My original loan amounts totaled $53K for both undergrad and grad school. More than 20 years later, I still owe $122K. 🙃
During undergrad, I struggled after a sexual assault and had to transfer schools twice to escape my tormentors. Still, I managed to graduate cum laude and served as president of an honor society. I went straight into grad school and graduated during the Great Recession. My first “grown-up” job paid just $33K a year. I started repayment, but when the company went under, and I found myself unemployed for 18 months. Luckily, I was still living with my parents.
Eventually, I landed a $50K job and started repayment again. I moved into a tiny rent-controlled apartment, which felt like an absolute miracle in my high-cost city. I stayed five years at a job that paid me nothing more than stress; I got no raises and was constantly rejected from internal promotions. I’d interview at other companies and never get the role. In 2017, I finally landed a $70K role… only to be laid off six months later. I spent yet another 18 months unemployed.
In December 2019, I found a $90K job and finally had hope. Then my apartment building sold, and I had to look for a market-rate apartment. I now pay $2,500 for a one-bedroom. By the time I got my footing, the pandemic hit. Today, I earn $145K, which looks great on paper. But the reality? I rent because I can’t afford to buy a home. I take the bus and don’t own a car because of parking is $325/mo for both my apartment building AND my company’s building. And nearly everything in my apartment is secondhand from FB marketplace.
On top of financial stress, my family has been hit hard by health issues. My dad had open heart surgery and is also living with an inoperable brain tumor. My mom survived a heart attack requiring five stents. And as a cherry on top, I was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. I didn’t even qualify for a deferment because my treatment didn’t involve chemo or radiation. Never mind the endless lab work, medical bills, specialists, and medications.
This year, I just didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with my student loans. I was trying to stay alive! I defaulted on my loans and since they aren’t consolidated, my debt now shows up as 14 negative accounts. If I were to start repayment, I’d owe $800–$1,600 a month because of my income—with zero consideration for my medical bills or the cost of living where I am.
I’m usually a relentlessly positive, Pollyanna type, but I feel utterly defeated right now. I did everything “right.” I got my education, worked hard, pulled myself up by my bootstraps. And yet, I have nothing to show for it except debt, stress, and being a cancer survivor. If not for the world’s best parents and friends, I don’t know how I’d still be standing.
TL;DR — Did everything “right,” and still drowning. Borrowed $53K for undergrad/grad school. Twenty years later, after layoffs, low-paying jobs, health crises (mine and my parents), and living in a HCOL city and I still owe $122K. I make $145K now, but loan payments would be $800–$1,600/month, with no allowance for medical bills or housing costs.