If you want everyone to be happy, you probably ought to recommend they do the things which lead to happiness. But that would require moral courage, which is in scarce supply in the hive mind.
Awards and things are nice, and they may be valuable, but they don't in fact lead to the greatest happiness. The data tells us that.
The ortolan diminishes the value of personal achievement outside of family life. I don't think anyone would have a problem with it if she said something like "I won too" and they were both happy. As it is, it puts down women who want to be career oriented instead of fitting traditional societal family roles.
If someone who trusted you asked what choices regarding childbearing and marriage would lead them to the greatest happiness, what would you tell them?
"You can find ultimate fulfillment and happiness no matter what you do"?
Would that be consistent with truth, data, centuries of human wisdom? Or just the wishful thinking of multi-generations of group-think-powered, ideology-blinded cowards?
Darling, this topic is so simple, and you have so much data, yet you fail to understand properly what the point of my critique is. This is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Or maybe I just misunderstood you at this point.
What I'm saying is not that there is no happiness in giving birth and being a mother nor that anyone is trying to take the joy of motherhood away from anyone.
What I'm saying is, as you put it so nicely, you actually can find ultimate fulfillment and happiness no matter what you do. For some, it's giving birth and being a mother, for some it's being an actor or a scientist, whatever the lady won her prize for. For others it's traveling the world, or living in a shed in the woods. Your data may show that most people who are happy have found their fulfilment in having children, but that is no ground of saying you aren't worthy of happiness just because you didn't reproduce. This "purpose in life" for women to become a mother is just the wishful thinking of multi-generations of group-think-powered, ideology-blinded cowards. Anybody can do anything to be happy. It's not coherent of giving birth, and nobody, not even you, is entitled to define what people should do to find their fulfilment.
You should try basing your beliefs in reality instead of your wishful thinking.
And "darling," you've made a silly strawman here:
Your data may show that most people who are happy have found their fulfilment in having children, but that is no ground of saying you aren't worthy of happiness just because you didn't reproduce.
Everyone's worthy of happiness. It's not difficult to obtain. But it can't be found in every possible choice. That's a delusion, a strong one, a popular one. But utterly wrong nonetheless. All the cope in the world, and all the upvotes, won't change that.
nobody, not even you, is entitled to define what people should do to find their fulfilment.
Except I didn't define it. Data did. Human nature did. Reality did. Centuries of human experience did.
You're the one who thinks they're qualified to define it.
And it's not some scheme to "control women." It applies just as much to men as to women.
I can't see any proof of marriage and children causing the happiness in the articles you provided (last one was paywalled admittedly), only a correlation. You could be putting the cause before the effect; it's just as likely that happy people tend to have kids, not that having kids makes you happy.
Not to mention that there is no evidence that these successful award-winning women are the miserable ones. There's still around 20% of single childless women who consider themselves very happy, plenty of unsuccessful unhappy women in that single-childless category. It also bears repeating, these unsuccessful unhappy women aren't necessarily unsuccessful and unhappy because they're unmarried and childless.
You don't trust the best scientific answers we have on the subject?
On what makes someone happiest? Not just happy, but happiest.
What do you trust? Anecdotes? I can't, with you people. Is science the arbiter of truth, or isn't it? If not science, then what?
I already know the answer: the almighty self. The opiate of the 21-century masses. A delusional guide with no reasoning or curiosity, just desires and the will to fulfill them at all costs.
Willful delusion doesn't bring happiness. Never has and never will.
I don't understand what you're trying to insinuate. It's like you're answering to things you wanted me to say but I didn't. I never put forward any anecdotes, so your spiel literally does not apply to me.
You're describing radical individualism. Individualism is an American cancer that is trying its very best to dig its claws into every facet of every other Western democracy. Thankfully it's not as bad where I live. Yet, unfortunately.
My guy AEI.org is not reliable 😭. You speak of "fact" yet none of those link speak of their methodology or why they are competent. AEI is associated with the republican and have a strong bias. Also, the statistic is not shown in it's entiriety, it's only people who are "very happy". Where's the methodology of the statistic too?
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u/schaukelwurmv Jul 13 '25
Perfectly chosen flair! I cannot express my disgust against the original of this one. Those people don't want anyone to be happy.