r/Teetotal • u/[deleted] • May 11 '25
Dating as a teetotal
I'm a 21 year old guy and I'm at the stage of my life where I want a girlfriend. I don't drink, smoke, or use drugs as my own personal choice. I have been suggested to check out bars to meet people but I'm not sure if I should since I don't drink. It's not a deal breaker for me if the other person drinks in moderation but I myself refuse to drink alcohol. Should I still meet people in bars or is there another social setting that would be better for me?
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u/-Samg381- May 11 '25
This is an incredibly difficult path. I wish I had advice for you. Be prepared to get swarmed with "just get hobbies and friends". If only it were so easy. There is very little to choose from out there. Try not to become discouraged.
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u/AzzyBoy2001 💚 Mountain Dew 💚 (Fuck Prohibition) Jun 08 '25
The constant “just get hobbies” statement is so relatable.
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u/a_reindeer_of_volts May 12 '25
It took me way too long to realize the women at bars are not the kind of women I needed to meet.
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u/rosa_sally May 11 '25
People who don’t drink still go to bars (myself included). I would say they tend to go to nicer bars with good mocktails/alcohol free beer etc.
From experience, relationships are very difficult to navigate if the other person drinks (unless it’s very rare like a prosecco at a wedding or one cocktail at Christmas type of thing).
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u/MaximumEmpty6868 May 11 '25
You need to develop hobbies and the networking and socialization that comes from that will lead you to meeting women.
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u/AkashicGoat May 13 '25
Speaking from advice being a year teetotal and having had multiple hook ups in bars. Bars will give you only that, hook ups. Go for a walk on the park, approach a girl on a train, waiting for a train, on an airplane, out in the street etc. there’s so many ways. I refuse to use dating apps and have met the last 3 girls in an airplane, tube train and cafe respectively.
Bars are for hookups, with people hooked on the spirit of lust only. When they find out you don’t drink they feel insecure about themselves. Beware.
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u/Truly_Fake_Username Want to get high? Hike up a mountain. May 11 '25
Check meetup for activities you enjoy and go to those. Even if you don’t meet someone you’ll still have a good time.
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u/-Samg381- May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
Meetup activities
Take your pick:
- Supercharge your crypto portfolio with AI seminar
- Local moms meetup & pot luck
- Dad's night out 50 and up
- Mind-Body Tools to Transform Chronic Pain free class
- Women’s Wellness Nutrition Workshop
Get ready to meet a CUTIE
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u/PrototipoMCV May 19 '25
To be honest, in the last year and a half of sobriety I always found people that understood my choice. I'd Say continue to meet people in bars & pube, nowadays even where I come from (North East of Italy) there are in every bar plenty of alcohol free options.
Let me know how it is going and sorry for my english
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u/Show3it May 11 '25
Most women drink very moderately, but personally, I'd be wary of meeting a potential partner in a bar. Just mention being sober in your Tinder/Hinge profile.
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u/-Samg381- May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25
Most women drink very moderately
You must not be from the U.S., or if you are, must be talking about women 20 or more years older than OP.
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u/autizzy_ 19d ago
Go to the places where you think your future wife would spend time. Don't feel pressured to go somewhere where everyone will be drinking and try to convince you to drink
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u/LiveAcanthisitta7252 8d ago
Congrats on not drinking. I don't drink either. Proud teetotaller. I hate parties too 🤣a rare Brit I am I hope you manage to find someone 😊
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u/NavyJack May 11 '25
If you meet women in bars, you’ll be meeting women who like going to bars.
The best way to find friends or partners is to go to places and events that you already enjoy yourself. That way, you’ll immediately have something in common with the people you meet.