r/StudentLoans • u/babyqueensakura • 4d ago
I don't want to go into student debt, but my parents won't listen
Hi everyone, I am new to reddit!
I (22 year old female) am in a tricky position. I am a student in college (going into my second year), and I am worried about student debt, but my parents won't listen to my concerns. To give you some context, my mom is very strict on the belief that I'll only be successful with a degree in my life. However, she isn't concerned on the fact that I'll be in student debt by the time I graduate (the only way we have been paying for school so far is with student loans), and considering how the job market is currently, and how many people are still struggling to land a stable job, even years after they graduate, I am wanting to drop out. I never wanted to attend a four year university in the first place, due to expenses.
I had actually expressed interest in wanting to go to beauty school since I have a good talent for nails and want to grow my skills there, but my mom had told me that I'd be going backwards if I go down that path, and won't be successful in life if I don't obtain a degree. She thinks the loans we've been taking out is a good thing since she thinks I'll have a successful career right after I graduate, and says that my stepdad was able to get loan forgiveness and has little left to pay back. But that was only because he's a teacher and was able to qualify for loan forgiveness, and I'm not going into a career that can qualify me for loan forgiveness, hence I still would need to pay everything back and I don't want to be drowning in debt because of it. Here's where things get more complicated. My mother had it set that since I am attending a four year university, I don't have to pay for rent at home, and that if I drop out because I don't want to go into debt, then I need to start paying for rent.
It gets more complicated since I am my elderly grandma's primary caregiver and we recently applied for government assistance, therefore, I'd be getting paid to care for my grandma, which is why I haven't applied for jobs in the meantime since grandma is my main priority. I really could use some advice on what to do here. No matter how hard I try to explain, my mom still won't budge, and I am at my breaking point.
Edit: I had forgot to mention some details in my original post. I am majoring in fashion, and the school I'm going to, is Columbia College Chicago, which has been facing a lot of issues from financial mismanagement, to faculty and program layoffs in recent years. As a result, the school had been unnecessarily overcharging me and many other students as well. Considering my age, I had actually attended a different institution after high school, but after a year and a half there, I dropped out, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I proceeded to taking a year off and working a part time job, all while trying to figure out what to do next. That's when I thought about what I liked and thats when I first thought about beauty school, and like I mentioned previously, my mom wouldn't allow it. Therefore, it only felt like I had to please her expectations, so I decided to go with the other option of fashion school, since I am pretty good with sewing. I wish I had done further research into ccc and if I knew then the issues they were going through, I would have never attended in the first place.
In terms of the loans, we had taken out about 45k so far. My mom had cosigned the loans. I have received around 4k in scholarships and awards, but it still wasn't enough, hence why we are taking out loans, and it has me worried about future debt. Even the payment plan options the school has to offer are in the thousands that we currently can't afford.
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u/kentifur 4d ago
I don't see any numbers. You are basing this all on a feeling.
You need facts.
What is yearly cost. What is grant. What is loan.
What is the roi on your major.
Facts
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u/Trumystic6791 4d ago
Exactly. I need to know details: what university is it, how much student debt a year and in total after 4 years, how much is tuition, how much is room& board, what is OPs major, do you have work study or have a part time job and what is it, what is starting salary for role OP wants post college with that major, how many internships has OP had.
I also want to know what the nail plan is, what is the nail related degree OP wants, how much does it cost, how long does it take, how much debt total for nail related course of study, whats the starting salary for nail related role.
OPs post is about feelings when this is a math problem. I cant give advice on this situation without these details. Also I dont understand why this concern wasnt ever discussed before between OP and their mom. Typically, when a parent or someone else is paying your bills and you are living in their house that you have to follow their rules and edicts. It sucks but thats how it is. If you dont want to follow those rules you need to get your own place, find a job and pay your own bills generally.
Your mother comes from a good place that a college degree can be worth it even with debt but it all depends on if your degree sets you up with a clear career path that has good pay and stability. Getting a bachelors in nursing is very different then getting a bachelors in English or Psychology. Without preparation and at an average school the nursing degree will lead you to a good career while the English degree may lead you to working at Starbucks.
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u/call_me_ping 3d ago
To give OP a little credit, they're only 22 and at least trying to figure it out by coming here. Practical conversations with facts/numbers sometimes need to balanced with feeling, especially during conversations when the opposing party (OP's mom) may not be open to listening to such reasons
Not that I don't agree that some number crunching is helpful and could be used to either persuade mom here or help with OP's decision on what would improve their QOL.
