r/ThatsInsane • u/Minute_Revolution951 • 7d ago
Man goes insane on fellow apartment resident after she rejects his offer of "friendship" following one friendly interaction between them
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u/Ok-Swimming8024 7d ago
Yeah, completely inappropriate. This guy needs a restraining order and to be evicted.
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u/Darkanduglyturns 7d ago
Unfortunately, if he is forced to move, he still knows where she lives and has added to his original anger. This is another ‘tax’ we women have to pay just trying to live our daily lives. She should move and leave no forwarding address. Independently notify all the people/businesses you deal with and notify them. If you don’t have to leave a forwarding address with the landlord, then don’t. He is a timebomb.
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u/amd2800barton 7d ago
Yeah restraining orders are worth about as much as the paper they are written on. Every person, and especially women need to get and read a copy of Gavin De Becker’s book The Gift of Fear which I’d all about how to recognize your gut reactions, and how to properly respond to them. A lot of the time, conventional wisdom like “get a protective order” may actually make things worse. Worse, social pressure like “women need to be polite” puts many women in danger because years of conditioning has led them to ignore their body’s danger signals. The book goes over exactly how best to respond to many different situations, what to look for, And also includes when a court order might be effective (sometimes it is).
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u/Darkanduglyturns 7d ago
Agree. I’ve seen DeBecker on TV expressing his views and they are logical and common sense. We need to teach our daughters about all the dangers, seen and unseen, that expose us to risk. And arming yourself isn’t necessarily the right answer either when it can be turned on you.
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u/Late_Blooomer 7d ago
Mommy didn’t love him enough
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u/RIPseantaylor 7d ago
There's a lot of people whose parents didn't love them and know not to do this.
This man is detached from Reality... he really thinks she's rude not that he's being terrifying
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u/sicknick 7d ago
Yea! The covert toxic ones are really the ones you have to keep an eye out for. At least with assholes like this you know what you’re getting lol
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u/BeardsuptheWazoo 7d ago
I really hope she shows this video to the police. He's intentionally blocking her way so she'll have to get very close to him if she tries to leave.
I'm a big burly man and would be so uncomfortable if anyone tried to force me to walk that close to them.
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u/CheeseToTheMacc 7d ago
Apparently shes called the police many times and they dont do anything about it.
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u/BeardsuptheWazoo 7d ago
I saw that. She's called, but now she has video evidence. They might be able to work with that now.
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u/dude51791 7d ago
I see you have a lot of faith in people doing their jobs haha, if shes lucky and gets a good cop they may look into it and have a chat and thats as far as that will go, she would have to press charges etc and by then mr crazy face is already sabotaging the car, being more obscene etc potentially being violent etc
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u/Ardal 7d ago
She needs to show the cops this video; so they have a strong start when they find her body. between now and then they'll do nothing and then say it was 'unavoidable'
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u/Casual_OCD 7d ago
In Canada, the Crown presses charges on recommendation of Crown Prosecutors who get their information from the police.
She would have to go through the civil suit process if she wanted to pursue anything herself
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u/J7W2_Shindenkai 7d ago
okay so let's play this out:
cops come and talk to the guy
cops leave
girl and crazy guy both still live in the building and are bound to run into each other again
how do you think that might end?
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u/Baleri_boopsie 7d ago
Kelowna rcmp will do nothing unfortunately, they let these things progress and the perpetrators is continually given a pass until they do something that can't be taken back.
Look up Bailey McCourt, prime example of our city failing a woman who was in an even worse situation. She's gone now and the people are left wondering what could have been done to stop it.
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u/PopGoTheKneasle 7d ago
Bruuuuuuh. This is terrifying.
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u/BooBeeToots 7d ago
God, it’s scary being a woman sometimes. One interaction doesn’t go the way a man wants and it sets something off you didn’t know existed. If you ignore, it can go wrong. If you confront, it can go wrong. If you play along, it can go wrong. There is no “right move”. This video is indeed terrifying. I hope it gets taken seriously. Proud of her for having the guts to record and share.
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u/Tyranthraxxes 7d ago
This guy is obviously not mentally well. If this recording isn't enough evidence to get the police involved or some kind of protection order (not sure of Canadian laws) then something is wrong with the system. No one, male or female should be forced to endure this kind of bullshit.
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u/MimicoSkunkFan2 7d ago
A lot of people are just entitled asshats with poor emotional control - you're being very unkind to people who are legit struggle with mental health and who work very hard not to act out and upset others.
