I've tried pointing out to him he shouldn't use his alcoholism is an excuses but he says people who think that are ignorant and don't know how hard addition is.

I feel like something needs to change. Should I tell him something like "I'm not going to hangout with you until you tell me what you're going to do differently so this won't happen again", or would that be too aggressive?

I’ve never been huge into sports. I have always had the hockey, baseball and basketball teams I would root for and want to win because my friends were fans and I am from the state that they are based in. I have been to games and have actually enjoyed watching them as well as on TV.

But as far as consistently following the player stats and trades and all that, I have never found much interest and for the life of me I cannot understand how so many guys are so interested in this to the extent that they are. When my coworkers and friends go into detailed conversations and discussions about this stuff I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about and I always end up becoming awkwardly silent.

Is there even any point at my age to concern myself about this? Is there a way to become more knowledgeable in this subject? I know that I shouldn’t care so much about what people think regarding my interests but a part of me does think that an interest in sports can be considered very beneficial to concepts manhood, competitiveness as well as values and teamwork… and having a young son I also think that an interest in this could benefit him as well.

I had a weird thing happen recently. I work in a department store. I recently had a hospital visit
regarding something. The doctor there knew me from my workplace as i had seen her there for
well over a year. Upon opening the door and seeing it was her i was completely surprised as
i never expected to see her there and find out what she did for a living. After a appointment
she said i can now wave to you and say hello when i walk into your department store.

When she walked in i said hi as i was always based at the entrance. When she walked in i was
sort of ignored in a weird way, which surprised me. The second time i was flat out ignored.
Obviously there was a bit of a boundary present which is kind of confusing and people shouldn't
say things like ''i can wave to you now'' if you want a boundary between your professional
and normal life. My initial interpretation of the interaction would be we would say hello
maybe once or twice before it went back to nothing but i was very surprised to just be
ignored twice. There is no romantic intent whatsoever. Its more of a social awkward moment.

My conclusion is she didn't mean it at all and just wanted to keep her professional life
seperate. My plan going forward is to simply do the same, but still it was kind of a weird
reaction. Thoughts?

I'm 33 and never really went to the bar before. Is it a good place to meet people? Honestly I don't drink, but I'd love to play pool.

Is it a good place to meet men as well? Because I heard a lot of single men go to bars. A friend from years ago even wanted to go to the bar with me before to "find a boyfriend" for me. My ideal guy isn't a big drinker, but I wonder if single guys go there in hopes of getting a girlfriend.

I never went. I always heard bars were bad places where all the weirdos go, so I was scared. Plus I didn't drink. If I don't drink is the bar a waste of time?

I’ve gotten way better at talking to people face to face and I feel more confident now but texting still feels weird to me. I don’t know if I’m supposed to keep it short and straight to the point (which feels kind of dry) or if I should try to be funny and use emojis. I honestly have no idea what’s normal. Any tips?