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u/gimli6151 4d ago edited 4d ago
We have no idea who is right or who is wrong because we don’t know the cost of the college, or the salary of your career if you go to college.
Obviously your mom is right on average: People with a college degree earn 1.2 million more on average than people without a college degree. That’s why people take out when large student loans. And it’s 4 million dollars more with a professional degree.
A beauty career is not likely to outperform a college degree unless you get a rare opportunity. The average salary for a beauty career is $40,000, which is $25,000 less than the average STARTING salary for a college degree ($65,000).
There is also another benefit to a college degree unless that won’t feel like it will matter now but it will make a HUGE difference when you are older. The jobs you unlock with these degrees tend to be more flexible when you get older and have health issues and are less physically demanding on your old body. They often offer greater flexibility if you decide you want to work from home or take time off to raise kids.
It sounds like you want something practical. I would suggest you propose a compromise to your mom: you focus more of your classwork on internships and skill oriented practical classes (eg bachelor in nursing) that leads you the opportunity for immediate job placement in specific fields. Don’t underestimate the power of your alumni network.
Your mom is also giving you a ridiculously good deal on no rent in order to encourage you to do what is in your own interest. On a personal level, whatever you do, I would offer to give her some rent or other help while you are living with her.
That’s the best advice I can give you without knowing your major, university, yearly college costs, student loan amount, city, career interests.
The backup suggestion would be to take inexpensive community college courses to keep your loans low.
You always have the option of specializing in beauty later and doing it as a side gig to make extra $$$.
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u/Rice-Fragrant 3d ago
It highly depends on the degree... some college degrees don't pay $65k starting, especially if it's something liberal arts related, art history etc... I knew a few college graduates who had undesirable degrees working at jobs that didn't even require a degree in the 1st place, some even got overlooked for promotions because they didn't have either the experience or were seen as "entitled."
Add the debt and this could potentially end very very badly if a graduate did not develop marketable skills.
At my particular workplace, they dropped the degree requirement to work as a supervisor (they make about $60k-$80k here in an average cost of living city). The company truck drivers (only a GED required) makes over $100k average, and after factoring zero student loan debt, mathematically take home MORE than the veterinarians and managers we work with.
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u/gimli6151 3d ago
My point is even the lowest paid college majors, 45K starting salary, match the average overall salary for a cosmetologist. And typically offer Away better benefits worth thousands to tens of thousands make, and security on top of that.
If she was debating between electrician and religious studies major then I would be saying something different. But it’s between cosmetically vs random unidentified major at the moment, and random unidentified major will outperform cosmetology on average even it’s a low paying major.
But that’s why I asked her for more details to give her more tailored input.
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u/Rice-Fragrant 3d ago
Agreed... unfortunately too many people make unfounded assumptions like thinking "any degree" is worth getting in debt for and the math clearly doesn't support this.
IMHO, the schools need to change their costs based on actual ROI of what the major/degree is worth in the working world.
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u/Umm_JustMe 3d ago
"IMHO, the schools need to change their costs based on actual ROI of what the major/degree is worth in the working world."
I agree with this sentiment, but I think it should be the student loan program that adjusts based on degree ROI. If a school charges $250k for an Art Appreciation degree and someone wants to pay that amount, fine, but I don't think taxpayers should be footing the bill.
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u/Aggressive_Ad6463 4d ago
This. All of this. Including the nursing. Honestly I've done soooo many sets of nails! Albeit most were due to cleaning out fecal matter, but stillllll🤣
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u/RaynbowUnikorn 4d ago
They told me the average starting salary would be $65k over 20 years ago when I finished my undergrad. It wasn’t true then either. This is the same argument being used over and over by the college business system. They are a business. Teachers aren’t starting at $65k but engineers might be. There are so few degrees that are worth it anymore.
No one is the average. But even IF these numbers are correct, going to community college first will in some states be free and in others, very low cost. There is no reason to live at home and go to a 4 yr university. The point is to network and be part of on campus groups. It’s who you know, not just what you know that gets you hired.
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u/TrooperCam 4d ago
Can confirm teachers aren't starting at 65k. I'm at a large, small city district and they just raised our starting salary for teachers to 59k.
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u/gimli6151 4d ago
Your starting salary of $59K for teachers in your area is a great example of what I am saying.
The average salary in beauty industry is $40K, but let’s say she starts there.
With 3% raises per year, that initial +19K is over $1,500,000 career difference in earnings (!!!!).
What would you do with 1.5 million?
Being a teacher also has way better job security.
