r/addiction • u/L_washere • 3d ago
Discussion I'm 15, please tell me not to do ecstasy.
tell me your worst stories with MDMA. I know it's not 'super addictive' compared to other drugs but every time my friend offers me some my resistance weakens.
I know it won't do good for me, I'm in a very hard time in my life, got groomed, 6 months clean from self harm (started when I was 11) but struggling everyday, it's my exam year at school, and I'm gay and fat. I'm so ugly. but It just sounds so appealing to me, to feel fine for a moment.
scare me out of doing it, please.
116
u/quietbushome 3d ago
The comedown is so bad I tried to kill myself during it
44
u/Opening-Wrap-5064 3d ago
This is the worst part, the entire next day was some of worst depression I’ve ever been through and I have clinical depression.
Also whoever told this kid that it’s not addictive is insane.
25
u/viridian-fox 3d ago
The comedown made it not worth it
-15
u/fail1ure 3d ago
Come down isn't the best but I don't know how ppl get so bad on it, I mean the come downs. When I was addicted to m last year I was eating around 10-20 pills a week, I think only once I knew I was Ina come down and that's just because I was getting more irritated then usual lol
Everyone j do it with all talk about the feeling after it and how shit it is but I just feel normal honestly
12
u/aquawomanpower 3d ago
Maybe don’t say that on a thread that a 15 year old posted asking for reasons not to do it.
2
u/L_washere 2d ago
yeah thanks, there's a part of me really wanting to do it but the other part is angry that some people here just comment "do it." like fucking hell.
1
u/VideoFlat5279 1d ago
You have to pick and choose which comments are helpful. You have a very knowledgeable group of people here.
-10
u/fail1ure 3d ago
There's plenty of comments against it, I'm also against anyone doing m. But I'm just saying in my personal experience the comedown wasn't bad at all, if anything they should be worried about actually being on it and how much they do
55
u/Fairymomma7 3d ago
It will deplete your serotonin levels so horribly and if you already struggle with anxiety and/or depression, that could be a lethal combo. It's not worth it. Especially when it could be something worse than MDMA.
1
u/VisibleWrongdoer8798 1d ago
I second this i was heavy on it for a whole summer sniffing crushed up crystals every night and it took me 8 months to a year to recover its like a permanent comedown.
57
u/leadergorilla 3d ago
Okay so ecstasy is something that even by stimulant standards will absolutely fry your dopamine receptors and at 15 it’s incredibly important to stay away from hard drugs or just drugs in general. Ik that sounds like narc shit but it’s just science. At your age your body is still in the most important part of its development and the addition of drugs like that can really fuck you up in the long term. I’m not here to say put down the drugs, stay in school and read the Bible, but you’ll seriously fry your brains normal functions if you start picking up recreational using of shit like mdma, xans, oxy, coke, etc. At a point where your body is most susceptible to picking up a life time addiction
12
u/buderooski89 3d ago
MDMA has little effect on dopamine receptors. Its main mode of action is the release of your brain's serotonin reserves, which can legitimately mess with those receptors permanently after just one use.
It terms of safety, pure MDMA is one of the safer psychedelics out there if used in moderation. A low to moderate recreational dose every couple months is not super harmful, but the bad part is that it's easy to want to chase the feeling of that first high (which is admittedly really awesome). The problem is you will NEVER experience anything like that first high again because, as I stated above, flooding your brain with serotonin can actually cause some of those receptors to become inactive permanently. Using MDMA regularly can cause several issues with serotonin and norepinephrine receptors in your brain, which can lead to permanent issues with depression, lack of motivation, focus, and anxiety.
12
u/marshmallow_crunch 3d ago
While you’re not wrong, I doubt this kid’s friends are testing their supply to ensure it’s pure. Ecstasy is often laced with meth, which absolutely fucks with dopamine receptors. OP shouldn’t be trying this drug until their brain is fully developed (after 24yo, minimum), and they’ve utilized some healthier coping mechanisms to get through their trauma/depression.
Ecstasy is a beautiful drug when used appropriately. A 15yo dealing with self harm is not it.
3
u/buderooski89 3d ago
Yes I agree. Sorry if I came off as trying to minimize the risks. I'm just a drug nerd lol I studied psychopharmacology extensively in college.
Absolutely correct in stating that most street ecstacy is laced with adulterants (if it's even ecstacy at all). Judging by what OP wrote about history with self harm, ecstacy or any other hard drug, is absolutely something they should stay away from, especially at such a young age. Most drugs like ecstacy should only be experimented with by adults over the age of 21 and should be done safely (test kits, trusted sources, safe spaces, good mental health, etc)
2
1
u/Trumpeachment 2d ago
So that permanent damage to serotonin receptors... Is there any hope for a healthy brain for a 22 year old who did a fair amount of MDMA regularly over one summer 11 years ago, and who hasn't touched it since?
3
u/Random13509 2d ago
I have gone through dozens of grams of MDMA crystals last half dozen or so years. Clearly I was getting to the point where I was wracking my brain. Decided recently I better stop. I'm sure there was technically some damage, but I think I'm all in all okay. In life, focus on good living, things like eating well, stay physically active, try and nurture a good mindset (for me, forgiving others and trying to forgive myself has freed a lot of mental and emotional cycles for me). Just be easy on yourself and give this life your best. None of us are perfect. But in simple terms, yes there is very much hope here, just take charge of your life best you can!
1
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Significant_Ad_9446 Moderator 3d ago
Your comment/post has been removed because it violates Rule 1: Be supportive and respectful.
Please offer advice, assistance, or contribute in a positive way and treat others with kindness and consideration. No derogatory or insulting comments, hate speech, or discrimination will be tolerated.
If you have any questions regarding the removal, you can contact the mods via [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=r/addiction.)
23
24
u/Adorable_Egg_3094 3d ago
The first time I did Molly, I was 13 and thought I was cool because these older guys wanted to party with me. Then, I blacked out and woke up in a bush being raped.
