r/askfuneraldirectors • u/princessgee3 • 2d ago
Advice Needed Early Defrosting and Refund
Hi all I’m looking for some help.
Friday was my uncles funeral. To our surprise he arrived in the casket and was leaking some type of fluid therefore he could not be brought into the church for his service which ofc caused my family immense distress. To top it all off we went to do the burial and he had the decomposition smell and honestly this was just a terrible situation all and all for my mum to experience I really want to help her as she paid a lot for his funeral.
The funeral home said and the story is a bit murky, because my uncle died and was buried in France however we are English and flew over so all communication was done in French, anyway they said that this was the first time it’s happened to them but they removed the body from the fridge too early yesterday and so naturally the process began and they just offered apologies and such. They did not offer any refund.
Would it be appropriate to request the funds back for what was paid for the body to be refrigerated? My mum states she paid around 900 euros and she went again this morning to speak with them yet they offered nothing but apologies. I think it’s unacceptable and a refund should be issued. Any advice on how to go about this or if anything similar has occurred. Thanks.
EDIT: some extra context
My uncle died unexpectedly and so an autopsy had to be done. The funeral home said the situation occurred due to the body being taken for autopsy and they removed his insides and this meant they couldn’t remove all the liquids as they normally would? (sorry I know this is a bit confusing - my mum is translating from French which is not her primary language to English which is not her primary language although strong so some things are being lost in translation.) So, move forward and the body was taken out of the fridge for viewing by family. And put back in the fridge again after. I believe there was some discrepancy about a potential second viewing of the body which did not occur in the end (I believe this was planned for Thursday… not 100% sure on this I’ll triple ask my mother to clear it up when I can). Sometime after this point, the funeral home realises the body was having issues. Saturday morning my mum visits the home. They explained to my mum in a way that it’s like you know meat that’s been taken out to thaw and put back in again to freeze it will be a bit funky when taken out which I can understand.
My Uncle died on 9th August and Funeral was 5th September. Basically one month. Also it seemed to me it was a wood casket just by eyeballing.
UPDATE: Thanks all for your support and advice I really appreciate it. I have written them a very firm letter due to be sent Monday 8am, stating that we will need a written account of what occurred to cause such issues on the day of the funeral alongside a refund for the preservation costs. I will look into taking further action if a solution cannot be met.
36
u/Exhumed616 2d ago
Honestly none of that sounds right. The body shouldn’t have been frozen. Our cooling units have gotten too cold before by accident, but not as policy.
One day out shouldn’t have caused that. If he wasn’t embalmed he should have been placed in a body bag before casketing to help prevent the odor and leaking. Theres also something called unionalls which are essentially plastic suits which also help keep fluids in. It isn’t ideal to go to church with someone who has been deceased for a month, but with care it is doable. This possibility should have also been discussed with your mother and they might have wanted to suggest an embalming to preserve someone that long.
I’m so sorry you and your family has to deal with that on top of the grief. Not very professional at all.
9
u/princessgee3 2d ago
Thank you for the points you make. I will bring this up in the email I will write. I understand that is not ideal to wait so long but I feel like as a company, it’s literally their responsibility to prevent stuff like leakage. Worse deaths occur and people can be taken into a church at the end of the process. If it was a fluke or a mistake thats okay but at the end of the day we didn’t pay for mistakes or insolvable flukes (I mean within reason lol… a fire or power outage sure haha)
18
u/TheRedDevil1989 Funeral Director/Embalmer 2d ago
That’s insane! I’m so sorry for you and your family… I would be mortified if I was working at this firm.
48
u/Hoglaw1776 Funeral Director 2d ago
Absolutely, speak to the manager. There should be a pretty significant discount especially if it’s their mistake.
7
u/catturnips 2d ago
Unless this funeral home is following protocols from 200 years ago, this should not have happened. Embalming can be done after an autopsy. It's more difficult, but definitely can be done. Odour is more difficult to deal with than leakage. There are a variety of embalming accessories to help deal with leakage, like liquid-absorbing powders, plastic garments, etc. This firm is not owning up to their lack of decedent care.
8
u/giddenboy 2d ago
In all the years I worked in the business, we never froze bodies. We had a refrigeration unit to keep them refrigerated if there was no embalming performed but not freezing. I think there's a wide spread belief out there that it's common practice for funeral homes to freeze the bodies. Maybe some do, but I would think it would be a rare case.
6
u/princessgee3 2d ago
The use of “freezing” might be me miswording on my part. All I know is my mum paid 900 euros for the fridge unit but for some reason he came to the ceremony with his body decomposing yet we were unaware there were any issues.
7
u/Otherwise_Candy_8412 2d ago
There’s so many tricks around this, covering the body in packs made of cotton covered in formaldehyde to dessicate the tissues, even the worst leaking body can be contained in unionalls, think of it like a hazmat suit for the entire body, absorbent powders placed inside then taping off the wrist bands and ankle bands of the gown.
This should never have happened, and although in another country than me, this is a true travesty to the funeral industry.
4
5
u/Dry_Major2911 2d ago
This is not appropriate and the funeral home should have offered a refund. I am in the USA, and I can assume France does things a lot differently yet at the same time they are not a third world country. First step would have been to check the remains before promising the family anything. They should have been transparent that he was decomposing and a viewing was not recommended.
5
u/Funeralbarbie31 2d ago
Being in the UK we have similar waits at times for funerals and as anyone in this business will be aware once a body begins to purge you can do nothing to stop this. I have on occasion had bodies that have significantly started to breakdown, however there’s absolutely no excuse for leaking. This is the reason for coffin liners and body bags. If a body is leaking through the bag we double bag, I’m so sorry you had to witness this. As for being removed from refrigeration, we liked to removed coffins on the morning of the funeral or they developed a wet/layer of condensation going from cold to warm environment, it can also be unnerving for pallbearers to carry a freezing wet coffin. Please don’t let this lay, push further for answers because it’s no way acceptable.
63
u/arii-_- 2d ago
Removing the body from refrigeration, even without embalming, should not cause him to leak fluid to the point that the casket couldn’t be brought into the church in such a small time frame. That’s very odd - what other circumstances were involved, if you don’t mind me asking? Was there a significant delay between his passing and being discovered? What sort of casket was it? Wood? Metal? Wicker?