r/YouShouldKnow • u/LtSoundwave • Jul 19 '20

Other YSK That many people with a disability consider their aides (wheelchair, etc.) an extension of themselves. You should ask before touching or moving them.

Read this article and was surprised to hear how many people struggle with this. Even if you are trying to help, you should ask first.

www.bbc.com/news/disability-49584591

42.1k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

916 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

8

u/allstonoctopus Jul 19 '20

I think the point of the post is more about the person's emotional/psychological identification with the inanimate tool, which (if I'm understanding correctly) makes it feel violating for others to touch without asking

3

u/Triknitter Jul 20 '20

It isn’t just “my crutches are a part of me.” It’s that I can’t walk without them, and moving them out of the way puts me in a very vulnerable position. It’s an actual safety risk.

4

u/kjh- Jul 19 '20

Once I was going through customs in Mexico and an agent request I remove my insulin pump. I have had an insulin for then probably 12 years, now 18. I have never had someone take my insulin pump like that. They aren’t allowed in Canada or the US. I didn’t want problems with Mexican customs so I let the officer take it. I didn’t let him out of my site but there was a metal counter between me and him and I was doing my best not to just lose it and start sobbing. I have never felt that way before. It felt like he had taken part of me and that part of me was inaccessible, like he had sliced my arm off and then stood just out of reach with it. But even then that doesn’t quite explain how it felt. He took part of me for only a few minutes.

I never realized until that moment that my insulin pump was part of my identity. It is part of me and now whenever I think about that experience, I tear up a bit. My throat gets a frog in it. It’s different than being asked by my RN to borrow my pump while she downloads the information or when I remove it because I am on an IV drip and my husband holds onto it. There was something so traumatic about it because of the absolute fear of what if he didn’t give it back. I don’t think I will ever travel back to Mexico as a result. I don’t think I would be able to handle it again.

2

u/allstonoctopus Jul 20 '20

Thank you so much for sharing. I'm sorry it was such a difficult experience but I'm glad you got through it okay.

3

u/kjh- Jul 20 '20

Yeah I survived. :) I don’t think the person who took my pump understood what they were doing and because of the language barrier, I couldn’t communicate easily so it was hard for everyone involved. But now I know more about myself and that’s important.