And way better medical and retirement benefits.
You highlight strong example for why she should choose teaching over beauty, in terms of finances.
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u/Rice-Fragrant 3d ago
That "calculation" didn't even factor in the DEBT!
How about this for some math... we have 2 people, one named Bob who is a HIGHSCHOOL DROP OUT but became an apprentice at a local plumbing company. He only has a GED, and after finishing his 2 year apprenticeship becomes a licensed plumber... in Boston they make about $80k.
Bob's former classmate, Tom, was accepted into Boston University, but took out student loans from day one... after graduation he gets into Boston University medical school and takes out more loans. Tom graduates and does 3 years in residency, then gets a job as an attending physician making a median of $300k but with MASSIVE student loans.
Guess who actually has a bigger 401k assuming that both Bob and Tom put 15% of their gross income away ever since earning their 1st paycheck?
If you know how expensive Boston University is, you might be shocked on the answer.
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u/gimli6151 3d ago
It doesn’t factor in debt for cosmetology vs her college. That’s why I asked her for more details as said we could give her more personalized feedback based on her sharing more relevant details.
Why are you brining up plumbers? She is weighing cosmetology vs unknown major with unknown costs.
If the calculation is plumbing vs liberal sturdies, the calculations change.
Stock investment is a good things but if we don’t know if she can invest in stocks. She needs student loans which suggests she doesn’t have a ton of discretionary income to invest.
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u/Rice-Fragrant 3d ago
She's an adult who needs to sit down and do the math and research otherwise she will end up another cautionary tail.
The plumber example is just an example of a good paying blue collar job... I could have used an air traffic controller for an example of a job requiring a degree but an AA as opposed to a 4yr degree and ATCs get payed 6 figures too. Lots of women in that field, same as dental hygienist etc that make on average $80k with an associate degree... and with good a paying AA degree she could choose to continue her studies to get a 4yr degree down the road.
She has options and doesn't have to blindly throw herself into student loan indebtedness.
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u/gimli6151 3d ago
Totally agree - if she was saying dental hygienist instead of cosmetology then I would totally support her plan.
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u/TrooperCam 4d ago
Teachers have been averaging 2 percent raises and they did not give a COLA raise this year, just what crumbs the legislator told them to. But, teaching is still pretty stable.
The other option she has is to join the military and use the GI Bill to get whatever training she wants post service. Get paid and schooling. May not want to do that with the grandmother issue.
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u/gimli6151 4d ago
The stats I’m finding online for teacher raises are much higher than that for the past three years. But probably more important than whether it is 2, 3, 4 percent are all the benefits that are worth thousands or tens of thousands of dollars over standard cosmetology job.
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u/Rice-Fragrant 3d ago
In the south east, in my suburban town, teachers start at about $45-$50k... I knew Janitors who didn't finish highschool and had criminal records, making more than some teachers.
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u/Lin_Lion 3d ago
I started at 75,000. So this is dependent on where you are.
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u/Rice-Fragrant 3d ago
Especially factoring the debt and the cost of living... for example $75k in a high cost of living city is barely threading water and it only gets worst once you factor in debt repayments.
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u/gimli6151 4d ago
It does matter what “they say” to you or who “they” are. I am referring to the actual analyses of college graduate vs high school graduate income. College graduates are currently +$1,200,000 on average.
In my comment in notes that $65K is the current average, and at the end I couldn’t be more specific unless she shared her major, university,career, etc.
But we don’t need to know those details to know that on average when the lowest paying majors will on average lead to a higher average salary than beauty industry.
For example, even Sociology majors have an average STARTING salary of over $50K, which is higher than the overall CAREER average of $40K someone in the beauty industry! Across a 40 year career, with just average 3% raises, that initial $10K difference WELL OVER $750,000 difference lifetime even if she started her beauty career at $40K. Compound interest is a beast. And likely the difference is DRAMATICALLY greater than that once you consider those jobs will likely have better health insurance and retirement plans
As TrooperCam points out, the starting salary of a teacher someone in their area is $59K. If she starts her career +20K as a teacher instead of beauty industry, she is well over $1,500,000 lifetime gains with just 3% raises per year.
People need to do the math on their majors and their alternative career options. Some careers without a college degree will match or beat the average with a college degree. But she isn’t picking one of those careers.
There are TONS of reasons to start at a four year college and take advantage of the opportunities not available at community colleges. Community colleges are good too, but the difference in tuition cost is not the only factor to weigh.
