r/Wildfire • u/Wildhorse_J • 1d ago

Close the goddamn shitter lid

DID YOU KNOW that there is arcane technology built into porta shitters? See that tube that comes out the top? FACT It's called a stink tube. If you close the lid after doing your thing, the whole thing doesn't fill up with methane and smell like a goddamn sewer. It's very complex, I know. But if you take the crayons out of your mouth for one second and think about it, it might make sense. Signed a guy who doesn't want to smell your breakfast. CERRAR LA TAPA

P.s. I don't know who puts toilet paper in the urinals but you have a special place in hell

231 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

76

u/PatRick_FMO 1d ago

I always get up 2 hours before everyone slam the door, wear my yellow , and talk on the phone as loud as I can. Masks the smell

23

u/Bubbly_Jellyfish_615 1d ago

WOW...you've been on EVERY fed fire I've been on. I wonder if our wives know the same guy???

6

u/ZonaDesertRat 1d ago

Is the same woman bro... 

42

u/TerminalSunrise Field Defecation Specialist 1d ago

Another little known fact: also the way vault toilets work.

Kinda my area of expertise (see the flair I was assigned by the mods)

17

u/Cloggerdogger 1d ago

Also less flies in there when lid down.

29

u/flyman241 1d ago

It feels nice when the flies swarm up and tickle my ass and balls

3

u/Cloggerdogger 1d ago

Some people pay extra for that treatment.

1

u/ZonaDesertRat 1d ago

Some? The local lot lizard charges triple! Supply and demand strikes again.

18

u/TeaCrusher Tiny iAttack Helicopter (R4) 1d ago

Just use the PortaJ by the GIS tent. Skinny nerds shit less.

9

u/failedirony FF2/GIZZ R8 1d ago

I'm kicking you out of all the Field Maps for spilling the beans. Also, butt-chugging monsters to stay up until 0200 printing maps makes for for nasty doodoo butter.

2

u/TeaCrusher Tiny iAttack Helicopter (R4) 1d ago

Fine. I'll just send in updates by weird doodles on last week's georef'd pdf. I'm sure the shop will LOVE that....

1

u/failedirony FF2/GIZZ R8 1d ago

We'll just throw you in Ops jail, aka the blue room with no toilet seat and no escape.

3

u/yepyepyep123456 1d ago

First GIS mission is to find the unlocked regular bathroom on the fairgrounds

3

u/Ilikebigtr33s 1d ago

The GIZZ squad eats the same food you do and we don’t get to exercise. You don’t wanna know what goes down in there

12

u/Worra2575 HeliChimp 1d ago

Urinal? I thought that was a helmet holder...

2

u/yepyepyep123456 1d ago

Naw it’s for your radio

8

u/GreyLoad 1d ago

I like to see what my coworkers leave behind

7

u/EmergencyRight6955 1d ago

Nailed it. HUGE pet peeve of mine.

6

u/FeralHunny 1d ago

Wym you don’t like looking at liquid peanut butter????

4

u/pedro070782 1d ago

Thank you!

8

u/Most-Background8535 1d ago

I use the one near the chow line. Always full and no roller paper.

6

u/upurcanal 1d ago

No wonder I gotta wait as kitchen crew

6

u/Boombollie WFM, anger issues 1d ago

I try to use the one right by the ops tent.

2

u/Mountain-Squatch 17h ago

PREACH BROTHER

3

u/Big_Art_3084 1d ago

And don’t slam the door. Close it gently so you don’t wake people up.

8

u/Bubbly_Jellyfish_615 1d ago

What? Are you camp safety officer???

1

u/TownshipRangeSection IED Hire 1d ago

Yes I am! People gotta have jobs!!! Who do you think makes sure people smoke around your tent at night?

1

u/SlimPickins808101 1d ago

Back to back whipe together

-14

u/Chef_Pretend 1d ago

When there’s already a line and I know someone is coming in right after I’ll leave that thing up. It’s annoying to lift immediately after someone shut it

16

u/OttoOtter 1d ago

If you’re worried about touching something dirty with your hands just use your mouth.

3

u/Bubbly_Jellyfish_615 1d ago

Ill use yer mouth...