Partners using again, need to advice and just some support

[u/LegalWeekend3950]

So last year my partner was hospitalised after binging on Xanax, diazepam, cocaine and whatever else. He ended up coming off them and turning psychotic which meant he was sectioned. He also was doing a lot of shady stuff behind my back when he was high like looking on hook up websites and paying OF creators money to chat and things. We have a two year old son who I stopped him seeing when I found out about him using these drugs because he was constantly doped out - couldn’t open his eyes and things and very angry. When he was hospitalised he promised he’d never do anything like that again and risk not seeing our son. He also had a few seizures related to his drug use during the months he was using when he hadn’t took it. We got back together and everything’s been good until these past few weeks. He’s been sleeping pretty much solidly on any free time we have, so I’m doing all the childcare and raising of our son alone. I kind of figured on the weekend he was on something because he had that look he had last year. So, I went through his bag and found strips of diazepam (some empty) they’re strong dosage too (10mg). He doesn’t know I know yet. I always said if he did it again I would walk away and take our son with me. Now I’m in that situation I feel angry, upset, let down and just in a mess. I’m still traumatised after last years mess when he became psychotic. I’m just so confused right now and need advice off others about my situation. I don’t know if I should just walk properly now, but it’s so hard as I love him so much, but he’s back taking drugs that tore our family apart and caused damage. He promised he’d never do it again to us and he’d cut off the people who gave them him, but he never did and now he’s on pills again. I know when I confront him he’ll get angry, he’ll tell me it’s not a big deal and all the usual stuff I’ve heard. I’m scared he’s going to leave our little boy without a dad because I know he eats them like candies and he will be mixing it with codeine.

Im just so confused and wondering where I go from here? I’m heartbroken he’s using again, I feel like our family means nothing to him. I love him, but I don’t think I’ve got it in me again to go through what we’ve been through again. I feel like my world’s just been flipped upside down. I look at our son and I hurt for him because one time he might take a dodgy pill and die or he has a seizure on them again and dies.

TL;DR partner using drugs again behind my back that caused him seizures and sectioning. We have a child and I don’t know if I should walk away.

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[u/Basic-Citron-8463]

You know what you need to do :(

[u/SubjectReasonable143]

I'm so sorry he's forcing you to leave. But you HAVE to. The more times you dont follow through with your word, the more emboldened he'll feel in his addiction