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u/RaynbowUnikorn 4d ago
The starting salary for a teacher with a bachelor’s degree is under $40k in most areas, especially cities and rural areas, which are the only places actually hiring teachers. There is not a teacher shortage in desirable districts. Unless you’re a special education teacher, then you may find something better. I have no idea where a sociology major is getting paid that amount either but I will trust you. If you can graduate with only $30k in undergrad debt, then it’s a good ROI.
You’re right though, we don’t have enough info to answer in this case.
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u/gimli6151 4d ago
The average starting salary for a teacher nationwide is 46.5K and the average salary overall is 72K.
But definitely varies by school and location.
Entry level cosmetologist is going to be $15-$20 per hour and they are on hourly pay without salary, benefits, etc. For the job overall, the average salary is just 43K.
The OP might have other reasons for dropping out of college, but financially trading college for beauty school is rarely going to be a winning move.
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u/RaynbowUnikorn 4d ago
Thanks for the info. I agree that money may not be the bottom line in this situation, although debt is a concern. Uni isn’t for everyone but neither is beauty school.
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u/RaynbowUnikorn 4d ago
I just don’t see what advantages OP is gaining since she’s living at home. If you’re not going to be part of on campus organizations, get to know your professors and put in the effort to network, then community college is a better place to start.
I am forever grateful for the connections I made while at my uni! There’s a strong alumni network and I got my first teaching job with a great suburban district because I did my student teaching there and another teacher was not only an alumni but in my sorority. That made the difference in landing a teaching job that started at $50k (with a masters) 20 years ago and having to take half to work in an urban school.
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u/gimli6151 4d ago
Students who live at home can be involved in research labs, campus organizations, student government, sports, etc
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u/RaynbowUnikorn 3d ago
Absolutely. It doesn’t sound like that’s happening though if she is also caring for her grandmother. That in itself is a full time job and it sounds like she is getting paid to do that through a government program. I’m not sure what that is.
It’s also a bit harder to fit in and find your people when you’re older than everyone else and attending as a non-traditional student. It can absolutely be done. I’m just wondering if it is in this situation.
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u/gimli6151 3d ago
Those are definitely challenges. I am assuming she’s doing care during the day and a lot of activities are after classes and weekend. But there are so many unknowns
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u/eduloanshark 4d ago
It seems like your mother is offering you a fair deal. She's doing you a favor by steering you towards a 4-year degree. Beauty schools are a corrupt mess.
https://tcf.org/content/report/cosmetology-training-needs-a-make-over/
As far as student loan debt goes, not all debt is created equal. Yeah, it sucks taking on debt and then later repaying it, but there is a very big difference between taking out $30K for an undergraduate degree in business and $130K for a graduate degree in Mesopotamian Interpretations of Taylor Swift Lyrics or some BS like that. One of those situations is manageable. The other is not.
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u/RaynbowUnikorn 4d ago
Seriously? Mesopotamian Interpretations of Taylor Swift Lyrics? You could just say psychology or philosophy. No one is getting a good ROI with just an undergraduate degree in either of those areas. Not many areas of study are worth the cost of college these days. Unless you start at community college and then switch to finish your BA/BS.
Not all beauty schools are created equally but they cost significantly less and may actually be a better ROI. It depends what additional skills OP decides to acquire. I agree that you need to do your homework when it comes to these kinds of schools. But a 4 year degree is NO guarantee of a job, especially in business. MBA’s aren’t getting hired right now, so how is someone with just a BS and no experience getting hired? You still need experience, strong recommendations and ultimately a resume that can get past AI systems to a human being to even get that first round interview. It still comes down to who you know. A strong alumni network and being part of on campus groups will get you farther than living at home and just going to classes.
If you insist on a 4 yr degree, at least do the first two years at community college.
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u/a_girl_has_no_nameee 4d ago
If your mom is going to help you pay the loans then I don't see the harm. If not, then it's your decision and it will be made worse if you're getting a degree in something you hate just to have a job you hate. What degree are you going for/ what are your career goals? Is it something that is realistic and will actually earn you a wage that will pay the loans? If not, I'd drop out and regroup. Go to community College for your general education and save a ton of money. Also, cosmetology is a great idea. I have friends who do hair and make more than their husband's or boyfriends who have union jobs. But you're also sold employed so you need to plan and save for your own retirement and get your own medical.
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u/vgscreenwriter 4d ago
It's your life and education. Unless they are paying for it, they don't have a say.
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u/justwannabeleftalone 4d ago
She lives in their home and presumably doesn't make enough to live on her own since she mentioned being her grandma's caregiver. Therefore she either complies or has to figure out how to pay rent and other expenses.
