r/YouShouldKnow • u/LtSoundwave • Jul 19 '20

Other YSK That many people with a disability consider their aides (wheelchair, etc.) an extension of themselves. You should ask before touching or moving them.

Read this article and was surprised to hear how many people struggle with this. Even if you are trying to help, you should ask first.

www.bbc.com/news/disability-49584591

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u/joreadfluidart Jul 19 '20

Just say disabilities, most disabled people prefer it. Myself included. Handicapped is not a good word.

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u/atcnat Jul 19 '20

Sorry for that my nativelg is german...noted!!!

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u/joreadfluidart Jul 19 '20

It's quite alright. I just like to point it out because there are so many ridiculous euphemisms like differently abled and other words that are much worse when really all you need to say is disabled. It's not a bad word and making up other words is normally the other person trying to be comfortable with it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '20

Differently abled always makes me laugh. I am classed as 'differently abled' but back in school when I pointed out during a bullshit 'don't be discriminatory' class that it's the stupidest thing I have ever heard I got in trouble.

Like okay. Let's just fucking ignore the people you are trying not to offend, while you offend them. Or in my case, make them laugh a lot.

Reminds me of the time someone on reddit corrected me for calling my grandfather black. Saying 'it's African American'. He was a British immigrant from Jamaica...

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u/joreadfluidart Jul 19 '20

It's absolutely ridiculous that you as the disabled person gets in trouble for disagreeing with their strange attempts to remember we are humans too. If you're unsure always ask, nothing about us without us should be the standard.

Edit for spelling.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '20

To be fair the lady had no idea I was disabled. Mine is invisible as a casual glance.

You get a lot of 'well who are you' kind of shit when you don't carry around a big sign. The sheer number of dirty stares I would get for having the gall to use the disabled seating on a bus or folks assuming that the disabled parking card is fake yelling 'shame on you'.

You should have seen her face when eveyone in the class pointed that out tho :)

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u/joreadfluidart Jul 19 '20

I have had my share of that, you'd have no idea I was disabled to look at me. People just don't think and most of the time they don't have a clue.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '20 edited Jul 27 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '20

This one I can understand a bit more but I think it's a quirk of English people are upset at.

You wouldn't call someone wearing a blue shirt as 'blue shirt people' but you would sometimes call fans of football 'football people'. The latter implies that they care a lot about football but nobody would assume that they don't have lives outside of their prefered sport.

I think that goes for disabled folks. Clearly for some it's a big part of their lives, but for others it may not be. It can be hard to tell how accepting someone is about a new injury and if they see it more like simply wearing a blue shirt.

I don't really think it matters. If someone cares they will tell me. Most folks are fine with 'disabled people' and annoyingly it's never them who are complaining about it.

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u/atcnat Jul 19 '20

Thanks and yeah we have the same discussion here and prominent spokesperson with disabilities are emphasizing "Behinderung" because that's what is happening, people are beeing "hindered" by society and their surroundings (it works both in German and English ;)) and not actually by their disabilities... lets call it what it is, be cool about it and try to provide the necessary adjustements so everybody can live a life of dignity!

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u/joreadfluidart Jul 19 '20

Yeah I do agree there is a big social aspect to disability. But it's not the be all and end all. Society could be perfect, everything could be accessible but it's not going to stop me bring disabled by sudden exhausting chronic fatigue and the shaking and sickness that comes with it or stop one of my hips from suddenly subluxing and causing me extreme pain and stopping me from doing what I want. My health problems would definitely still disable me even in a perfect world. So to go on lol. It's something I think a lot about.

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u/atcnat Jul 20 '20

Yeah no and that sounds horrible...must really suck!! :( I wish you all the best!!

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '20

Ah, never knew that. So it’s kinda like the “Indian” vs “Native American” thing, where is feels like saying Native American is more appropriate but most of those people actually prefer Indian instead.