See also "whenwomenrefuse" subreddit - far too many of these stalkers around, and Canadian police tend to be far too lenient about them.
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u/Ruckus292 7d ago
RCMP are a LAUGHING STOCK regarding domestic violence.
I literally had one officer tell me "well if he hasn't actually put his hands on you there isn't anything we can do".... Then when they finally DID put their hands on me, suddenly it was "oh but we can't prove it was really them"
EXCUSE ME?!
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u/RickAndToasted 6d ago
I had officers walk over the broken shards of what he destroyed trying to get to me, the junior ones were ready to take my statement and find him, the more senior guy said I called them "too many times" so he wasn't going to write a report. Yep.
Tell ya what, in my state (usa) you can go to a magistrate and they'll decide if it's worth going after them legally. They said yes and the district attorney got the guy jail time. No thanks to the officer who decided it wasn't worth it.
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u/Neve4ever 6d ago
Emotional dysregulation is a common mental health symptom.
you're being very unkind to people who are legit struggle with mental health and who work very hard not to act out and upset others.
Not all people who struggle with mental health work very hard not to act out or upset others.
Guarantee if the guy in the video got charged, he'd wield his mental health as a shield and get a slap on the wrist.
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u/Grimdoomsday 7d ago
Bruh don't bring mentally ill people into this at all. This dude is garbage and there is no excuse for his behavior
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u/ThatsNotVeryDerek 6d ago
You can be mentally ill AND still be a garbage person. They're not mutually exclusive.
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u/evilregis 7d ago
A mental note is made anytime I'm around someone who starts talking about a 'spiritual disturbances' or the like in a non-ironic or comedic way. You need to know who these people are.
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u/PGP- 7d ago
I wouldn't want to be his friend either
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u/0thethethe0 7d ago
You're so rude!
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u/Admirable-Builder878 7d ago
Am I detecting a spiritual disturbance ?
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u/F_word_paperhands 7d ago
You’ve been nothing but a problem since you joined Reddit! So rude
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u/ThisIsFineImFine89 7d ago
this is not a normal reaction.
Guys a ticking time bomb of violence
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u/zeropointlabs 7d ago
Yeah this is one guy who has a lit fuse. I'd get FAR away from him if possible. It's not an if, it's when, and it looks like it may be around the corner.
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u/Bam_Margiela 7d ago
I wonder what he thinks would happen if she said “ok fine let’s be friends then”
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u/SpiralOutski 7d ago
I just watched that doc on Hulu “Stalking Samantha” and all I’m saying is this girl needs to arm herself and insist on a restraining order like, TODAY. There’s nothing more pressing in her life than doing those two things. Dudes like this are obsessed and extremely dangerous.
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u/GiftToTheUniverse 7d ago
I forget what book it is (“The Gift of Fear” maybe? “Why Does He Do That”?) The author argues that restraining orders are totally worthless and that if you are in a situation where you think you need one then you are way better off ditching the whole situation. I fully understand that uprooting to avoid one creep is an unreasonable burden, but you w would never find out if it was the right call until and unless the violence escalates past the point of being able to ditch the situation.
I’m not saying don’t get a restraining order. I’m just saying they’re only as good as police presence and willingness to aggressively enforce one. Otherwise it’s just a piece of paper.
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u/ANOLE_RETENTIVE 7d ago
all I’m saying is this girl needs to arm herself
it's canada, they don't even get pepper spray
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u/WavyLady 7d ago
I have a couple of hair pins (one looks like a sword)and a small can of hairspray with me. Covert items that can hurt like hell and buy me time
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u/robinredrunner 7d ago
Bear spray it is then.
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u/mbinmb 7d ago
Always be careful when you're using hornet spray around your home to get rid of the pests. The spray is horrible on the eyes and shoots very far so again, be careful when using hornet spray to get rid of the unwanted pests that swarm around.
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u/MimicoSkunkFan2 7d ago
Wasp spray is not effective, that's a myth from the 1990s.
Bear spray and coyote spray are allowed in Canada.
A can of WD40 and a lighter is definitrly not allowed but since the police aren't helping her I think a jury will let her go.
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u/SpiralOutski 7d ago
It doesn’t have to be a firearm. It can be anything. She just needs SOMEthing.
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u/StepUpYourLife 7d ago
Keep at it dude, you've almost won her over! This will be a great story for the grandkids.
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u/grue2000 7d ago
Soooo you're saying there's a chance?