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u/babyqueensakura 4d ago
Me, my parents, and grandma all live together. Grandma has always been living with us ever since I was born, an now-a-days, I am her primary caregiver.
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u/mcmurrml 4d ago
What do you mean we have been paying for college. Please answer a couple of important questions. We can give you good advice without knowing. Whose name is on the loans? Are you in state college? What are you majoring in? I get the feeling you really don't want to be in college. If that is how you feel that's ok. Just say that. No t everyone wants to go to college.
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u/Rice-Fragrant 3d ago
I highly recommend you take as much college credits (the mandatory general stuff) at an affordable community college. This would help lower the over all costs... also you mother is totally wrong in ignoring the impact of student loans etc... I have seen it negatively affecting even people who were pharmacist, veterinarians and even doctors. Debt is not something to take lightly.
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u/Mindinatorrr 3d ago
Some debt is ok. Community college. Keep it as low as you can. I personally wouldn't go over 30k, idk what that number is for you. Get at least an associates.
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u/lunchypoo222 4d ago
Perhaps if your mom is so insistent on you attending a 4 year, she can get a parent plus loan and be the one to pay for it. You’re making it clear that you don’t want the debt and it is up to you to sign for that debt (or not) if they are being taken out in your name. It’s also up to you to attend or not attend college. It’s a very personal decision that no one here can give you the best advice for because it’s just sort of a live and learn kind of thing. Whether or not that will work out for you in terms of job availability and the economy is a matter of time passing and you finding out.
But again, if she is so insistent, she can take on that debt while you’re being explicit in your intention not to pay that debt if she chooses to take it out in her name for your benefit. That sounds hypothetically harsh, but it’s potentially a good way to turn the tables on her.
In terms of her holding the rent piece over your head, well, that’s just something she can do. It is pretty manipulative but easily falls into the category of ‘my house, my rules’ bs. If you’ve committed yourself to being your grandmother’s primary caregiver, you could consider having that caregivers stipend going toward your rent either at your mom’s place or somewhere else. Maybe you should assess whether that is a responsibility you really want to take on at your age and especially with your mom holding all this over your head in such a suffocating way.
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u/babyqueensakura 4d ago
It has been a hard situation. I only chose to be my grandma's primary caregiver due to the fact that other family members don't want to take on the responsibilities and they just do so little for her. It had unfortunately caused tensions in the family and it breaks my heart. Plus my grandma has been there more for me than my own mom, so I want to give back for everything she has done for me.
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u/lunchypoo222 4d ago
Oh hun. I’m so sorry your grandmother is in that position not to have the full support of your whole family. You’re a good person for showing up in that way for her. When I made that comment about whether or not you should be taking that on, it was with the assumption that your mom/ others were completely capable of being caregivers, but I’m reminded that that is not always the case for everyone. It still certainly colors the whole thing in a certain way considering your decision to go to college is somehow weaved in there and that having to pay rent is added to the pile. Maybe establishing with her what a reasonable monthly rent would be for you is something you can think about. That way you can still be close to your grandmother but not be struggling financially just because you chose not to go into debt for school.
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u/EnthusiasmMurky742 4d ago
Sorry you're in this situation. In today's job market, unless you have a job lined up that requires a degree, there isn't a point in getting a degree. It really is a cliche, but how many baristas have degrees?
If you have a talent for nails, pursue that. Maybe you'll find you also have a talent for business and will eventually open your own salon, who knows. But to go into debt on the promise of the possibility of maybe getting a good job isn't worth it. FYI, I have a PhD in molecular biology.
Finally, as to your family asking you to pay rent, ask them if that's what rich people do? Making you pay rent doesn't teach you anything you don't already know and just makes your life harder. If they want you to succeed take care of your gma, go to beauty school and get your license, and when you've saved enough and learned enough, open your own shop!
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u/Go_Corgi_Fan84 4d ago
Is there any money in nails? Nail salons are basically on every street in my midsize city and those shops are often fairly empty. I’ve become close to my wedding hair/make up artist and that lady hustles to make money … she’s likely doing 100 hours + some weeks and for a long time she was also bartending
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u/justwannabeleftalone 4d ago
How much in student loans and what career are you going into? I obtained student loan debt for college and it was worth it. It took me a while to get my first job but after that, I have no regrets about taking on debt with the caveat that it's not too much debt and you get a degree with earning potential.
