r/armenian • u/No_Plankton947 • 18d ago

Armenian dating chase

I have heard of a traditional “chase” in Armenian dating, when a man will “follow” a woman. How long does this tend to last if the girl isn’t interested or has a boyfriend? How does this work what if there was talking involved but from an American who tried to friend zone someone, and it gave mixed messages?

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u/Hayyer 18d ago

The girl is usually playing along…it’s just stalking and kidnapping if she’s not and that’s not going to work Even in the old “kidnapping” sense from old times, the girl always agreed and didn’t want drama from their family…if she really didn’t want the guy, it didn’t go further…. This is excluding the wackos who didn’t understand, usually the girl would be fortunate to have a few brothers/cousins.

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u/No_Plankton947 18d ago

What do you mean kidnapping?

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u/Hayyer 18d ago

Ախչիկ փախցնել was a thing for a long time…some degree still is…basically a couple wanted each other, the brides side said no, so they eloped to the guys house…wedding of some sort usually followed after brides family realized they can’t stop it.

If the girl wasn’t actually interested, nobody played along including guys family, it wouldn’t happen…it was usually only caused by stubborn brides parents wanting someone else for their daughter, but the daughter was cool with what she’s getting.

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u/No_Plankton947 18d ago

Ok, so this common “following” isn’t associated with high levels of abduction….right?

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u/No_Plankton947 18d ago

As in it is a way to pursue a woman- and being persistent is typical?

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u/Hayyer 18d ago

No what I’m referring to is something mutually agreed between bride and groom.

If it goes past that, I mentioned it’s just stalking…

A guy needs to know when she is serious when she says to leave her alone…unfortunately in some cases the guy did not realize.

It all comes down to success rates…1 in 10 guys gets the girl that seemed unavailable, and that gave some idiots the idea that the percentages aren’t that bad. This way some guys got the wrong idea of how the “chase” works. Usually guys should stop after two or three rejections…if they don’t, they aren’t part of the norm and you need to watch out.

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u/No_Plankton947 18d ago

When you say they aren’t apart of the norm, do you mean they are violent?

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u/Hayyer 18d ago

Not necessarily, just unbalanced (psyche wise) or unable to comprehend basic human interactions…this could be actual “psycho” or someone who’s never been told no at home…either way, not a good prospect.

If you’re worried about violence then you should not give them the benefit of the doubt and should be careful, you’re probably right.

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u/No_Plankton947 18d ago

I’ve talked to this person many times. I don’t get violent but I get extremely attached and thinks we aren’t meant for each other- so yes, imbalanced. I told him I have a boyfriend, I tried to friend zone him, but realized that is not a thing that works with Armenian men. I had to get my boyfriend involved to tell him that I’m not interested. He messaged me 3 months later saying a long goodbye message. Then I saw him drive past my house 3-4 weeks later.

Does this sound like someone to fear in Armenia? Or more a guy who is trying to move on/hoping to bump into me or stay on my radar?

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u/Hayyer 18d ago

Probably nothing to worry about…just a guy thinking he’s doing his best to get what he wants…if it’s just the occasional drive by…he’ll likely go away.

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u/Hayyer 18d ago

Ok rereading your original post, if that’s you, and someone is overly pursuing…(assuming you’re in the US) you need to make a very public rejection as loud as you can and threaten if not produce police intervention…some people just don’t get it until it’s loud and clear

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u/No_Plankton947 18d ago

So you think I should call the cops? (Are you in Armenia?)

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u/No_Plankton947 18d ago

I should reiterate he’s not following me but making contact via “bumping into me”, driving by my work, and my house.

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u/No_Plankton947 18d ago

Do you mean they kidnap as a form of abduction? Or something else? It seems like you are using kidnapping in a different way than I am used to.

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u/AmbitiousAnnual255 17d ago

In this day and age chase is outdated. Especially if you are interested in an educated, active woman, the chase is not attractive for them.

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u/No_Plankton947 17d ago

Got ya. But it is a thing, and some people still do it/like it?

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u/AmbitiousAnnual255 17d ago

Tbh I never met a woman who enjoys that, but I need to mention that my social circle is exclusively progressive people where if they say they aren’t interested, they really aren’t. If you are looking for someone more conservative, the chase might still be ok, but not in “following her around “ way, cuz the girls just want to make sure your intentions are serious, thats the point of so called chase. You can try like giving flowers, attention etc and see how it goes, but don’t overdo it, you’ll look like a creep 😄

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u/BillNo2989 17d ago

Bro don't talk about that on English. It sounds funny and scary at the same time. Stalking kidnapping and so on, i love it

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u/No_Plankton947 17d ago

The way everyone is using these words has me bugging the eff out

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u/BillNo2989 17d ago

In English or Armenian?

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u/No_Plankton947 17d ago

English. Are you saying the meaning of these words is lost in translation/different by American context?

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u/BillNo2989 17d ago

I would say those words are just starting to make no sense bcuz of cultural differences