i am so insanely deep in my addiction to adhd stimulants (currently ritalin) that i feel myself slowly dying every single day. I constantly steal these pills from my family who have prescriptions for this with the belief that i need it more than they do. i need help. this needs to stop or else this is gonna blow up in my face. i literally cannot stop taking pills. the minute i put one in my mouth i genuinely cannot stop until i run out, then lose my shit, and then steal some more. i’m messing up my body so badly, my tolerance is through the roof, i’m not sleeping anymore, i’m not eating, my heart rate is insanely high and i’m even hallucinating stuff from time to time. i’m planning out how many pills im going to take and how much i can extend the amount of pills i have to last as long as it can. i’m losing my mind and i haven’t even told anyone about this. nobody knows that this is happening, and if they do, they don’t know the severity. i need to go to rehab, but im starting college and have things going for me. i have no idea what to do. if i keep taking these pills, im either going to die, or end up in jail. at this point, i want to go to rehab. not because i want to stop taking pills, but because i know what its doing / will do to me. i know that this is killing me. and i hate how i STILL don’t want to stop, but i have to eventually. it’s inevitable. one day this is going to turn on me so badly that im going to have nothing left. this is putting so much stress on my mom that i feel guilty every time i take a pill, but even then - i can’t stop. no matter how much i try to tell myself “it’s not worth it”, it’s useless. i have no idea what to do. i’m scared im going to live and die this way, but im also terrified to stop.

Since my last post was deleted for “trolling or spamming” I thought I should reiterate how honest I am trying to be about fixing myself and addressing my deep rooted problems and issues. I am just a student and tried to get a therapist but I can’t afford one since I am totally broke after paying for international student tuition.

Context: I (21M) have never been intimate with a woman in my life. I am chronically addicted to porn and masturbating. All my friends think I have autism. I wanna say again all of this is completely true and I am seeking help and advice anonymously to avoid public shame and embarrassment. I know it sounds crazy but this is my story.

I was on a plane sitting next to a girl that I find attractive, and who is the same school and friend group as me. She was drunk and celebrating her birthday and was over sharing and trauma dumping on me. I got horny and decided to touch myself under the blanket thinking about her while she sat beside me. I then went to the bathroom to finish. I proceeded to do this 6 times during the duration of the 14 hour flight. After she woke up, I asked if I can put my head on her when I sleep. She said no and I put a pillow in between us and did it anyway.

All my friends tell me I am insane, creepy, and disgusting for this. I feel embarrassed and my whole friend group has come to know this story and it has made all my social dynamics very awkward. I seriously don’t know what to do with myself and need as much help and advice I can get. My friends only yell at me and bully me about this while calling me names and don’t suggest how I can fix myself. Please I am begging for positive advice and suggestions on how I can improve.

I got hooked on chewing ice. It started harmlessly during college. I would finish my drink and absentmindedly crunch the leftover cubes. Soon, I was buying bags of ice from the gas station just to chew. The sound, the texture, even the cold sting on my teeth gave me a bizarre kind of satisfaction. Friends joked that I must be a penguin in disguise.

It got weirder when I realized I craved it at odd times, like sneaking to the freezer at 2 a.m. or choosing restaurants based on the kind of ice they served. My dentist warned me I was destroying my enamel, but the urge was stronger than the pain. Eventually, I learned it was linked to low iron levels, and once I treated the deficiency, the craving faded. Looking back, it feels almost comical, but at the time it felt like a real addiction, one that made my freezer sound like a slot machine every night.

I’m grateful this sub exists. I was always a lurker on reddit until I had intense cravings and was close to relapsing. I reached out on here out of desperation and yall came through. I’ve been attending NA meetings and I feel more prepared if those feelings come back like that again.

I just wanted to say thank you

This thought has been sitting heavy with me. I see so many people struggling, and I keep thinking “what if there was some kind of organization that actually did what the world is missing right now?” I would love to dedicate myself to something like this but honestly I have no idea what shape it should take.

Should it be more free peer support spaces, like local drop-ins or online meetups? Should it focus on education, so that younger people don’t slide into the same patterns? Or maybe a system of mentors, people in recovery who guide others through the roughest parts? What do you think our world doesn’t have yet but really needs?

Hey guys I’m a recovering addict, went to rehab for drugs. Alcohol has never been an issue but I seem to be picking up gambling habits that set me even further back.

I’m a lot better than before but I am definitely going down the dark part of life again.

The closest ahhh feeling is whenever I get a sale at work.

Any tips for motivation, not a big fan of NA/AA, haven’t tried smart recovery though… thoughts around this?

when do you call it quits on someone in your life that’s an addict? my bf has been struggling with addiction for a while and it’s really been taking a toll on me mentally. there’s nothing i care more about than his sobriety, but he’s in the stage where he wants to quit but won’t take the initiative to do so. ive been trying so many things, trying to get him into hobbies, things to distract him, and different rehab groups that could help him. but nothing i suggest or try to do seems to help. ive given him several ultimatums where ive told him i would leave if he doesn’t try to get clean, but even that doesnt work. i just need some advice if this is something i should put my energy into or if it’s just a waste of my time. i love who he is when he is sober that it just breaks my heart whenever he relapses. i don’t want to leave him because i love him so much and when he is sober and clean he’s amazing, i just don’t know what to do at this point.