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u/RaynbowUnikorn 4d ago
Hi.. and welcome to this subreddit. It would be helpful to know a little more such as how much you already owe in student loans from your first year and now starting your second. You mentioned government assistance and being paid to be your grandmother’s caregiver. I hope this means you don’t have to provide your parents’ financials on FAFSA and are getting need based aid.
If you do drop out, you will need to pay back the loans you already have. There are income based options, so don’t panic. You can also switch to community college, beauty school or pursue nursing as someone mentioned. That will add to your loans but keep them in deferment. Some of your loans may be accruing interest. It depends if they are subsidized or unsubsidized loans. Also, are your loans federal or private? I’m hoping federal if your step-dad is a teacher and familiar with PSLF. It also depends on if you had to provide your parents’ financials on FAFSA or are able to only provide your own, as an older, non-traditional student.
Listen, you are still young and have your life ahead of you. I’m old enough to be your mom so I understand wanting what you think is best for your child. Education was super important in my family so I bought the “college is the only way to a successful life” lie. This point of view has proven to be quite narrow minded.
I’m not so sure that doing nails will be a forever thing but as long as you keep up-skilling and can pivot into a different role down the line, you can find a way to do what you enjoy. Enjoying your work makes the grind a whole lot easier!
Is your mom going to take rent from you and give it back when you’re ready to move out or open your own business? Many parents do this. Also, as an alternative, you mentioned you are your grandmother’s caregiver. Can you live with her or does she already live with your family? I loved my grandmother very much but wasn’t able to care for her in her last years. I regret that very much. I’m glad to hear that she has been there for you and you are able to, in turn, be there for her. Caregiving is a tough job and going to school full-time on top of that can be a recipe for burn out. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, too.
I advise you to try to focus on what you want your ideal life to look like. Where will you live? What will your day to day look like when you’ve achieved what you set out to do? Then think about what it will look like if you follow your mom’s plan for you. Are you a people pleaser? Do you worry about confrontation or not meeting your mom’s expectations? Just a quick side note, my mom pressured me to get into a great university, then to get a job in my field, ultimately supported my decision not to go to medical school but instead get a masters in education (that was a hard conversation and she wasn’t fully supportive). Again, pressure to land a contracted position with a great district. Then came the pressure to get married. Followed by pressure to have a baby. I checked all the boxes and exceeded expectations the entire time but then I hit a wall. Thankfully before I had any kids. I hated my life, my husband finished grad school and decided to take a job in another state!!! So now I’m supposed to do what he says? Of course. It’s how I was raised. My career or his? I walked away from my career and a few years later, I ultimately walked away from him, too. I resented everyone but had only myself to blame for the choices I made.
It took a long time but I made a life that I want to live. I welcomed a little girl into my life when I was 35! I homeschooled her through 6th grade and now I outsource with online classes. I also teach part-time online, which I love. It’s my curriculum, my way without teaching to tests. I make what I would be making if I were still at my previous contracted position, as if I had never left and I’m not working 60 hr work weeks. I also just made my 300th student loan payment. It’s not over yet, but it’s closer. There was no PSLF or IBR when I started my career. Things changed, life happened, things changed again and we’re still waiting to see what’s going to happen with student loans.
The one thing I can say for sure is that life is changing faster now than it was before. AI is here to stay and we have yet to fully experience all the ways that it may or may not disrupt systems. There will be jobs in 10 years that don’t even exist yet. My job is to prepare kids for a very uncertain future. I would only recommend college if you can afford it or if there’s a good ROI for your area of study. So, engineering, medical school (including PA programs and nursing) and maybe some areas of the tech sector. An MBA is a dime a dozen as are lawyers. So unless you really WANT to follow business or law, I wouldn’t recommend it, especially considering that you will need more than an undergraduate degree. Someone mentioned that your mom should pay with Parent Plus Loans. That’s also an option. If she wants this and she pays, then you have to do what she says. Just like if you want control to go to beauty school, you must pay rent. Always remember that the person paying is in the power position! You’re paying for these loans, you hold the power, not your mother. I realize that it’s more complicated than that since you do live there and want to care for your grandmother. Life is short. What does your grandma say about all of this? I think if you spoke with her about her life, what made her happy, any regrets she has, anything she would have done differently, her proudest moments, you may not only get to know her on a different level but also find the answers you’re seeking.
Stand up for yourself hunny and DM me if you want to chat more.
