YSK That many people with a disability consider their aides (wheelchair, etc.) an extension of themselves. You should ask before touching or moving them.

[u/LtSoundwave]

Read this article and was surprised to hear how many people struggle with this. Even if you are trying to help, you should ask first.

www.bbc.com/news/disability-49584591

[u/Liquid_Is_A_Paper]

I can relate. Once I was shopping with a friend of mine and he straight-up grabbed my chair and started pushing me towards the exit after we'd finished. I was SO mad at him, I don't think I've ever yelled at a friend like I did at him that day. I know he meant nothing by it but he had no idea how genuinely awful it feels to have someone grab you (or your aid, which feels like part of you) like that.

[u/dudemo → u/Liquid_Is_A_Paper]

Fuck, it's worse than that. I've had people in the grocery store move me out of the way of the item their trying to get. Like I'm some goddamn grocery cart or something.

I went bananas. I said it in another post on Reddit earlier today that the next time someone tries to push my wheelchair, I am going to let them. Then I'm going to nonchalantly roll up behind them and start pushing them in their back. When they ask what I'm doing, I'm going to reply "Oh, I thought we were playing some kind of game where we push each other where we want them. If we aren't, don't fucking touch me or my chair."

[u/miskwu → u/dudemo]

OMG people are morons. What is so fucking difficult about saying excuse me? I'm raging for you just reading this, I can't even imagine how you deal with that.

[u/[deleted] → u/Liquid_Is_A_Paper]

I've told this story before, but I was in line for a bar when a guy ahead of me and my friends saw me, then practically ran over my friends backing up to let me in. He hasn't said a word to me by the way. I tell him to go as I'm still getting my ID checked, then he comes around and grabs my wheelchair. Of course I start screaming at him not to touch me, I don't know him. He FINALLY speaks and says "I was just trying to help." I've even had a friend not know how to deal with my chair and almost injure me, including leaning on it with a lit cigarette in her hand- I almost burned myself on it and had to tell her not to lean on me like that. And then there's me not wanting to ever have to ride the Metro in L.A. in my chair again because I had two drivers just grab my chair to haul me up the ramp, and another that dropped the ramp right in front of a bench so the driver had to push me off the ramp on the side.

I also remember an entitled Karen getting mad at me for asking her young son politely to not play with my cane.

I honestly think the worst part of it is people trying to tell me how to react to these jerks- that instead of yelling at the guy who just grabbed me without asking I should have patiently explained to another grown ass man not to touch me without permission. No the fuck I shouldn't, I ain't his daddy and he should already know NOT to just grab people. On top of that I'm not letting some fucking rando push me wherever, and not everyone know how to safely push a wheelchair so I risk injury.

I wish others would remember that we're full human beings who need the same respect others do, NOT to be humiliated and treated like an idiot or a child, including keeping your fucking hands to yourself.

[u/Liquid_Is_A_Paper → u/[deleted]]

You wouldn't grab an abled stranger's arm and pull them where you want them to go. You wouldn't pick up an abled person if you thought it'd help them move faster. Don't drag, pull or pick me up either!!

[u/[deleted] → u/Liquid_Is_A_Paper]

That's pretty much what I said to one of the bus drivers after he hauled me up: "would you grab anyone else by their arm and haul them up just because they're not going fast enough?" " Of course not!" "Then don't do it to me." He seemed to understand at least but clearly something is lacking in their training when I've used the local bus system and never EVER had that issue before, but Metro consistently fucked it up.