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u/CompletelyPresent 7d ago
How I Met Your Mother 2025
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u/St_Kevin_ 7d ago
I just bullied her until she gave up!! Also, now I’m in prison and will have a restraining order against me forever.
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u/WitchesSphincter 7d ago
Lots of love stories start with insane rants, screaming and threats.
Often short and violent tho
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u/Thatguymike84 7d ago
Nothing says "You're totally missing out getting to know me" like screaming, causing a scene and physically scaring them.
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u/Particular-Ad9304 7d ago
100% the kind of guy that ends up committing some insane act of violence. This is mental illness personified
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u/mommyitwasntme 7d ago
This is ridiculous now. You are not only scaring her but doing everything worrisome as a guy living in the building. let alone a women. From Gas lighting, to victimization, defending, yelling, and harassing her and opening the door as well? like wth dude
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u/party-time-pirate 7d ago
You should cross post this to r/kelowna
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u/beerandbuds 7d ago edited 7d ago
I tried. They removed it because apparently it's doxxing. I guess it's more important to r/kelowna mods to keep his identity private than it is to protect the people he could victimize.
Edit u/dear-reader has kindly provided me with much-needed perspective on the mods' actions, and they were entirely in the right.
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u/dear-reader 7d ago
Subreddits enforce no-doxxing rules because not doing so risks the sub being shut down by admins. But also because the safety of random people from mob justice being litigated by reddit mods is insanely dangerous.
The failure here is from the RCMP, who are actually (supposed to be) responsible for protecting the community from dangerous and unstable people.
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u/beerandbuds 7d ago
That's a fair point, actually. Thank you for the perspective, it was much needed. I remember the misidentification of the Boston Marathon bomber, and I should have thought about that situation rather than complaining.
The RCMP are pretty useless. There likely won't be any action from them in this instance, unfortunately.
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u/h3rp3r 7d ago
They are not useless! Their ability to harass and terrify the populace has endeared them to those in power, just as intended.
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u/Much-Bus-6585 7d ago
He is definitely going to be violent at some point. That girl needs to call the police every time they have an interaction and get a restraining order
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u/Eureka05 7d ago
Time to splash that all over Facebook too and embarrass your local RCMP. Or at least have all that evidence out there, because he does sound unstable, and this can only escalate if he's not had the fear of God put in him by someone else.
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u/Lol_who_me 7d ago
“That phone is a demon and you use it as a weapon” she needs to GTFO of that place. It’s absolutely unfair but she should never take the chance of this psychopath having a chance to hurt her. Beyond scary.
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u/Ok-Treacle-9375 7d ago
Dude needs a hobby.
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u/random-dude83 7d ago
Call the police any time you have any of these interactions. That guy is nuts
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u/Basic-Reception-9974 7d ago
She has been, he refuses to answer the door so nothing happens.
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u/random-dude83 7d ago
Yes, but simply having that record of the complaint helps to show this behavior continuing. It doesn't help if you call one day and say it's happened 5 other times if you've never notified anyone prior. Also, worst case, if the RCMP continue not to act, she has a record of each time they fail to help.
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u/Basic-Reception-9974 7d ago
She's got that, but she hasn't been given any case numbers etc by the police, so it's a worry.
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u/GoFuckthThyself 7d ago
That outfit is an atrocity. He looks like an overgrown toddler, which is also on brand with his behavior
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u/The-Bloody9 7d ago
And the cycle continues the police won't act on the harassment until it's too late and it moves to violence.
This guy has the hallmarks of violence written all over him. Actual murderer behavior if you've seen stuff on EWU. Use extreme caution and I consider personal defense options.
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u/Forbidden-Jutsu-Man 7d ago
Put this fucking freak in thr mental asylum or jail.look at how red he is and his voice is wavering. Unstable fucking freak gonna kill someone
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u/-RWKT- 7d ago
I have seen douchebags such as that one before. They use the whole illusion of "friendship" like a leash upon another person's life and use it to create a bubble of control and to create a "slave" to their agenda. Such a turd. And did you hear that crap about "spiritual blah blah blah". Yup.
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u/TheDevilsAdvokaat 7d ago
Jesus Christ mate. Men like you are the reason women are afraid to talk to men.
They don't KNOW who will react like this. You cannot tell from looking. So to be safe they just choose not to interact.
I hope she contacts the police.
