r/YouShouldKnow • u/LtSoundwave • Jul 19 '20

Other YSK That many people with a disability consider their aides (wheelchair, etc.) an extension of themselves. You should ask before touching or moving them.

Read this article and was surprised to hear how many people struggle with this. Even if you are trying to help, you should ask first.

www.bbc.com/news/disability-49584591

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u/TheRiddleOfClouds Jul 19 '20

Yes, but you would be surprised how many people don't take this into account when moving someone elses cane/wheelchair/walker/etc.

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u/KaizDaddy5 Jul 19 '20

Makes 100% sense to me.

Embarrassed to admit, that it never even crossed my mind before this.

TY

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u/TheRiddleOfClouds Jul 19 '20

Saw this happen a lot when I was working in the restaurant industry. I'm sure my servers were well meaning when they went to put someones aide in a corner out of the way, but it would make it so difficult for that person to get up to use the restroom or leave when finished, especially when dining alone.

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u/KaizDaddy5 Jul 19 '20 edited Jul 19 '20

Yea.

Fortunately I haven't been in many positions where I'd feel compelled to touch something that is an aid.

But this makes so much sense.

People that receive controllable prosthetics devolop parts of the brain to deal with the prosthesis as if it were a natural part of the human body.

They've even done experiments on able bodied people where they hook them up to a remote controlled arm or other device. Depending on how long they are hooked up the same thing can happen with an "extra" appendage.

Freaky thing is if it's left connected long enough and then remove, the person will feel as if they have lost the limb, akin to losing a limb they had since birth.

I'm not sure if the pain sensation is the same, but it very much feels like they've lost an arm. Even psychologically distressed too

Edit: I'm sure many hockey and lacrosse (amount others) will tell you that their stick "is an extension of themselves" , at least the good ones.

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u/Twrecks5000 Jul 19 '20

That mentality is also (in my experience) taught when learning martial arts with a weapon.

The amount of times someone would ask to go to the washroom, get permission, put their bo down, and then get told by sensei to take it with them because it should be “an extension of yourself” [sic] was a surprising amount.

I mean it makes sense, and with the amount of practice and katas i’ve done with a bo I certainly have some sort of extra... “comfortability”(?) with them as opposed to if I was handed a longsword or something I haven’t practiced with.

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u/KaizDaddy5 Jul 19 '20

Omg yes great example.

I practiced Tang soo do, and my bowstaff definately was (and prolly still is). Maybe a little different bc lots of things can be an improvised staff. But still applies at least some

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u/kayjillynox Jul 19 '20

Yup, my dad has to use a walker and can’t walk more than a two steps without it. He also doesn’t speak english very well. As a kid I always had to go flag down waiters or chase them down to figure out where they put his walker.

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u/ColombianGerman Jul 19 '20

My in-laws lived with me up until recently, they were both stroke victims that had to use walkers. Every time we went to a restaurant the waiters would tell us they had to move the walkers elsewhere. I would try explaining that they would need to go to the bathroom and can’t hold it for long, but the waiters didn’t care. Many times my husband would have to help change a parents depends (diaper) in a restaurant bathroom because the waiter couldn’t bring the walker in time. My in-laws were so embarrassed. We didn’t eat out much obviously.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '20

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u/AngryGoose Jul 19 '20

This is what sane, intelligent people do. It's refreshing to meet people like that.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '20

It really is, and it's really refreshing to see it appreciated. It's up to the individual to change but it's up to the group to help them.

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u/Diffident-Weasel Jul 19 '20

I think it’s really easy to not realize this if you aren’t exposed to disabled people often. But it’s great to take the info and learn!

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u/KaizDaddy5 Jul 19 '20

Yea, I mentioned that further down, that thankfully I haven't been in many situations where I'd feel compelled to do so.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '20

[deleted]

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u/GayHotAndDisabled Jul 20 '20

People so this to me with my cane. My usual response is "... Nothing?" Bc I was born with a genetic condition. But it's infuriating that strangers feel entitled to my medical history and to my cane

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u/TheRiddleOfClouds Jul 20 '20

"The same thing that is going to happen to you if you don't stop touching my fucking arm, bitch!!"

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '20

like, say a policeman, who maybe gets crazy angry for challenging his authorituh and decides to take a man's wheelchair and busting it to pieces.

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u/Express_Bath Jul 19 '20

That's crazy, I dont see how people think this is okay. I imagine this would be like if someone touched my glasses I would probably get extremely mad at them.

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u/TheRiddleOfClouds Jul 20 '20

Exactly this! Glasses are an aide as well! I have pretty decent vision but I have a friend who is absolutely useless without her glasses and if someone moves them from the place she set them, she will 100% not be able to find them.