I just want to share this to see if anyone can relate. I've been addicted to both opiates (oxycodone) and stimulants,(amphetamine,3cmc) and what i noticed is that the stimulant addiction in particular is very strange and scary.

when i used oxycodone daily, I felt constanly rewarded. I knew that as soon as the drug entered my body, everything was gonna be okay as long as it was in my system. The high itself was always pleasurable, and always as rewarding. it makes sense to crave something that makes you feel good.

what doesn't make sense to me was stimulant cravings. It's euphoric for only a very short period of time but mostly incredibly painful. Everyday I had to deal with the paranoia, the constant stress and fatigue,the physical side effect, the feeling of impending doom every second of the day. And even though i knew I was suffering, somehow i craved that suffering. I couldn't stop using but i hated all of it. It's like a cycle you can't escape. I definitely don't like pain, so how could i experience so much pain and crave it at the same time?

I think it's very interesting how different these two experiences with addiction i had are. And i wonder if anyone can relate or has any insight as to what actually happens in the brain during each one of these addictions.

I’ve been using coke for a while now, and I just turned 18. At first, it was always with friends and felt fun, but lately every time I use, I get maybe an hour of a good feeling and then a wave of deep depression hits. Like I’ll literally be in a club surrounded by people, and suddenly I feel empty and like complete shit. I don’t know why this started happening so suddenly. I only need 2 lines before I don’t even want to do anything anymore. I also broke up with my girl 2 months ago, and I’m not sure if that has something to do with it, but every time I use now I just crash hard and feel horrible. Can anyone else relate to this?

My boyfriend is severely addicted to weed since 6 years, smoking daily and abusing other kind of substances such as alcohol or benzos when weed didn't do its job. Lately he has confessed me he had also done cocaine again when none of them worked.

I'm very very concerned about him. All I do is try to help him when he says he's done with drugs and wants to be happy, but then, days later, he changes his opinion and ends up in fights with him very very nervous, drinking and wanting to use so badly he gets even violent (never hit me, not even once, I'm not scared of it, but concerned about his behaviour because he's normally very sweet).

I can't live like that. I'm scared to leave him alone, but I have to continue my life. I don't want to leave him at all, I'm 24/7 concerned because it's when I'm not with him when he does the worst stuffs.

Any advice?? thanks.

My boyfriend (24m) and I (21F) have been together for a year. The past while things have been rough. He suffers from multiple addictions such as gambling, cocaine and alcohol. He hid the cocaine and gambling for a while so I was kind of blindsided when I found out.

I am no stranger to addiction myself (yet have been clean a long time) so I can understand what it’s like and how it affects people their relationships.

He is not doing well. He just lost his apartment because he has not been working much (he owns his own business) and has pretty bad credit card debt. When he is using, which has been a lot recently, he is a different person. He is distant, cold, can be mean, doesn’t answer texts or calls and is just hot and cold. I have been trying to get through to him and tell him how I’ve been feeling but things only seem to change for a short period before getting bad again.

Some examples are: he doesn’t answer my texts or calls even when I know he’s just sitting at home, he’s cold to me and not very affectionate, or he’s super loving and nice (no in between), he won’t talk to me about what’s going on with him and how he’s struggling, he doesn’t like to talk about our issues and seems uncomfortable and either is on his phone during these conversations or seems defensive, blows me off for hours after saying we will hang out (there is more than this but yeah)

I am having a hard time telling if it worth riding out it out and staying to see if things get better or if I should make a plan to leave. I don’t know how to get through to him or what to say. He has not always been like this. When he isn’t struggling as bad he is an amazing guy.

I think he also believes things are somewhat fine because he will work for a few days and then fall off again.

It seems the more I say the worse things get. Am I in an emotionally abusive relationship? I feel lonely, unseen and like my feelings aren’t considered a lot of the time. I feel disrespected. This is just a brief glimpse of what’s going on. Where do I go from here.

I have hope things could get better. I just don’t know how or when anymore. Thoughts are appreciated. Thanks.

Hi and sry for my poor english So i was a big stoner, and still a avid caféine/cigs enjoyer. Now i stop weed, i lack of sleep yes but that was pretty easy. I quit smoking for one year now, no need to pot again but seriously now i live on cigs and coffe. No water(almost) : 10 coffee and 20 cigs a day. Sleep in average 5-6 hours per night, sometimes 4 (not the worst but still) and lose appetite overhall.

Its like i cant sleep enough, and i cant rest propely because too much cafeine.. sometimes im just sleepy for weeks.

im want stop smoking, and quit coffee too. I really want it and beside this could be hard im really determined.

I try here maybe seek some clue from people who stop one or the other.

Seek Therapist is a way of succeed probably but :

how you people deal with lack caféine ? im about headache if i dont sip one coffee daily, and one coffee for me is really misérable..