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u/Herteitr 7d ago
I am a bc psychiatric nurse, I have no way of knowing if this is OP video or just a repost but my suggestion is you do wellness checks on this person. He is exhibited some very elevated behavior and he may be already connected to a mental health team in your community. Im not saying he is dangerous but I am saying he may be manic right now which can be risky for himself. Alert the rcmp and request the mental health car come and do a wellness check.
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u/Lagneaux 7d ago
Psychological nightmare. Dude is a fucking creeper
And yes, the phone is a weapon to be used against people like this to prove what they're doing.
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u/InspiredBlue 7d ago
I saw the videos on her tiktok today. This dude needs to go! I hope this woman stays safe. This guy created this fantasy relationship in his head with this woman and feels entitled to her time simply because they live in the same building.
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u/necroshorts 7d ago
Guys like this make me sick. I show videos of interactions like this one to my sons so they can see things from a woman's perspective and also, so they don't act like asshat lunatics like this guy. I'd like thing my sons would intervene on her behalf if witnessing something similar. It is nice that another guy showed up and it kept things from escalating, but he should have stood up for her, or at least made sure the aggressor left the area.
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u/drhagbard_celine 7d ago
I talk to these guys every day on the male support subs. Weird to see one for real.
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u/FrankenGretchen 7d ago
She's been "shitting on people's dreams" since moving in.
This organism is a danger to people everywhere it goes.
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u/cilvher-coyote 7d ago
No. She doesn't use it like it's a Weapon...she's using it as defense.
I hope some of the Kelowna boys see this and knock the absolute fuck outta this psycho, dangerous,"creates many scenes" and hides when the cops come, "disrespectful", waste of air and space douchecanoe. All because she said "Hi" to him in passing one time
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u/Jstncrdble 7d ago
He obviously has mental issues
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u/cryptonurd 7d ago
Fookin fook just be my friend you fookin bitch, fooook I'm such a nice guy, FOOK!
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u/IlXll 7d ago
Social deprivation is a serious problem. There should be centers for ppl like this…y’all just got to learn to be comfortable in your own company like chill the fk out, burn some herb watch a movie , go outside enjoy the sun, eat a fkn snow cone or some shit and continue being happy man , that person might not even be at all interesting to you down the road like relax my guy wtf is going on with ppl
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u/Stark-T-Ripper 7d ago
Do you think the cops will do anything when they find him wearing her as a skin suit?
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u/wifichick 7d ago
In my 20s, I learned the best answer to get rude men that don’t give up or get a nice hint was to just keep saying “what?” To everything they say.
Nothing else got them to walk away or stop hitting on me or stop them sending drinks and trying to flirt.
But a repeated smile and “what?” “What?” “What?” (In a club with my friends)
Resulted in ……. a very frustrated “all we want is for you to come over and talk to us but all you say is “what?”! You’re So rude!” —- and they left me alone. Problem solved.
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u/Kbudz 7d ago
Shit im moving by myself for the first time with no partner or roommates and im excited af but this the one thing that makes me apphensive..
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u/Maleficent-Sleep9900 7d ago
I’m so sorry OP! This is against the law.
Are you okay? I’m scared he’s going to try to kill you. Please give the kelowna women’s shelter a call and send them this video.
I’ve had to move away/flee from a man with similar behaviour. He would wait outside my door continually knocking and invent emergencies to try to get me to come out. He would ask my neighbour where I was and tell her someone was trying to steal my bike and that he needed to speak to me. After I fled he found me online and I had to delete all my social media.
It only escalates, and doesn’t get better.
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u/SolarSoGood 7d ago
I’m so sorry you had to do that. A shame someone couldn’t talk “sense” into this individual on your behalf. Hope the creep got what he deserved, and I hope you got what you deserved: peace, quiet, and normalcy (although I’m sure that didn’t come right away).
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u/Lady-Zafira 7d ago
Whenever you tell them no, no matter how nicely you tell them, they start acting like this as if youre supposed to suddenly change youre mind
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u/ProfessionalOctopuss 7d ago
I'm 250lbs of male, and I'm violently uncomfortable to the point I can't even turn the sound on.
Y'all ladies have it hard, to say the least. Pepper spray this fuck if he gets in your way again.
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u/AirPodDog 7d ago edited 7d ago
Then the police in Canada would prosecute her for assault with a weapon. They’d go after her rather than him for sure. Pepper spray is not legal here, nor is dog/bear spray if carrying for self defence. As a woman in Canada I am actually terrified sometimes.