Don't do drugs, it never ends well, especially when you're young and can easily be taken advantage of. Even if you are not in harms way by a physical person, drugs make you feel like absolute shit unless you're actively high on them. Which means you'll eventually always need to be high to feel ok.
Just save yourself now. Don't do it.
7
8
u/VenusValkyrieJH 3d ago
That should have never happened to you and I’m so sorry that it did. I hope whoever did that to you ended up getting his dick caught in some monstrous machine and now it’s a mangled mess. (We can hope)
9
u/Adorable_Egg_3094 3d ago
Thanks, and I agree haha. I still talk about it in therapy, I'll be 27 soon.
2
1
14
u/atclubsilencio 3d ago
You’re not ugly, you’re dealing with trauma (you said you were groomed ?) and lack self worth. Maybe think about going to get some counseling.
As for the ecstasy do NOT take it unless you can test it first. It usually is cut with some other drug and with the amount of fentanyl going around you could die. If not die you’ll be risking a whole shit load of other problems that can come with it or other substances together that you don’t know you’re taking.
The come down will literally be worse than anything you can imagine. So the high may be great but just know that as much pleasure and euphoria you might feel while on it, the come down and following days will drop you into a new depth of hell. Especially if you’re already depressed. And you can’t really talk to anyone about it since any adult would likely flip out or tell someone and anyone else who may have done it will be nursing their own come down.
There are other things to worry about too— serotonin syndrome, seizures, heart attack, death. Doing shit you might regret. And again that AWFUL come down.
Your brain isn’t even fully developed yet. As an adult who abused drugs and alcohol from my childhood through my teenage years all I can say is DO NOT DO IT. Smoke weed or something. You’ll thank yourself later.
-3
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
4
3
u/marshmallow_crunch 3d ago
Your comment calling me a loser isn’t displaying on here, but I got the notification, and I wonder where you got that idea. It’s not like I’m on this subreddit for funzies. I’m a recovering meth and heroin addict, and I’ve done enough MDMA, acid, fentanyl, cocaine, etc to give me the experience to speak on all of them.
Now that I’m clean, I study harm reduction, and telling an inexperienced CHILD that they don’t put fent in anything but opiates is objectively false, and could get someone killed. I don’t usually pull the “I’m more of a drug addict than you” card, but I honestly wonder why/how you think you know what you’re talking about when you spew nonsense like that.
3
u/ioopsies 3d ago
someone else talked to me the other day like I didn't know anything about addiction, seems to be a common theme here
2
u/geezeeduzit 3d ago
He’s going to end up cold on a floor if he takes his own advice. So many addicts have this attitude because they don’t want to test their product because they lose some and it delays their ability to use it after scoring. So they just roll the dice. Lots of drug users dying that way these days. I’ve been to more than one funeral because of it. “Ahh nobody cuts with fent” says the guy who just hasn’t had it happen to him yet. Doesn’t even have to be intentional for it to happen - cross contam is a real thing.
1
u/marshmallow_crunch 2d ago
I didn’t know any better when I was using so I’m pretty fucking lucky that didn’t happen to me! That’s what scared me so much when I saw their comment. Like come on aren’t we all more informed (in hindsight at the very least)?
1
1
u/geezeeduzit 3d ago
Dude, many dealers deal with multiple substances. They don’t have to cut to accidentally cross contaminate. Dealers are not pharmaceutical lab professionals. They have no quality standards. It is reasonable to assume that a dealer who’s selling multiple drugs could easily cross contaminate considering their lack of professional lab training and the fact that many of them give zero fucks.
I know more than one person who’s died from coke laced with fentanyl. Your comment is dangerous advice to give to a young person because it’s wrong, and if listened to, it could literally be information that could lead to their demise. The responsible thing for you to do is to delete your comment.
1
u/Significant_Ad_9446 Moderator 3d ago
Your post has been removed because it violates Rule 7: Give constructive advice.
Remember that all advice given is from peers and not professional counselors or therapists. Provide constructive advice and avoid criticizing or attacking the OP.
If you have any questions regarding the removal, you can contact the mods via [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=r/addiction.)
17
u/AdeptnessLopsided210 3d ago
Wait about 3 years then have this conversation again
3
u/cringeperson111 2d ago
one of the best pieces of advice, to be honest, when I was like 13-15 I had a lot of thoughts of trying different addictive shit just because I was little and stupid and romanticized it, thank god I haven't done it, I grew older and don't want to try anymore, it could do irreversible damage to me if I tried those times
2
u/L_washere 3d ago
don't get what you're saying?
17
u/worfres_arec_bawrin 3d ago
You need to let your brain develop. Don’t cripple yourself for the rest of your life because you wanna get high.
3
u/AdeptnessLopsided210 3d ago
There's a time and a place for everything. High School ain't one of them.
1
u/b_dyas_1023 3d ago
The answer to all your problems in tiny blue pill form
-2
u/L_washere 3d ago
right thanks imma go kms now
3
u/b_dyas_1023 3d ago
Nah don’t say shit like that man … just know as bad as it is now it can always be worse. Try to find the good in your situation and build off that
-4
6
u/Necrid41 3d ago
If you’re having trouble now Grappling with yourself and self esteem Ecstasy will make it 100x worse That release of serotonin and dopamine that makes you feel amazing for a few hours Will be depleted And drained after You will have a 10x worse day the next day I used to roll many times a week from HS to college Even after addiction to harder things like Heroin I still think E did more damage to me than heroin. Your brain will feel like Swiss cheese Your emotions will be rampant And if you’re already vulnerable it’s going to make it 10x worse Go to the gym You’ll feel better about yourself Work on your weight And get that dopamine kick from lifting to running etc. Is it something to experience? Sure.. if clean source it’s worth a try once in life But mushrooms will be far safer and better without the lingering brain chemical depletion and drop
Or wait a few years till you’re more sure on things and out of the social chaos of HS school BS When your value and appreciation of yourself grows
6
u/jDub2071 3d ago
I’ve used E a few times and stopped after a really scary experience. I was having a great time at a club and went to talk to a friend to go to another dance room. When I started speaking it was complete mumbling gibberish. My mind was saying let’s go party in the other room but my mouth was saying absolute garbage. Like no proper words or sentences.
