r/armenian • u/No_Plankton947 • 19d ago

Armenian dating chase

I have heard of a traditional “chase” in Armenian dating, when a man will “follow” a woman. How long does this tend to last if the girl isn’t interested or has a boyfriend? How does this work what if there was talking involved but from an American who tried to friend zone someone, and it gave mixed messages?

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u/Hayyer 19d ago

The girl is usually playing along…it’s just stalking and kidnapping if she’s not and that’s not going to work Even in the old “kidnapping” sense from old times, the girl always agreed and didn’t want drama from their family…if she really didn’t want the guy, it didn’t go further…. This is excluding the wackos who didn’t understand, usually the girl would be fortunate to have a few brothers/cousins.

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

What do you mean kidnapping?

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u/Hayyer 19d ago

Ախչիկ փախցնել was a thing for a long time…some degree still is…basically a couple wanted each other, the brides side said no, so they eloped to the guys house…wedding of some sort usually followed after brides family realized they can’t stop it.

If the girl wasn’t actually interested, nobody played along including guys family, it wouldn’t happen…it was usually only caused by stubborn brides parents wanting someone else for their daughter, but the daughter was cool with what she’s getting.

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

Ok, so this common “following” isn’t associated with high levels of abduction….right?

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

As in it is a way to pursue a woman- and being persistent is typical?

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u/Hayyer 19d ago

No what I’m referring to is something mutually agreed between bride and groom.

If it goes past that, I mentioned it’s just stalking…

A guy needs to know when she is serious when she says to leave her alone…unfortunately in some cases the guy did not realize.

It all comes down to success rates…1 in 10 guys gets the girl that seemed unavailable, and that gave some idiots the idea that the percentages aren’t that bad. This way some guys got the wrong idea of how the “chase” works. Usually guys should stop after two or three rejections…if they don’t, they aren’t part of the norm and you need to watch out.

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

When you say they aren’t apart of the norm, do you mean they are violent?

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u/Hayyer 19d ago

Not necessarily, just unbalanced (psyche wise) or unable to comprehend basic human interactions…this could be actual “psycho” or someone who’s never been told no at home…either way, not a good prospect.

If you’re worried about violence then you should not give them the benefit of the doubt and should be careful, you’re probably right.

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

I’ve talked to this person many times. I don’t get violent but I get extremely attached and thinks we aren’t meant for each other- so yes, imbalanced. I told him I have a boyfriend, I tried to friend zone him, but realized that is not a thing that works with Armenian men. I had to get my boyfriend involved to tell him that I’m not interested. He messaged me 3 months later saying a long goodbye message. Then I saw him drive past my house 3-4 weeks later.

Does this sound like someone to fear in Armenia? Or more a guy who is trying to move on/hoping to bump into me or stay on my radar?

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u/Hayyer 19d ago

Probably nothing to worry about…just a guy thinking he’s doing his best to get what he wants…if it’s just the occasional drive by…he’ll likely go away.

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

Okay. That’s what me and my boyfriend thought. You talking about this kidnapping thing had me on the verge of throwing up. Are You in Armenia? Do you see this kind of persistence often?

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

I will say, i talked to him A LOT. And not that I’m trying to “blame” myself…but people do form attachments, so I’m trying to remember that also. But the whole time I told him I have a boyfriend etc, but that er could be friends. Maybe in Armenia a man and woman being “friends” is code for “affair”?

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

And thank you for having this conversation. It’s been on and off for a while now. But seeing him drive up my street freaked me out.

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u/Hayyer 19d ago

Ok rereading your original post, if that’s you, and someone is overly pursuing…(assuming you’re in the US) you need to make a very public rejection as loud as you can and threaten if not produce police intervention…some people just don’t get it until it’s loud and clear

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

So you think I should call the cops? (Are you in Armenia?)

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u/No_Plankton947 19d ago

I should reiterate he’s not following me but making contact via “bumping into me”, driving by my work, and my house.