These prejudices about Japan (but also about other Asian countries)

[u/Hematiquem]

Is it true that: 1- The Japanese are not bothered by tourists but do not like foreigners who come to live there permanently? 2- harassment is very common? 3- social pressure is so important that we cannot express ourselves freely? (Do the Japanese manage to say what they think? To criticize when they don't like something?)

I love the culture of Japan to the point of wishing to live there one day, but I am afraid of culture shock (in relation to the local population), especially in relation to my last question. I am someone who is too honest and says what she thinks (I am an extreme, even for France, I'm not at all conventional), but according to people, the Japanese are the opposite of that... that scares me. I'm afraid that if I go there, I'll only have fake "surface" relationships.

So my second question: is this attitude (“not expressing oneself easily”) common to all Asian countries?

Because my mother-in-law is Cambodian, and she has this (cultural ?) trait that I fear among the Japanese.

Since then I really have the impression that "native Asians" in general have difficulty expressing themselves sincerely, they contain themselves so much that we don't know what they are really thinking about (I find this very troubling).

For example, it makes me strange to never hear about politics (even though it's almost a tradition in France), it makes me strange to never hear criticism, (especially towards their countries but in general too...) No doubt they only criticize with people they trust, but it still makes me strange 😅

In any case, sorry, I hope I don't offend anyone, I know that I know nothing about it and that all of this is just prejudice (that's why I'm asking the question).

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u/Hematiquem's post title:

"These prejudices about Japan (but also about other Asian countries)"

u/Hematiquem's post body:

Is it true that: 1- The Japanese are not bothered by tourists but do not like foreigners who come to live there permanently? 2- harassment is very common? 3- social pressure is so important that we cannot express ourselves freely? (Do the Japanese manage to say what they think? To criticize when they don't like something?)

I love the culture of Japan to the point of wishing to live there one day, but I am afraid of culture shock (in relation to the local population), especially in relation to my last question. I am someone who is too honest and says what she thinks (I am an extreme, even for France), but according to people, the Japanese are the opposite of that... that scares me.

So my second question: is this attitude (“not expressing oneself easily”) common to all Asian countries?

Because my mother-in-law is Cambodian, and she has this cultural trait that I fear among the Japanese.

Since then I really have the impression that "native Asians" in general have difficulty expressing themselves sincerely, they contain themselves so much that we don't know what they are really thinking about (I find this very disturbing).

For example, it makes me strange to never hear about politics (even though it's almost a tradition in France), it makes me strange to never hear criticism, (especially towards their countries but in general too...) No doubt they only criticize with people they trust, but it still makes me strange 😅

In any case, sorry, I hope I don't offend anyone, I know that I know nothing about it and that all of this is just prejudice (that's why I'm asking the question).

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[u/Shiningc00]

Well I would caution against living in it, because the West and Japan, and Asian countries in general are the complete opposites. People underestimate just how different cultures can be. People might think "Oh deep down people are all the same, blah blah", which yes, but the cultures are different.

1, 2, 3 are all generally true, but it depends of course. 1. is something that's generally shared by most conservative-minded people all over the world, but it depends on whether it's socially acceptable enough to "say it out loud". In that case, in Japan it's still generally considered socially acceptable to believe that foreigners will eventually "go back to their home country" one day. Of course, liberal minded people likely won't have any problems.

1. of course depends on place and people, but "microaggressions" against foreigners might be common.

2. is mostly true, it's very rare for a Japanese person to say something honest face-to-face. However, if you're a foreigner then you might be forgiven, like "Oh, because she's a foreigner". But of course, because of this there might be "microaggressions" against you and be pressured by certain individuals for speaking your mind and say things that hit too close to home.

The point is that rude people exist in Japan, just like in anywhere else. And all these "microaggressions" just might just be done by rude people, while most normal people won't try to pressure you or have microaggressions toward you. But the problem is that in Japan, rude people are often not called out, out of fear of reprisals or fear of making the situation/atmosphere awkward. While in the West, it's frequent that rude people are called out for their bad behavior.

Another is that Japanese people rarely act on their own, they will often try to make allies and try to gang up on you. And there are some evil people that will make allies by talking shit about you or spreading rumors about you, etc. And most average Japanese don't have enough of a moral compass themselves, so they just go along with whatever the majority side is doing.

These are some of the things that are really tiresome and a "pain in the ass" in the Japanese society.

[u/Hematiquem → u/Shiningc00]

Thank you very much for your response, I understand well. I find it such a shame that I'm incompatible 🥲 I know that your culture isn't limited to that but I love everything "nerd" (music, video games, anime...). I love your landscape, your architectural style, your clothes... I love your succulent dishes which seem to be the healthiest in the world...

But I admit that ultimately, I find it quite paradoxical that in the "nerd" universe, originality and eccentricity are so valued, while in reality, it is often frowned upon. It gives us a distorted image of Japan while in France we adore you mainly for that 😭

[u/Horace919]

As a neighbor of Japan, I have some understanding of Japanese culture.

1.There is no such thing as a cultural difference issue. If you are a white French person, the Japanese will show excessive favoritism toward you (though they might be too embarrassed to admit it).

2.The unique Japanese cultural trait of "reading the air" (空気を読む) is not commonly practiced by other Asians. (Solution: Don’t speak Japanese too well. If your Japanese is too fluent, the Japanese will hold you to higher standards. In short, if you present yourself as a foreigner and act like one, the Japanese will highly respect your "culture," even if you’re making things up. Never think about "how the Japanese should act." If you try to integrate into Japanese society, it will eventually drive you crazy.)

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