Immediately my bud thought I was in trouble. We went outside and it took hours before I could speak properly again. The come down was brutal, severe depression, exhaustion, and sadness to the point that I didn’t want to continue.
I would never recommend someone do it. You have no clue what you’re consuming.
6
5
u/BoysenberrySevere224 3d ago
Please please please do NOT do any drugs. Addiction is terrible and has ruined my life. My second biggest regret in life was picking up that first drug (which for me, was cannabis)
2
u/L_washere 3d ago
I'm already into weed, I'm scared idk how to describe it some of these comments aren't helping thanks for being nice
2
u/BoysenberrySevere224 3d ago
Sending you love and hugs. Trust me, any and all drugs will only end badly (including cannabis — check out r/leaves
5
u/meatlazer720 3d ago
The come down will eventually be nightmarish. It's a complete dump of serotonin, something your body slowly produces and stores for intermittent release. Life is a lot easier in the long run (even in the medium run) if you can find healthy coping mechanisms for trauma. If you're looking for advice on how to feel better about things, do the stuff that literally everyone successfully older than you suggests and takes effort. Exercise, honing art skills, an instrument, writing, etc. It sounds like a cop out answer, but there's a reason why everyone who's lived life says stuff like this; it works.
3
u/PANIC-ateverything 3d ago
i've done it twice, and i don't think my brain is the same. i have depression, anxiety, etc. the first time i slept through the come down, but my friend who was super experienced was awake and he was freaking the hell out.
the second time i was just laying there at 5am grinding my teeth and the only reason i didn't kms is because i didn't want my friend or his dog to find me. the high is not worth the come down, especially if you are already struggling with mental health.
its a temporary fix for a larger problem and WILL make it worse in the long run. its supposed to be something you do with friends to enhance sensations and have fun. its going to release all the happy chemicals in your brain and then you will want to yeet yourself off a building.
3
u/Ok-Jury-6627 3d ago
Also best to wait until you’re at least 20 because your brain is still developing and it will screw with neurotransmitters and can lead to depression or other cycles of addiction
3
u/ConcentrateCurious73 3d ago
Don't do it. The high is great, the down is absolutely depressing even if you don't suffer from depression. Seriously not worth it. Do something that naturally increases dopamine.
2
u/skipster88 3d ago
Aside from the fact you could end up with something that isn’t MDMA, it tends to be much stronger (particularly in pill form) these days, and in itself can cause you to overheat or have seizures or drink so much water that effectively your blood gets diluted and you get organ failure.
Compared to other things it is generally quite safe in small amounts if done infrequently, but the main thing to think about is your age. I used MDMA heavily 18-25 (particularly 19-22) and it no joke shaped most of the rest of my life. The problem was I enjoyed it TOO much and because I’m neurodivergent it kind of eliminated all social barriers for me and I adopted my whole personality/identity as Mr Raver Party guy, to the point I was basically just existing in between taking it, didn’t care about most other things in life and made terrible choices, and never properly learned how to even function or interact with normal people in adult life…
Also the fact that it keeps you up all night and feel like shit and depressed for a couple of days later led to me getting into benzos and ketamine to avoid the comedown and power through the lack of sleep, and that led to an addiction that ruined jobs, relationships, and eventually led me to prison.
For a long time I looked back on those days wishing life was still all about the partying, but in hindsight although it was fun at the time it probably delayed me growing up by about 10yrs and dread to think what it set me back in terms of mental and physical health, potential relationships, and achievements!
If you’re gonna do it at least wait until you’re a bit older - a bit of moderation and it can be a fun and even useful experience, but it can definitely be a gateway drug and a bit of a perspective/lifestyle changer, not always in a good way!
2
u/k-flawless 3d ago
If you’re already depressed and take mdma, yes you probably will still have a good time but the come down and weeks it takes you to get your dopamine/nmda levels back to where they were will feel awful and you will regret it.
2
u/Weary-Bus8436 3d ago
My friend died taking it in a nightclub. She was pretty experienced with drugs too, but you really never know what’s in it, and one bad batch can be the end. Lots of stories about young people dying at festivals taking pills/mdma.
2
u/blasphembot 3d ago
If you start abusing it, which you will in all likelihood - You can very possibly not feel natural happiness ever again or for a very, very long time, leading to an incredibly protracted timeline of unbearable depression. Depletion of serotonin is no joke.
You're so young. Give it 10 years, not 3 like other people said. 25 is when your brain stops developing, as far as science understands presently. That's when you're really truly grown up. If anything that's the time to experiment safely (and I caution the word safely). You never know what something is cut with, meth is big in MDMA or ecstasy street tablets.
Then you become addicted to meth effectively. MDMA is not meth itself but like I said it's common like cut with it so, just don't man, don't.
Edit: MDMA is chemically similar to meth and amp, to clarify.
3
u/OkBottle5047 3d ago
Okay so, MDMA destroys your serotonin levels. If you're already depressed or unwell, it can seriously mess you up. The down part would fuck you up real bad and may cause you to think strongly about suicide/sh. You're young and it's best to avoid drugs altogether when your brain is still developing.
I'm not an addict myself and never took mdma but people that I know tend to agree that it's not a good idea to start young and really not a good idea if you're not feeling really well in your life. Wait for the right time if you want to try it, it will be a good experience and a more controlled one !
1
u/Careless_Trash6411 3d ago
I was graped after some bad MDMA (I lost my consciousness). Not worth it, you are seriously risking with your life. If you do hard drugs, at least test them for fentanyl.
1
u/OBobcat740 3d ago
I mean I wouldn’t recommend anyone do drugs. Clean from IV fentanyl use primarily but all sorts of other substances for 5 years now. Loved MDMA, got me out of my shell and made me feel like “this is what normal happy people feel like all the time” but honestly it’s like this; I figured I couldn’t function in my own skin and had to get out of it, and by doing that I really didn’t even know how to be a person. The comfort you seek will not be made through drug use but from introspection, but you’re 15, it’s okay to be a teenager and awkward and weird, just try to be more gentle with yourself.
