r/TheTinMen • u/TheTinMenBlog • 5d ago
How feminism has hurt men...
Accountability is one of the foundational cornerstones of feminism, and yet, when confronted with the nefarious acts or bigoted words of certain feminists, or feminist groups, these battle-hardened beliefs of personal responsibility often fall at the wayside.
“They’re not true feminists!” is the typical retort.
As the bitter pills of accountability, so often prescribed by feminist voices, are unceremoniously spat out when given to oneself.
Accountability for thee, and not for me, it seems.
And so, I have compiled an abridged list of unoffered apologies, that many of the world’s most iconic, and well known feminists duly owe men.
Things like –
Erasing men within domestic violence policy.
Or considering men who are raped by women to be “ambivalent” of their sexual desires.
For tracking down and shaming unenlisted men and boys during World War One, and publicly humiliating them into going to the war front.
Apologies for stating they want to “k*ll all men”
Or wishing that a virus that decimated male lives at unprecedented rates, was just “not killing men fast enough”
Perhaps an apology could be offered, for platforming a woman who helped torture and murder a gay man, when she was given a headline spot at the Million Women’s March?
What about those who spent their lives blocking shared custody laws, and fathers rights, or those who opposed gender neutral rape laws, or called services for male SA survivors a “frivolous” waste of money?
Yes, apologies are owed, from many of the biggest names around, and are long overdue.
The question is, will they ever be given?
What do you think?
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u/shaz-naz 5d ago
Funny you'll find people ''no true scotsman'' their way out of these things.
If these people truly aren't ''REAL feminists'' then why are they not denounced? Why are they left to continue to 'deface' REAL feminism?
The answer is usually the most simple one.
These are ''real'' feminists. This is simply what you get when you follow the thread of feminist doctrine. And it's why, despite believing in equality, I'll never consider myself a ''feminist'.
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u/sakura_drop 5d ago edited 4d ago
No, no, you're wrong: it's all the ones who call themselves feminists because "the dictionary says..." who don't hold any kind of professional occupation relating to feminist policies, aren't actually involved in any forms of activism, political or otherwise, don't participate in any officially recognised groups or organisations, don't ever publicly hold the ones who push all the bigotry and hatred accountable, and basically have zero impact in the real world... they're the '''real feminists.'''
EDIT // Haven't wheeled this one out in quite a while, but this now classic comment Karen Straughan wrote in a thread over a decade ago is most certainly still relevant:
So what you're saying is that you, a commenter using a username on an internet forum are the true feminist, and the feminists actually responsible for changing the laws, writing the academic theory, teaching the courses, influencing the public policies, and the massive, well-funded feminist organizations with thousands and thousands of members all of whom call themselves feminists... they are not "real feminists".
That's not just "no true Scotsman". That's delusional self deception.
Listen, if you want to call yourself a feminist, I don't care. I've been investigating feminism for more than 9 years now, and people like you used to piss me off, because to my mind all you were doing was providing cover and ballast for the powerful political and academic feminists you claim are just jerks. And believe me, they ARE jerks. If you knew half of what I know about the things they've done under the banner of feminism, maybe you'd stop calling yourself one.
But I want you to know. You don't matter. You're not the director of the Feminist Majority Foundation and editor of Ms. Magazine, Katherine Spillar, who said of domestic violence: "Well, that's just a clean-up word for wife-beating," and went on to add that regarding male victims of dating violence, "we know it's not girls beating up boys, it's boys beating up girls."
You're not Jan Reimer, former mayor of Edmonton and long-time head of Alberta's Network of Women's Shelters, who just a few years ago refused to appear on a TV program discussing male victims of domestic violence, because for her to even show up and discuss it would lend legitimacy to the idea that they exist.
You're not Mary P Koss, who describes male victims of female rapists in her academic papers as being not rape victims because they were "ambivalent about their sexual desires" (if you don't know what that means, it's that they actually wanted it), and then went on to define them out of the definition of rape in the CDC's research because it's inappropriate to consider what happened to them rape.