And Cigs its a second nature for me, i smoke half my life, from college, its hard too think live without.. but still. Any old heavy smoker who can elaborate a bit.. stop progresivly or not ? What work for you, or not ?

Thx for your time 🙏

My partner (M32) and I (F30) have been together for 10 years. I’m going through something really hard right now.

Recently, he went on a five-day bender. During that time, he kept going through my things, convinced I was hiding something. He found nothing, but no matter how much I swore I wasn’t hiding anything, he didn’t believe me. Whenever I cried, he took it as proof I was lying. It’s like there was no way to win.

On Saturday, he tore everything up and then told me he had cheated on me twice while under the influence. I can’t look at him the same after that. He came back home later, and I just spent the rest of Saturday asleep because I couldn’t deal with it.

Sunday comes I go to sleep At around 12 each he was there w me But then the paranoia came back. That night he recorded me sleeping and woke me up at 3 a.m., asking to be honest who was here that it’s either someone was here and I ain’t know or that I knew and was enjoying it accusing me of having someone there with me, saying I was cheating while asleep. He also swore someone was hacking his things deleting things.

I’m truly concerned for his well-being — but I’m also exhausted and don’t know how much more I can handle.

I'm 18 and I've been using for the last 3 years. My docs are pretty much codeine, Xanax, weed and Ritalin. I want to get clean so bad I even did a stint in rehab and relapsed the day after I left. The whole time I was there they told me that my disease is like no other and progresses extremely fast. I'm high right now and honestly hate myself for it. I just wanna stop disappointing and hurting my family. I want to get clean but every chance I get I use and can't control it. I hate myself because of it but I just don't want to live a sober life but I want sobriety ig. This lifestyle of lying to everyone is killing me and Im at the point where I want to kill myself. This is a cry for help please can somebody help me. I'm so sick of being me.

It was either a sick same routine. Either I practiced and then I jumped immediately to my phone just to scroll and scroll and scroll endlessly. Today from now on that would stop. I got motivated yesterday because I was really upset about myself and wonder what life was really about if it was the same thing over and over. Forced myself to walk outside and when I didn’t like the sunlight that much in my face, suddenly I loved it. Just by sitting outside I felt so much better than just sitting in my room all day. I need you guys to remind me that addiction isn’t easy to overcome and that doesn’t mean I should really run back to my old habits.

From now on, I would use a laptop more instead of my phone. I would first practice with what I would need to practice in the morning. Then I would go outside with a book or I would draw. (Maybe later I would have the courage to do something creative) and then in the evening I would use my laptop and my phone so I would really lessen the use of using my phone. Whatever addiction you guys need to overcome you can do this. (Might reply late due to less social media usage but please remind me that addiction takes time to overcome)

I know I need it, but for now I just need someone to talk to, I'm sorry.

First pick was 3 years ago , using white, clear, black, and fent. Went to prison and cleaned myself up.

i’ve been taking my brothers prescription dextroamphetamine and using it recently. i don’t have adhd or narcolepsy or anything for reference. it’s all i think about, i haven’t been able to go a day without it for a while. is an addiction to dexies actually intense, or is it like a “real” addiction? idk it doesnt feel like it

Wondering if anyone else has a similar experience. I’m a cocaine addict, and I started noticing in my addiction that it became hard to snort with my right nostril. I think I mostly used that side in the beginning, so it became blocked up. I thought after I’d been clean for a few months, the congestion would clear up, and it has, but the right nostril still gets plugged up frequently. The left seems to be fine now, it’s just the right that’s bugging me. I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through this and how long until your nose started to feel normal again? I’m thinking of setting up an appointment with the ENT to have them check out my nose.

I (M24) am smoking weed for quite some years now. Started when i was like 18, until I was about 21 I smoked all day, i cam home from work, 1st thing i did was smoke a joint. I realized the effects it had being high all day, so I signed up at a gym. I am working out 4 times a week and since then only smoke in the evennings when I'm done with gym and all the other stuff. I smoke about 5g a month, but I was wondering if people still think it's a problem or would you consider it a moderate usage? I know the moment someone make a post like this, there is something to it. But I'd still love to your thoughts!

He says he’s fine to drive. He doesn’t seem impaired. But is it too risky? I’m conflicted because I have heard people say they drive better when they are lit… but is he putting himself in dangerous

It’s been twenty-seven days since I joined the online rehab program. Honestly, I don’t think I’d be here without it. Before I started, I couldn’t even make it through a single day without gambling it felt impossible. The online rehab has become the structure I was missing. The live sessions keep me accountable, because I know I’ll have to show up and talk honestly about my week. And the PDF materials they send are like my daily survival kit. Today I went back to the chapter about “accepting cravings instead of fighting them.” Reading it again after almost a month, I could actually see how it’s helped me. In the first week, cravings knocked me down every time. Now, I can feel them, name them, and let them pass without placing a single bet. I’m still in debt. I still feel ashamed. But thanks to the rehab program, I’ve got tools and people I can lean on instead of just falling back into old habits. Twenty-seven days clean isn’t a miracle, but it’s proof that this program is working for me. And for the first time in years, I believe I can keep going.