1
u/cybernev 3d ago
Don't do drugs at an early age. Go runz dances swim, hike. If you want to, try it when you're much older.ike 23+
1
u/Crimcake 3d ago
Try Adderall instead. Do not put holes in your brain. (It's not even fully developed yet..)
1
u/jungchorizo 3d ago
don’t be like me. wait til you’re older. unless your a fan of mental health crises and neurological/cognitive issues lol
1
u/VenusValkyrieJH 3d ago
XO is no joke and the depression afterwards. I don’t know if I ever recovered. I did a lot of tabs around 02-04. Every weekend for a while. Do t do that to yourself, please. Bc it will never ever be better than right now (when you are sober) if you do take it.
1
u/CuriosityGrowth 3d ago
Wait till you're over 25 to try anything as you will have a justified reason to whether to or not. Let your vrain develop healthy. You need your mind sober until that age. Don't provide yourself with roadblocks or setbacks.
1
u/carcosa1989 3d ago edited 3d ago
Because you’re a child. I don’t mean that condescendingly but you’re too young to make decisions like
1
u/PM_ME_PCP 3d ago
not even trying to convince you not to do it but u will feel horny and happy for 5 hours maybe and then you will want to kill yourself for 2 weeks 😂
1
u/No-Customer5187 3d ago
The comedown can be really brutal for one thing. If you end up doing it MAKE SURE you are waiting 6 months in between uses, and you are preparing really well for the experience.
1
u/One_Stock_9617 3d ago
You will feel terrible after for a few days and at the time it doesn’t feel like the drugs are responsible especially when you’re not used to those effects
1
u/throwrway7962 3d ago
To feel fine for a moment was the reasoning why I did it every weekend for almost a year straight. Not only is it an expensive habit but I can’t help but to think my daily migraines now are a consequence of the long term drug use. And trying to get medication that works AND that my insurance company covers took years. Emotional wellness aside, it could cause you health problems for years to come and that’s just if you’re lucky enough to not overdose. I was already experienced and still almost OD’d. At your age, this is just asking for an early death. Many people glow up as they get older but damage from drugs is generally irreversible and often fatal. The benefit does not outweigh the risk, especially at your age.
1
u/D-TOX_88 3d ago
Hey man- THIS is an attitude you need to adopt. E EXTREMELY wary of this shit. It’s not just the drug, but it’s mainly the drug. It’s also everything that comes with it.
Let’s start with your brain though: so, you’re already no stranger to an addiction to the rush. Basically a dopamine addict. You got dopamine hits from self-harm. And you’re doing great with that apparently, so I am FUCKING PROUD OF YOU. Well done. That’s insanely hard to pull out of at 15.
Quick history/biology lesson: you evolved from primates and multiple forms of humans over millions of years. Now, even BEFORE human-like animals, life was still evolving. Life started from single cells. What was their purpose? Energy and procreation. Oxygen, sun, food, reproduction, rest. All life requires or required this. We all know of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. At the bottom of that foundation is Physiological and Safety needs, and that’s where our drive to maintain a supply of air, food, water, sleep, and sex live (well, sex is all over the place. But the primal drive to reproduce to keep the species going is down there.)
How does this relate to addiction? It’s everything. There are parts of your brain all linked and working together to make split second decisions: to automatically breathe and move and keep a heart beat, a drive to seek out food, the decisions needed to make food happen, the reward you will get when you fulfill the need for thirst and water, and then the learning and storage of information containing the instructions for “how to get food, drink water, and get laid,” along with the more complex functions like “why you enjoy the company of another person or playing with your dog or why you like woodworking when your neighbor likes knitting just as much.”
All of this is the result of not millions, but BILLIONS of years of evolution. It grew out of the same primal drives for energy and reproduction that all life has. We just needed more than that, as intelligent sentient people.
An addict has hijacked the part of the brain focused on survival. The part of the brain that used to tell the addict “in order to maintain all the other luxuries like friends and a fulfilling career, we need to make sure we sleep, drink, and eat,” now tells the addict the exact same, except “…we need to make sure we sleep, drink, eat, and also let’s get high. That needs to come before anything else. In fact before food and water let’s go get high. Oh shit no money? Your sick mother has a bunch. But she needs that for medicine….. yeah but we REALLY have to get high. After all, it’s not about what you want. This is about survival.”
This is how it was explained to me when I REALLY got it. This finally explained why I didn’t have any control, while I was still accountable for everything I did.
Here’s the kicker: my brain wasn’t done developing. I was 15 and already getting addicted to drinking. If I had waited until I was about 22-23 to start experimenting? There’s a good chance I could partake in moderation like a normal person and not have to deal with the addiction. But it’s too late now. I stopped the development of my brain that helped make the decisions to stop when stopping was needed. I never got my off switch!
You’re 15 now. You could take the bean from your friend now. You might have a great time. You might have an absolutely FUCKED time. No one knows. But one thing I and many social scientists and researchers DO know? If you start taking those beans now, the likelihood of (at least) a significant portion of your life, if not most of your life, being filled with immense pain and suffering and struggle, increases massively. Especially since you introduced yourself to dopamine rushes at 11, for 4 years. But if you WAIT, and chill, until you’re about 22-23? (At LEAST 21 dude, please!) There’s a decent chance you go on to enjoy a fulfilling life, with no shortness of struggles that every human undergoes, but at least without the struggles of addiction.
I don’t have time to proofread this on mobile, and I’m being rushed off of my phone right now. So if anything doesn’t make sense, I’m sorry. But feel free to DM me if you want. Open book.
1
1
u/softestdog8 3d ago
I'm 29, tried it for the first time a couple of years ago, I won't lie, it was a great experience. However every few months since then I buy a gram and go on 2-4 days binges that leave me physically and mentally unpaired for the following weeks. Not only that but trying to sleep at night is impossible as once you close your eyes and start falling asleep you get what feels like literal electric zaps in your brain that completely wake you up in a terrible way. Also dizziness and loss of balance for many days. While not physically addictive (I believe) it can be so psychologically, as in my case. Not even remotely worth it as "the magic" is lost when abused and it's incredibly neurotoxic. I can't even fathom how dangerous it can be for a 15-year old's brain.