A home owner is getting charged in another province for defending himself against an armed intruder (the news is not mentioning the intruder’s weapon for some reason, I’ve heard it’s a crossbow). The intruder had an arrest warrant and will be held in custody for yet another bail hearing. source
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u/Select_Asparagus3451 7d ago edited 7d ago
Mike needs help…like placed on a psych hold help. He’s clearly not well.
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u/crusty54 7d ago
Time to get some bear mace. I bet that would teach him to keep his distance pretty quick.
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u/seanvlone 7d ago
Reminds me of the kid in ur neighborhood that makes believe that the pretty girl down the street is his gf.
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u/3randy3lue 7d ago
Show to the building mgr in addition to going down to the police station and filing a complaint (or whatever it is in Canada).
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u/SqueakBoxx 7d ago
She also needs to get in contact with his landlord and have him evicted from the building.
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u/LinwoodKei 7d ago
Exhibit A of what happens when you tell some men "No". I'm saving this for those type of male apologists who say that women friend zone men and should ' be clear that they don't want to date '.
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u/TofuFace 7d ago edited 7d ago
This is why I don't ever share my real name with my male apartment neighbors. Yeah, I guess they do know where I live, but if they flipped like this and I had to bail and get away, they wouldn't be able to look me up by name and find out where I moved. I've been stalked before and I don't want to go through that terror again. I've lucked out with good, chill, friendly neighbor dudes so far, but even the dude who has lived in the same building as me for SIX YEARS still doesn't know my name. The dudes I share walls with don't know my name. The affable, jolly maintenance men that I let in all the time don't know my name (the maint team could actually totally look that up in the files with the complex if they really wanted to, I suppose, but they have all been lovely and wonderful so far). They all know the name I go by TO MEN, but none of them know my actual name. I have two sets of little old lady neighbors across from me moving out right now and I am sooooo hoping that some more little old ladies move in to replace them because that feels so much safer to me.
/traumatized renter rant
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u/The-Noize 7d ago
Someone doesn’t have much self confidence and isn’t handling rejection very well… I can’t tell you who though.
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u/Tree09man 7d ago
100% probably stalks her and is obsessed with her. He immediately becomes defensive for no reason when confronted. She needs to get out of there quick or buy a weapon soon.
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u/Colin_Fappernik 7d ago
BOY! Can you imagine the amount of violence that would go unchecked if it wasn't for video cameras and the undeniable evidence it creates showing psychopaths like this guy? Mr. Friendly but not-so-friendly here would probably be a regular John Wayne Gacy in that world. 🫤
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u/smoovest1 7d ago
You’re creating a spiritual disturbance since you moved in here. This guy is sick.
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u/vukesdukes 7d ago
You go to the police station. File a report. Use that report to file in court. Watch the judge make him cry.
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u/MrsMiterSaw 7d ago
Woman needs to send this to the landlord and have him evicted and a retraining order.
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u/gregorychaos 7d ago
YIKES. What a pathetic, sad person you must be to continue to obsess over someone that wants nothing to do with you.
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u/seanvlone 7d ago
Lately, I’ve been struck by how prevalent mental illness really is far more than many of us realize. Even in the briefest elevator conversations, I’ve sensed pain, anxiety, or disconnection just beneath the surface. It’s becoming clear to me that so many people are quietly struggling, often without a diagnosis or the support they need. We need to start taking mental health more seriously because it’s everywhere, and it’s affecting more lives than we think.
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u/reddiliciously 7d ago
I’d honestly stop interacting (don’t even reply to him) and would pepper spray him next time he approaches me like that, all while recording everything and calling the police.
Fuck around and find out, Mike!!
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u/Pinksamuraiiiii 7d ago
This is very scary, I always make sure to carry pepper-spray and a taser. I hope she’s protecting herself.
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u/Ewreckedhephep 7d ago
Someone is gonna watch videos like these for research and play the best villain in psychological horror film history.
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u/CoffeeAndCroissants_ 7d ago
Uhhh definitely some loose screws. Only a matter of time before shit gets physical. I wouldn’t walk to my apartment alone after that.
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u/Behavingdark 7d ago
Alot like him , sometimes it's best to say nothing and put your buds in , that or get a big heavy metaler to escort you home.
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u/Round_Cook_8770 7d ago
Show this to the police and get a can of mace or something similar. Please be very safe. This guy could be very dangerous.
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u/Evening-Proper 7d ago
Mike needs some meds and a nice padded room to chill out. Therapy too, lots of Therapy. Good God this guy is fucked.
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u/grue2000 7d ago
OMG, that's psychotic.
I would be terrified if I was her.