It'd help if those same men (and I say this as a cis guy) would stop bringing up men's issues only and exclusively as a whataboutism in response to women's/trans rights/issues.
If you cared about these issues so much, you wouldn't have weaponized them to this extent.
Mens mental health month exists but nobody gives a fuck, including men. This is because society isn't comfortable with men expressing vulnerability or weakness. Unlike women, men are expendable (have no inherent social value), so if they don't take accountability and step in line, no one will care. They have to be the stoic ones in society. This is the way it is, and most men have to accept it.
Mens mental health month exists but nobody gives a fuck, including men
Mens mental health months is a perfect example, actually. It's in June, conveniently overlapping with pride month. And so all you ever hear about men's mental health month is when it's to drown out mentions of pride.
They could have picked any other month. June has had LGBTQ significance since the Stonewall riots in the 60s. Men's Mental Health Week has only existed since 1994 (and was established by a Republican), which eventually turned into a month somewhere in the early 2000s.
It's not about "society" being uncomfortable with men expressing vulnerability. It's about men's mental health issues, which are very real, being coopted by bigots in order to drown out the issues of marginalized people.
Except, as has already been pointed out, hardly anyone even knows that men's mental health month is in June because everyone associates it with pride month.
Nope. Because a handful of bigots have loudly coopted men's mental health issues to silence LGBT struggles, I am now forced to speak out against these practices to weed out the bigots and make people aware of their existence.
Bigots have no place in talks about any kind of social issues, they just serve to poison the well. They don't help the conversation on either side.
The uncomfortable truth is that no one gives a fuck, because men can never be a marginalized group. "Men" as a group can never be deserving of sympathy or special attention. Think about it.
No, I've thought about it. Men, as a group, can be plenty deserving of sympathy or special attention. But what doesn't help is when these issues are brought up not to talk about the issues, but as a deflection or attack or the issues of other groups. As you're doing right now.
Actually you're deflecting. My comments have always been about how society thinks about men's issues, No sudden change here. If you don't want to have a conversation about that, then that's fine.
100% this. All anyone ever does to combat this talking point is mention one-off anecdotes, or hyper exceptions.
But when we look at how most men are treated, the rule is society doesn't give a shit. Hence, why were the ones drafted to go die in a foreign country when society needs a meat shield.
men as a group can never be deserving of sympathy or special attention
Sorry, I commented on your root post that I hadn’t experienced what you described already, but just wanted to add comment here.
This just isn’t true. I and all my male friends experience sympathy, when things happen that affect us people from outside our social circles express sympathy for us. On an individual level, I’d guess I’ve been the recipient of both sympathy and special attention roughly as much as anyone else.
But even on a group level, I also experience sympathy and special attention from other parts of my identity. Yeah, maleness isn’t so often explicitly called out to be celebrated (though it is, just not as frequently) but that’s one of the consequences of us being treated as the default. But I get to participate in other celebrations from the groups in part of. And not just like, inherent identity. Yeah I participate in pride stuff and that’s great, but even on the level of like, entertainment or sports or all the myriad other little things that make up me. People commiserate when stuff we like gets canceled, I get to share hype with friends when our soccer team does well.
Maleness doesn’t exclude me from sympathy or special attention at all, and I’m not sure how anyone could reach that idea unless they are only trying to find sympathy and special attention in maleness.
That's great. Don't let me rain on your parade. I have a very different outllook and experience, and guess what, I'll never tell you you're wrong. I do believe the average male experience is unlike yours though.
I’d ask you to consider the second half of my post, not just my lived experience. Specifically the idea that sympathy and special attention are abundant as long as you’re not exclusively looking for them in maleness.
I don’t want you to feel like I’m lecturing you or being condescending, but I’m not sure how else to write this. I’ve seen what you’re describing (always feeling like you have to play the stoic, feeling deprived categorically of sympathy) but not as some universal quality, but only in my friends who are suffering from depression (male and female, for what it’s worth). I’d disagree it’s most men’s experiences, but I can understand seeing it that way when you’re in. This is stupid because I don’t know you, but I do hope you find something to help pull you out of it.
309
u/TheReaperAbides 29d ago
It'd help if those same men (and I say this as a cis guy) would stop bringing up men's issues only and exclusively as a whataboutism in response to women's/trans rights/issues.
If you cared about these issues so much, you wouldn't have weaponized them to this extent.