1
u/Ovennamedheats 3d ago
yeah, a lot of kids were raving back in the late 90’s, called them candyravers, probably check id’s at the door now but…hopefully OP can get talked out of it until they are at least an adult.
1
u/softestdog8 3d ago
Yep, drugs can mess with or straight up ruin anyone's life but being a teen and messing with them is a call for disaster. If OP reads this there's a time for everything, and even so one has to tread lightly...
1
u/Ovennamedheats 3d ago
I liked the rave scene, at least how it was, love the music, still do, people were friendly as hell but a bit too friendly and horny. Good friend of mine got hooked on speed(meth is such an ugly word), actually a few, became straight up tweakers. Freaked me out so I never took it back in the day. 25 years later, I’ve done everything except H, LSD, and DMT. I did try what I was told was “Molly” back in 2020 but I don’t think it even touched me because I was doing speed at the time.
1
u/Random13509 2d ago
Sounds like me for the last handful of years, yet I'm much older even. Did me some good, but realized I better stop. Still solidifying that decision, but right now feels like the right one. It really can be psychologically addictive. What I am doing now is trying to keep incorporating what I've learned into my life without the need to keep using. The whole "once you get the message, hang up the phone" thing.
1
1
1
u/Ovennamedheats 3d ago
uhh, well, I’ve never done it myself but am familiar with the rave scene at least how it was 20+ years ago. I am familiar with speed though, which MDMA is a form of and I’ve seen people ruin their lives from both and some came out fine. There was no reasonable expectation of somebody overdosing on fentanyl 20 years ago. Personally I wouldn’t touch anything on the street these days without it being tested. Rave scene used to be great but it’s easy to get sucked in to a hedonistic lifestyle where you can make life-altering choices. Especially, nowadays with fentanyl, you probably need to be extra careful. I’m also not a parent so…probably best to wait until you’re 18 or more mature but you’re gonna do what you want and my opinion is not going to sway you.
1
1
u/angilnibreathnach 3d ago
What if you got unlucky and your tab was laced with fent and you die? That’s the kind of thing that would have stopped me at your age. Not much else would have.
1
u/letthetreeburn 3d ago
MDMA dumps all your seratonin at once. Suddenly you feel good, better than you have in years, you can fix your life everything is amazing.
Then you come down and you feel worse than you ever have. The happy chemical is gone. Every feeling you have right now is going to be so, so much worse.
At my (admittedly tiny) college it picked up the nickname Icarus after a couple of kids killed themselves after the comedown.
1
u/Agreeable-Profit5076 3d ago
Threw up as soon as i took it and rolled heavily on the couch sick and feeling disgusting for hours That was the last time. Bad bad trip. I didnt even take a lot like the tiniest rock
1
u/lebrainboutique 3d ago
I took it for the first time when I was 17 and I literally felt like I lost a piece of my soul. I saw myself from outside out myself. Hard to explain. Worst decision to ever try hard drugs. Life is fucked up enough to trip out on
1
1
u/watrprfmakeupcuzicry 3d ago
my 3 girl friends and i said we'd do it at 16. " it'll just be this one time "
one time turned into 2 years. every weekend. then as often as possible to avoid the comedown.
3 months in i lost all body fat , my face sunken , eyes and cheeks.
end game was psychosis
" something " was in my room with me ( there wasn't. but i could hear it )
i tried to sleep. i felt the bed shift. as if my cat climbed up on me. i went to pet him and nothing was there.
i turned and faced the wall. i felt the bed shift again. like something over me.
i closed my eyes. something whispered my name in my ear. i felt breath and everything
i jumped out out of bed crying yelling telling " it " to go away.
i don't know when or how i slept. but. i never used after.
watch montana meth project on youtube. apples to oranges. but that scared me enough to not do meth.
1
u/AdJaded6154 3d ago
It takes me weeks not to feel sad afterwards and each time I do it the high is less.
1
u/TyreekHillsPimpHand 3d ago
6 of the happiest hours of your life followed by up to 6 days of the saddest lol. The more you do it, the shorter the happiest times and longer the sad
1
u/youknowmystatus 3d ago
Holy shit yo if you struggle with the things you mentioned do NOT do it. The comedown might fuckin kill you.
It’s a drug that comes with the promise of a come down. If you get shitty stuff the come up might even be too shitty for you to deal with, let alone the come down.
I am very drug positive but if you are fuckin 15 and have all the shit you listed going on I beg you not to do E.
1
u/L_washere 3d ago
I know this is an odd question but is there anything else you can recommend which isn't E
1
u/youknowmystatus 3d ago
I’m not gonna recommend drugs to a 15 year old on an addiction page. Stay away from drugs while you still can.
1
u/andreakelsey 3d ago
I cried during a Cheerio commercial the next day cause I felt like nobody would ever love me with the sunlight coming through the window like that.
I was 19 and it was like 20 years ago, and that was without the risk of it being fentanyl.
I’m actually a well adjusted person and even was back then! So, yeah. The come down is intense…
1
3d ago edited 3d ago
[deleted]
2
u/L_washere 3d ago
thank you, I really don't mind the short novel, gave me someone thing to distract myself from. thank you again, I'm trying not to cry because I have school in like 20 minutes lol x
1
u/RobertCalifornia2683 3d ago
XTC isn’t really a drug you abuse. In my opinion it’s so hard on your mind and body that you don’t want to take it the next day. I think that’s why they recommend every 3 months.
1
u/PeakDropper 3d ago
I called a girl I had been dating for a month (that I really liked) and had a conversation with her. She never talked to me again after that.
1
1
u/LavenderSlug 3d ago
I did ecstasy one time and developed severe derealization/depersonalization and panic disorder as a result. I was so severely affected that I had to take time off work for over 3 months, and it took years to fully feel like my normal self again. It was the most terrifying thing that’s ever happened to me. I actually think it played a part in me developing ME/CFS, a neuroimmune disease that has left me completely bedbound at 33 years old. Stay far away from this drug. It could ruin your life.