You're not the National Organization for Women, and its associated legal foundations, who lobbied to replace the gender neutral federal Family Violence Prevention and Services Act of 1984 with the obscenely gendered Violence Against Women Act of 1994. The passing of that law cut male victims out of support services and legal assistance in more than 60 passages, just because they were male.
You're not the Florida chapter of the NOW, who successfully lobbied to have Governor Rick Scott veto not one, but two alimony reform bills in the last ten years, bills that had passed both houses with overwhelming bipartisan support, and were supported by more than 70% of the electorate.
You're not the feminist group in Maryland who convinced every female member of the House on both sides of the aisle to walk off the floor when a shared parenting bill came up for a vote, meaning the quorum could not be met and the bill died then and there.
You're not the feminists in Canada agitating to remove sexual assault from the normal criminal courts, into quasi-criminal courts of equity where the burden of proof would be lowered, the defendant could be compelled to testify, discovery would go both ways, and defendants would not be entitled to a public defender.
You're not Professor Elizabeth Sheehy, who wrote a book advocating that women not only have the right to murder their husbands without fear of prosecution if they make a claim of abuse, but that they have the moral responsibility to murder their husbands.
You're not the feminist legal scholars and advocates who successfully changed rape laws such that a woman's history of making multiple false allegations of rape can be excluded from evidence at trial because it's "part of her sexual history."
You're not the feminists who splattered the media with the false claim that putting your penis in a passed-out woman's mouth is "not a crime" in Oklahoma, because the prosecutor was incompetent and charged the defendant under an inappropriate statute (forcible sodomy) and the higher court refused to expand the definition of that statute beyond its intended scope when there was already a perfectly good one (sexual battery) already there. You're not the idiot feminists lying to the public and potentially putting women in Oklahoma at risk by telling potential offenders there's a "legal" way to rape them.
And you're none of the hundreds or thousands of feminist scholars, writers, thinkers, researchers, teachers and philosophers who constructed and propagate the body of bunkum theories upon which all of these atrocities are based.
You're the true feminist. Some random person on the internet.
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u/bulimic_squid 4d ago
I love Karen's quote on this. I've pulled it out many times against the disjointed feminist crowd who seem to believe their version of lipstick fascism is somehow more culturally enlightened than another.
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u/GodHand7 4d ago
Exactly they don denounce them anywhere near enough, but if a man does a crime in general its suddenly all men's fault
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u/sakura_drop 5d ago
This could be a series of posts. Actually, scratch that: this could be an entire dedicated account.
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u/OldTigerLoyalist 5d ago
Who tf makes bomb threats against researchers? How does one get THIS MUCH TIME???
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u/Scannaer 4d ago
You'll be surprised, but for startes it's radical feminists that make bomb threats
I'll group them under the umbrella of the "disgusting sexists under the protection of groups that claim to care about values". Which is actually a gender neutral umbrella. There are other problematic people too. But in either case the groups responsible for helping them will likely never hold themselves accountable.
Part of the reason I severed my ties from feminists and never started to see myself as part of other groups.
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u/Hello-1531 5d ago
They can applogise for how the world reacted to Sarah Everards Murder on 2021 by trying to assign the blame coplectively to all men instead of the one man Responsible.
How about the headteacher 9n Australia who after the media scandal, got a load of 12 year old boys to apologise to the girls in the assembly for crimes they themselves did not commit.
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u/Iamabenevolentgod 5d ago
It's gross how they do that to the boys. There is a seething hatred that is being seeded and watered in the minds of so many women, and it's deeply sad.
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u/GodHand7 3d ago
This disgusting things they do either extremely radicalize their victims or it makes them docile to feminist manipulation even more
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u/Lolocraft1 4d ago
I want an apology from everyone who, when faced with these problematic feminists, shoved away the burden of accountability by saying "Not real feminists"
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u/BEEZY086 4d ago
So often, i hear from feminists that they want equality. It's bullshit.