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u/Kairemgiabear 4d ago
Stay in school! It will all work out in the end. In the other hand, if you're using the worry of student loans to make this argument but truly hate being in college then get out. It's not for everyone. But get ready to pay Mom
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4d ago
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u/TrooperCam 4d ago
Could you be a live-in aide for your grandmother and move into their house? Would that allow you to save money and not be under your mom’s rules?
Doing nails is an admirable profession but it also comes with serious health risks and if you're on Nail Tok a lot of techs aren't making what they were even a few years ago. Nails and hair tend to be one among the first things people cut back on when money is tight.
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u/Comprehensive-Tea-69 4d ago
Who is technically taking out the loans- your mom or you? What is your major? What career would you plan to pursue with that major? What is the annual tuition at your school?
These are the questions we need answers for to give any feedback ☺️
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u/Legallyblonde977 4d ago
Look for scholarships. There's a lot of hidden ones out there. Also, if you can get your foot in the door at a corporation or something, a lot of places have tuition reimbursement.
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u/SeaweedWeird7705 4d ago
What subject are you studying? Some occupations have better career forecasts than others.
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u/Calm_Initial 4d ago
I don’t understand. Are they co-signing for your loans? How much is your cost per year of college?
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u/RhubarbNew4365 4d ago
You don't know what's gonna happen in 4-6 years. I went to college from 2019-2023 and dropped out twice. I'm book smart but I just hated the whole college environment, from paying money sitting in class for 4-6 hours, only to do 4-6 more hours of homework, just so I can fail the 1st test of the year and end up playing catchup. Plus when you graduate, unless your family is really rich or dirt poor (I'm talking below poverty not just poor) your gonna be screwed in debt for years to come. A lot of my peers graduated already, and since almost everyone is going to college now, it's a lot harder to find a job, especially if you want to live in a rural area.
So basically, the point being, If you have a set and square plan for the future that involves a degree, then go to college. If your heart isn't set on it, it's not worth taking out that much Debt for something you might hate.
I never once cheated in college because i thought it was wrong. But, for the amount of money you could be paying, and remembering dropping out and working 70 hour weeks to pay off 100k in debt just to end up where you were before you went to college, I can't really blame anyone for cheating.
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u/thecodemonk 4d ago
Since you didnt mention how far you are into your degree program, I'm going to guess you are at least in year 3 since you are 22 and most people start right out if high scool... being that far along, you should definitely not pivot to something else now. Finish what you started and deal with the debt after. Even if you quit, you are still going to have the loans you already took out. Quitting doesn't get rid of them. Additionally, a lot of beauty schools are more expensive than even doing community college, and the pay is usually super low unless you come into some amazing opportunity (meaning, won't happen).
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u/RaynbowUnikorn 3d ago
She just started her second year. So, she is not a traditional student who went straight from high school.
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u/thecodemonk 3d ago
I just read the edit, which wasn't there previously... since it's fashion school this makes it just as bad. That is one of those degrees that leads to a lifetime of restaurant jobs paying off college debt. I really hope it all works out for her...
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u/Ok_Relative1971 4d ago
Without knowing what you are majoring in it is hard to give good advice. If you dont know or are just going to college to get a degree majoring in a general liberal arts area....yes you are probably wasting money. But if your passion requires a college degree to get licensed (healthcare, accounting, engineering, etc) then it might be a good RTO.
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u/JustMe_627984 4d ago
You are SMART for being concerned about student loan debt. Like you said, you could be staring at an enormous amount money you have to pay back with interest after all is said and done. There are no guarantees of what the ROI would be (jobs, economic conditions, how life can unfold, etc.) and you're sitting there drowning in $200,000 worth of debt. Not saying to not have a loan that's manageable and comfortable augmented by financial aid and a job – but it's bodes well for you that you're even mature enough to think about the future like that. As someone who I'm sure is a lot older than you, your attitude is what I would tell my young self to have.
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u/babyqueensakura 4d ago
Thank you! It's been a really hard situation considering I'm more worried about debt than my own mother. It also doesn't help my mom is a narcissist and has always demanded so much from me throughout my whole life, and who is quite the hypocrite when it comes to the way she talks and handles her money.
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u/JustMe_627984 3d ago
Good thing is you're breaking the cycle, at least by a generation. Best to you!
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u/LevelWhich7610 4d ago
You just have to decide how you want to do this. If you want to do a degree in a beauty industry I wouldn't recommend taking loans out for that. I'm doing loans only because the employment garantee and wage will be more than enough to pay off my loans and live my life. If you were going for something particular like a registered nurse or a medical degree I'd suggest to get loans but also fit in some work still while you attend school.