1
u/pellson 3d ago edited 3d ago
You will fry your brain out of chemicals. It's not worth it. The clock will propably be 5 am, sun is rising, birds are chirping, you lay in a sofa soaked in sweat half naked with another half naked sweaty person. You will feel the most soul crushing depression in your life. Nothing has any meaning, life is meaningless, please kill me right now I never wanna be in this place again. You will see the world in 240p black and white colors. It's just sadness and a black void.
You will probably feel like this for a week. Don't do it. There are other ways to experience similar bliss. The feeling after sex, or running up and down a mountain for example
Good luck to ya!
1
u/blueevey 3d ago
Never done it, never wanted to try.
I was unhappy at 15. 20 plus years later I'm so totally happy. I was happy before this too though. Alcohol didn't help. So I stopped that. Some things are best left undone.
1
u/sugarplumfairybarely 3d ago
Why the fuck would you destroy your youth and life like this? No. You are fif-fucking-teen. Stay away from the hard shit. Forever.
1
u/FlyingFoxandwings 3d ago
The high temperature caused a massive flare up in my eczema, all over my eyelids, neck, face, and arms. I looked like I was a burn victim.
1
1
u/crystalballon 3d ago edited 3d ago
I did so much that I had brain zaps and depression for months after. I completely ruined my serotonin levels and they will never completely restore again. Whenever I do it now it won't feel the same. You will want to chase that feeling of the first time forever even though it will never really come back. It is the ultimate gateway drug and I have seen many friends fall into addiction after starting with xtc. I once got on a train high as fuck after after a night out and I forgot that my friend was still on the platform. I didn't even realize I was on a train and just stared around confused. When I finally got to a seat, two children sat in front of me and looked me right in the eye. I felt like such a bad role model.
If you are in a bad spot In your life right now, doing drugs is the worst idea possible. You are still recovering from SH tendencies, which makes you more prone to developing addictive behaviors through substance use. The pull you feel towards SH is similar to what you feel towards drugs, but with drugs the pull will become even stronger. I say this from my own experience.
I did xtc for the first time when I was 17. It was so amazing that I did it again the next day. What followed was a period in my life of weekly substance use with my friends who all did the same. I lost a lot of money, I dropped out of school, lost many jobs, I was completely destroying the chemical balance in my brain which made me constantly depressed and anxious, I was completely dysregulated. I think I have damaged my brain cells, nowadays I am more forgetful and foggy in my brain. I did an mri scan last year and there is some visible damage (could be because of the drugs but there's no way to prove that). I wasted a few years of my life and health by chasing a feeling that was never meant to be there.
You are not meant to feel that euphoric. Everything else will not be able to add up to the extreme happiness you feel when you are high. Having drinks with friends suddenly feels boring. Being sober feels boring. And that is the joy of life itself that you suck out of your brain by doing drugs.
1
u/awasuccy 3d ago
I took too much, thought I was going to die and then started hallucinating unnerving things, like seeing people but the corner of my eye.
1
1
u/StrikingMidnight6726 3d ago
I feel your pain and can see why this drug is tempting. I had a very traumatic childhood and when I took my first E that rucksack of trauma and depression I had been carrying for a long time was finally lifted off my back. All my pain was gone. I felt love for the first time in my life. Problem was that love was chemically induced and as such what goes up must come down. The next day that rucksack of trauma was twice as heavy and I sought to replicate that initial feeling for the next 35 years. I became an addict.
Only years of therapy and having a program finally brought me peace of mind and the heart. Do not go down this route!
You have your life ahead of you, I know your pain feels unbearable, but it is only so in the moment. Don’t take drugs if you can avoid them. There are other ways. Yes they are hard and painful, but they last and your future self will love you for it.
Please find an alternative route and look after yourself, sending you my love and support. ❤️
1
u/DMTrott 3d ago
From The Drug Users Bible (from the guy who has taken 182 different drugs):
IF YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT
If you are not an adult, your brain is still growing, and the critical parts involved in decision-making are not fully developed. As a result, the use of recreational drugs can cause disproportionate harm and damage.
Physiologically, they can alter your hard wiring. They can precipitate serious psychological disorders, and can have long term consequences for your mental health. They can change your thinking, your perception and your judgement.
I know how this may sound, and that I may come across as a tedious old straight preaching the same propagandistic lecture you have heard before, but this isn’t the case at all (apart from the old bit).
None of this is waffle or exaggeration. A quick flick through the pages of this book will demonstrate where I am coming from. I am providing the truth in simple terms: nothing more.
The stats don’t lie and neither does the science, even if the politicians and the media do. If you have any reason to doubt this advice, research directly for yourself. Obtain the facts.
You have a long time ahead of you in which to experience drugs, if this is what you wish to do. There is no rush and no imperative to do it now.
Don’t do it now. Now is not the time. This advice equally applies to alcohol.
If other factors are influencing you, for example peer-pressure, try to see the wider context. Try to see these moments in the timeline of your entire life. Take a decision based upon that timescale; because that is the timescale you may be affecting.
If you are confused, or if you have already taken drugs and you fear that you are slipping into addiction or another drug related predicament, seek help urgently. Do not let it continue. I cannot stress this enough.
You simply don’t have to take drugs at this pivotal point in your life. It most definitely isn’t cool, and I guarantee that in 10 years you will see this, even if you cannot see it now. I also guarantee that if you read these words in 10 years you will absolutely agree with them. Your future self will know what you may not know now.
If this book achieves nothing other than to persuade you to wait, it was worth all the effort to write it.
Don’t do it.