Have you ever heard the saying " wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first?""
Well, it needs to be made very clear to feminists everywhere that when we put their contributions towards equality upon a scale, feminism has done far more to oppress mens rights than they have to help.
My inspiration comes from a man who tried to set up a shelter in my area for men. A man who was the victim of domestic violence. A man who just wanted to help other men. It has been over a decade since his death, yet little has changed here. He took his own life because of ridicule and harassment from feminists. His name was Earl Silverman.
These were his final words: https://web.archive.org/web/20201111232633/http://www.familyofmen.com/a-final-letter-from-earl
I want an apology from my provicial and federal government, from the premiers and prime ministers of past AND present. I want recognition that men can be victims, and i want support for the victims. I want change.
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u/Bilbo332 4d ago edited 4d ago
I'd like an apology from the 250 feminist organizations in Canada that signed a letter to then Prime Minister Trudeau insisting that the term "parental alienation" be banned from family court. Their reasoning? "Too many false accusations". Odd how they zeroed in on the one type of child abuse perpetrated almost entirely by women. Also odd that they didn't ask for better scrutiny, but a complete ban on the accusations even being made. Further odd because I thought "false accusations are rare". Or are they only rare when women are making the accusations, but when it's men they are so common that we have to prevent them from being able to make the accusation at all?
Edit to add: Straight from the horse's mouth.
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u/_WutzInAName_ 4d ago
100%. Man-hating feminists deserve to be called out for their atrocious behavior, promotion of female supremacy, and their refusals to accept responsibility for it. They can apologize to men for these statements and many others like them:
“I’m actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations,” "If some innocent men’s reputations have to take a hit in the process of undoing the patriarchy, that is a price I am absolutely willing to pay." – Emily Lindin
"The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race." - Sally Miller Gearhart
"To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo." - Valerie Solanas
“We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men. “ – Elizabeth Cady Stanton
“We should stop putting women in jail, for anything. “ - Patricia O'Brien
“Men are rapists, batterers, plunderers, killers.” – Andrea Dworkin
“It is masculinity itself that has become the problem… The problem is not toxic masculinity; it’s that masculinity is toxic… simply not compatible with liberty and justice for all" – Lisa Wade
"Do we need men? Men are useless!" - Hosts of The View, the #1 daytime talk show
“Time is short. Change is needed. And women are smarter than men. And the men can’t complain because they are outnumbered today.” - Michelle Obama
“Despite all the challenges we face, I remained convinced that, yes, the future is female.” And “Women have always been the primary victims of war.” - Hillary Clinton
"Kill all men... the coronavirus isn't killing men fast enough." - Clementine Ford
“The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men." ~ Sharon Stone
"I feel that 'man-hating' is an honourable and viable political act.” ~ Robin Morgan
"All men are rapists and that's all they are" ~ Marilyn French
"ALL men keep ALL women in a state of fear" ~ Susan Brownmiller
“So men… Don’t run for office. Don’t be in charge of anything. Step away from the power… We have every right to hate you. You have done us wrong. #BecausePatriarchy.” - Suzanna Danuta Walters
And from many unnamed feminists:
“Misandry doesn’t exist.”
“Misogyny kills; misandry annoys.”
“Not all men, but always a man.”
“Men did it to themselves.”
“Believe all women.”
“Kill all men.”
“Toxic masculinity”, “male violence”, “male rage”, “the patriarchy”, “male entitlement”, “mansplaining”, “male privilege”, “the manosphere”, “manteruption’, “man keeping”, “male fragility”, “man spreading”
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u/GodHand7 4d ago
I believe hardcore feminists today just want to erase men in general on a systematic level thats why the justice system is so stacked against us and its so favorable for women
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u/McCasper 5d ago
I like this one, it's firey. Didn't feminists also terrorize Erin Pizzey and poison her dog when she discovered that men also suffer from domestic violence?