Stay at home for free or cheap while you attend and you can pay down your loans or pay for classes out of pocket faster.
If you are hellbent on beauty industry I would suggest getting a part time job while you attend school and use that money to pay for your classes. If all you can do is 1 class a semester then do that.
I mean if you don't get a loan and still are attending school what are they gonna do about it? Force you to get loans? You're an adult now.
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u/West_Guidance2167 4d ago
You’re an adult, you don’t have to listen to your mother. But also, your mom is right. Can you all compromise? You’ll get a four year degree but maybe at a cheaper school? The financial mismanagement alone should be enough to convince her that it’s not a good place for you.
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u/babyqueensakura 3d ago
I even tried to explain to her about the school's issues, but being the stubborn woman she is, she doesn't want to listen.
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u/KimDuckUn 3d ago
Student Debt is not bad. Just pay the minimum payment after six months of graduation. And hopefully in few years job market will recover. So you can start paying off the debt. Student Debt is not bad its investment into your future.
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u/FlashySheepherder516 3d ago
Don’t major in fashion, major in accounting or nursing or another high demand/ high pay job. The fashion industry is saturated and you will be fighting for jobs with people who actually want that career.
In terms of cosmetology, you can do that now. Practice on your friends, start your business from home. Beauty school teaches nothing you can’t do via YouTube.
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u/call_me_ping 3d ago
Hi OP. I graduated with a 4-year degree and put myself through school while also working to send money back home. To do this, I was a full time student working 4 jobs. It broke me several times and by luck, care, and a few hospital bills later, I scraped by and got a diploma.
What I learned is that early 20s is full of trying new things and not liking many. I thought that any of my choices that didn't work out were total failures, but now I look at those times and realize "well, at least I learned something instead of repeating it or continuing down a miserale path."
I hope you can read this and know that life is both short but also long. Speak with financial advisors at your school, trusted elders (maybe outside your family), or even ask if you can chat with a stylist nearby while treating them to a little coffee or lunch
Talk to your school, but when you do, make your feelings known and how it is affecting your work. Build the muscles to listen to your own reasoning after you've learned and reviewed as much of your situation as possible: it's your life, love! I wish this internet hole full of strangers could do more than just offer words, but unless we fix the system we're left scrambling like this
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u/babyqueensakura 2d ago
I appreciate your words! I do really want to see change in this system because I truly believe college should be affordable for everyone regardless.
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u/Gracie153 2d ago
If you don’t follow what you know is “right for you” happiness and real success will not happen. I am not saying follow an stray ambition but follow what you know is right for you. If beauty career seems to be the right path then do it. You are the only one that will be living that life—no one else.
A lot of people change careers 2, 3 , 4 times. There is nothing wrong with changing your path later if a field in beauty turns out different than you imagined. But it could also lead you places you never imagined. When it comes to work, loving what you do is vital.
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u/Capable-Culture917 2d ago
That’s the problem. You are majoring in a field. Where it is a coin toss on you landing a decent paying job.
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u/Acceptable_Light_557 2d ago
Your childishness disgusts me
You are 22 years old. Make your own decisions regarding your financial future.
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u/Burning_needcream 2d ago
45k for FASHION?!!!!
Please, quit that major - Yesterday.
Getting a degree is cool - but please get a degree that exponentially increases your future earning potential - and fashion doesn’t typically work out well enough to pay back 45k in loans.
Does it matter if you have a degree if it’s not valuable?! No, it doesn’t.
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u/p3rchance 1d ago
Oh my god, listen to yourself, not your parents. You don't want to be bogged down with student debt, I PROMISE you. I didn't even read your whole message, but that's my final answer.
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u/Mushroom_Fly4499 4d ago
Beauty school is a bad idea. I know someone who took out loans to go to beauty school then ended up making barely any money for years cutting hair. This is not something you should consider as a career.
There is also the question, do you want to be a mom and have kids?
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u/This_Ad_8320 4d ago
I majored in accounting and have over 60K in debt. I’m not worried about it because of my salary. Student loans aren’t the end of the world.
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u/ninjacereal 4d ago
You lost me when you said you were 22 but then talked about your mommy like you were 6. What's the problem?
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u/averyrose2010 4d ago
This is going to be a little harsh.
You are 22. You are an adult. You are old enough to be making your own decisions. You need to start making your own decisions.
You don't want to be in college. You don't want student loan debt. Drop out. Don't let Mommy make the decision for you. It isn't her life.
You want to go to beauty school. Go! You can absolutely make a living doing hair and nails if you put in the work.