1
u/404errorabortmistake 3d ago
i) the comedowns really suck
ii) if you take it too often it will destroy your memory, attention span, and concentration, possibly permanently
1
u/jon-evon 3d ago
MDMA is a drug where you will be able to see your death coming. Clearly you are aware of your own vulnerability addiction. As a woman who grew up abusing MDMA and now works as an addiction support worker, I just want to say that you need to find counselling or mental health support outside of this to help you work through any issues from your life. Addiction is a symptom of something deeper. Reflect one yourself and get therapy if you really want to turn things around. It’s not the drug, it’s the fact that the drugs fills up something we feel empty inside. Until you address that deeper emptiness, u won’t tackle the true problem
1
u/WaynesWorld_93 3d ago
You already don’t like yourself. You’re going to have a horrible comedown. And also I understand what you’re looking for, but you’re not going to find it in any substance. You need to dig deep within.
1
u/MentalHat28 3d ago
It might not be ‘super addictive’ but alcohol isn’t either and it ruins many lives because for them it is. Don’t risk it! My son started doing this type of stuff with friends when he was your age. Honour roll student, accepted to the best university in Canada with a 90 average, deans list first year fast forward three years later. Required to withdraw and never finished and works part time, trying to get clean
So use but know it can take you out. It’s happens to some and it might happen to you.
1
u/xarithia 3d ago
I'm from Australia. Several years ago a girl from Sydney, same age as you are, attended a rave and took ecstasy. She fell ill within hours, eventually slipped into a coma and died due to brain swelling.
1
1
u/D00dleArmy 2d ago
It might actually be safer for you to smoke weed every day for a year than to do MDMA given your current condition. (Don’t smoke weed every day either)
0
1
u/ssdd365 2d ago
I’ve been doing drugs since I was your age. It’s not an easy lifestyle. They don’t call the mdma comedown suicide Tuesday for nothing. I did lots of X. I never thought it was a problem. But looking back, I’m high in every picture taken of me. I know you feel fat and ugly but drugs won’t fix that, worst case is you’ll feel comfortable in drug land and leaving it is harder than you can ever imagine. Not to mention your brain is not done developing. You really don’t want to be messing with brain chemicals especially with a history of self loathing. I’m gonna sound cliche but join a group at school or whatever your community has to offer. High school is the worst. Period. But it’s not forever and I promise the world sees you through different eyes. You are neither fat nor ugly and even if you were the fattest and ugliest person, you are still worthy of love, safety, and security that drugs will never provide.
1
u/No_Nothing_2319 2d ago
I once mixed ecstasy and tequila and was so convinced my teeth got smashed I kept going up with people in the club opening my mouth and asking them if my teeth were still ok. I’m 5’2 and grown ass men were terrified 😂
1
u/Tarpy7297 2d ago
They call it blue Monday or blue Tuesday’s or some shit. Because all your serotonin gets released. It’s a great feeling. It is not worth the price you pay when it’s gone. The feeling of despair and impending doom is horrible. And I honestly don’t think I have ever been the same…when you release all that serotonin your body wants to maintain it and whether it’s just a laugh in production or if the receptors increase in number to try to compensate/which it never is able to….theres an imbalance and I know it started when I used extract. The last time I used it I was probably 22…I’m 45 and I’ve been addicted to alcohol, meth, opiates, in varying degrees since . Enjoy your life…clean and sober…mine was robbed from me & I was the accomplice.
1
1
u/KingCBONE2 2d ago
What you’re feeling now is gonna feel 100x worse the next day after using.
1
u/L_washere 2d ago
I know this is morbid but the suicidal dumbass in me kinda wants to do it so I maybe kill myself and get it over with without the nerves before hand
1
1
u/Parrabola213 2d ago
As a person that didn't hold off on fucking with my very delicate and miraculous brain chemistry until I was done developing and an adult but felt invincible and so didn't even worry about what my drug experimentation, that became drug compulsive using and then predictably addiction the single greatest regret I have at 37 after a pretty hard life much of which was due to issues stemming from drugs is that I didn't at least hold off until I was twenty one so I emotionally matured more and had a better shot at overcoming my severe and multi decade addictions than I do as it stands.
The thing that people say about your emotional development stopping is true... it basically stunts you forever at the age when you start doing drugs, and it goes for all of them unfortunately, even weed and alcohol, unless you grow some hard earned self awareness and can work on it which is way more challenging to undertake when peers are adults not just in age but in maturity and you act like a teenager or in my case an eleven year old when you have any emotional difficulties be them relationships, career and social group dynamics, disappointment, all the shit we develop at the age we do normally so that when we are responsible for more to potentially fuck up, destroy, break the heart of and so on we don't have the same emotional capabilities as we do the first time someone breaks up with us or some other big disappointment happens and we do some embarrassing or say some embarrassing off the wall shit only a kid would conjure up that is the stuff well developed adults laugh about years later and would be horrified to do grown up and know the shit even friends must be wondering about them now.
Let your beautiful brain finish it's growing and be more or less as mature, probably moreso than, most ppl walking around by not introducing potentially neurotoxic and manufacturer unknown drugs into the chaos of hormones, inexperience, being a teenager can feel crazy in infinite ways that is baseline at fifteen.
Seriously, my biggest regret, and I have pretty much some of the biggest ones people would use as their guess if "biggest regret cause" were the category on family feud. I would probably have 4/5 or all of the top five and arrogance about drugs is king of them all. Let that sink in.
1
u/Boho_baller 2d ago
The first time I “rolled,” I was 17. I had never struggled with depression or anxiety before, but the comedown was one of the darkest experiences of both that I’ve ever had. The night itself doesn’t matter much. Honestly, it’s fleeting, and once it’s over, you’re left chasing a high you’ll never truly reach again. That exact feeling is unattainable.
Don’t do it.
1
u/Boho_baller 2d ago
I had those exact feelings at 15. I wanted anything that would allow me to numb myself. I perfected the work of escapism. I always wanted to run from my uncomfortable feelings. I hated the person I saw in the mirror and for what? I was a kid! I had my whole life ahead of me.
At 15, I decided to start numbing, and the first try at it, I ended up in the ER with alcohol poisoning, and having my stomach pumped.
At 34, I am now two years clean from opiates and alcohol. That is almost TWENTY years of trying to escape and numb. Twenty years chasing a feeling of “fine”. I never reached it with an external substance. I had to work internally.
Start now and find you a therapist, community, hobbies, etc. If you can start doing the leg work now, you will be pleasantly surprised where you are at in a few years time. Don’t spend the next twenty years trying to numb what makes you, you.
1
u/Similar-Guitar-6 2d ago
Some of the reasons I no longer do X: chasing the high by taking additional pills after the first pills start to wear off, drinking liquor to help keep the buzz going, gnashing and grinding my teeth non stop, my eyes darting quickly to-and-frow back and forth, and the crash landing come down. Just awful.
Best to you 👍
1
u/EtM1980 2d ago
OP: First of all, literally anything can be addictive (there are people who are addicted to eating rocks and couch cushions), so it’s all subjective.
Also please look into SMART Recovery. There is a free app and info online. They have all kinds of reading material and online meetings that can help you. It is a more modern and progressive approach to recovery, with proven science based methods that work.
There are a lot of differences with it, compared to AA/NA. You don’t have to be 100% abstinent from everything (although at your age, that would be beneficial). They help you shape your life the way you want it and teach you to take charge and be your own rescuer.
Please feel free to reach out with any questions or additional help!
1
u/Guilty_Bluejay_2345 2d ago
You can overheat, you can have heart side effects, brain and mental health, or it could be laced.
1
u/Environmental_Eye539 2d ago
Shi molly is nice. Just take a reasonable dose, remember to drink lots of water, and DONT take it every weekend. Take breaks of at least 3 months so your sorotonin system can recover.
1
1
u/OtakuGhast 2d ago
I’m 18, did mdma my first time when I was 16. It completely depletes you of serotonin, leading to quite possibly one of the horrific comedowns that can be experienced. You will feel like absolute shit. The high is pleasant but it’s just not worth it especially if you’re prone to mental health problems. During one of my worst mdma experiences I was practically a vegetable on it. Almost entirely unable to communicate with my friends, my head was spinning and I was waiting in a toilet cubicle head in hands pleading for the experience to end.
1
u/Random13509 2d ago
I've blacked out from it three times since earlier this year. Was hitting it hard for some years, and to be honest was some positives from it. But I realized I better stop wracking my brian like that and have recently decided was time myself to walk away from it. Hang in there and be easy on yourself.
1
u/JuniorMongoose9160 In Recovery 2d ago
I was high for 3 days because I dosed wrong and it was truly the worst experience. It was so uncomfortable I thought I saw my soul leave my body and I thought I died. My bf said I was violently shaking for hours to the point he made me chew a rubber spatula coz he thought I’d destroy my teeth
1
u/224Acacia 2d ago
Quite simply you are too young … your brain is still growing. If you are going to do drugs wait until your mid to late 20s
1
1
u/RegularAxolotl 2d ago
I got lockjaw, couldn’t breathe , panicked for 3 hours while not being able to open my mouth — and then woke up 30 hours later
1
u/Winter_Jury2037 1d ago
The next day will be hell. Coming down from that feels terrible. I felt physically ill and so depressed I couldn’t even get up and walk. I laid in bed crying thinking about kms. At one point I did try to end myself because I felt so depressed and wanted it to stop.
1
-1
u/OneEyedC4t Former Addict, Now Drug Counselor 3d ago
Don't do ecstasy.
There, I did what you told me to. 😁
1
u/L_washere 3d ago
haha smart one 😐
-1
u/naiflaloq 3d ago
You’re totally going to do it, and later you’ll wish you hadn’t. I can tell you’re awfully stubborn.
1
u/L_washere 2d ago
nah I just said that because the smiling emoji pissed me off. I'm incredibly not stubborn, I'm very easy which is actually arguably worse lol
1
u/OneEyedC4t Former Addict, Now Drug Counselor 3d ago
I think he would need more than just a few quotes from Reddit to prove whether a person is stubborn or not but whatever
0
-1
u/Significant_Ad_9446 Moderator 3d ago
If you’re an addict you’ll do it regardless of what anyone says
-1
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Adorable_Egg_3094 3d ago
Joke or not, that's a horrible thing to post in a group meant to support those in addiction.
1
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Significant_Ad_9446 Moderator 3d ago
Your comment/post has been removed because it violates Rule 1: Be supportive and respectful.
Please offer advice, assistance, or contribute in a positive way and treat others with kindness and consideration. No derogatory or insulting comments, hate speech, or discrimination will be tolerated.
If you have any questions regarding the removal, you can contact the mods via [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=r/addiction.)
1
u/L_washere 3d ago
good advice thanks
1
-2
-2
-4
u/Hitmaxx 3d ago
Why not, mdma isn’t as bad as you think, it rewires the brain in a good way, it’s used in therapeutic/clinical setting to heal trauma and more. It’s not addictive, just gotta use it like 1-2x year. It’s not a magic pill tho,I felt like shit on it , shrooms are better all the way, hopefully they’ll make you straight too
2
u/crystalballon 3d ago
Do not attempt to resolve trauma by your own by doing drugs recreationally. It does not work. If you use psychedelics for trauma healing, do it with a therapist.
1
u/L_washere 2d ago
genuinely made me laugh, shrooms making me straight is crazy lol weed literally made me gay
1
u/mintidubs 8h ago
Want me to scare you? Easy. Drugs like this don't always make you feel so great. They can amplify what you're already experiencing. So if you're in a bad place mentally and do something like that, it's very likely that you'll have an awful, highly anxious existential experience. I've been very low in life and never once has drugs helped with that. You know what helped? The polar opposite -- prioritizing my health -- and not for others, for myself. I started eating well, working out, prioritizing sleep and creating art, and it let to a lifestyle that is sustainable and happy. The hardest things to do have the most significant long term reward. That's not just a saying. Doing drugs is easy, and so the result will not make your life any better. I promise you.
•
u/AutoModerator 3d ago
Don’t forget to check out our Resources wiki page, which includes helpful information such as global suicide hotlines, recovery services, and a recovery Discord server where you can seek further support.
Join our chatroom and come talk with us!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.