r/askfuneraldirectors • u/HelloInterwebz • 19h ago
Advice Needed Can I have my mom’s titanium hip after cremation?
The funeral director we’re working with said “no I cannot get that for you”.
Everything I’ve read said it doesn’t melt at the temps that cremation runs at. I’ve seen google images of the hip part sitting at the bottom of the incinerator. I don’t care how weird it is, it’s part of my mom and I want it.
Is this normal? Are families not able to get these parts back after cremation?
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
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u/lonniesgirl 19h ago
Maybe regulations vary from state to state? I’m in Texas and it’s legal here - there’s even a section on the cremation authorization that can be filled out with the specific parts that are requested to be returned, then the next of kin signs it. Any FD’s in Arizona who can answer?
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u/ryanicole1981 19h ago
I got a 20 lb bag of metal from my father (hip replacements, steel rods from motorcycle accidents, etc)
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u/ModeInternational979 4h ago
That is so cool (I hope you know what I mean), what have you done with it?
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u/Celtic159 Funeral Director/Embalmer 18h ago
Totally legal here. No reason not to give it back. Nothing biohazardous after hours at that temperature.
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u/Popular_Amphibian730 19h ago
I’m in FL and I was asked if I wanted my dads hip replacement after cremation. I said no but wish I had now
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u/AshleyAsks Mortuary Student 19h ago
We absolutely give NOK metal implants if they request them. They’re not pretty, but sometimes people want them. I don’t understand why they wouldn’t be able to get them for you. They have to be removed post-cremation before the cremated remains are processed.
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u/Hot_Image_1439 18h ago
My grandpa told me years ago when I was a child that he wants us to use his knee replacement titanium to make some lamps lol. He has since had his hips replaced too. Does anyone know if this would be possible to do if I got them back?
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u/NurseKaila 17h ago
One thing I’ve learned from various antiquing adventures is that you can make a lamp out of anything.
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u/Vera_Vicious Apprentice 17h ago
I’ve always been told we give the family back whatever they ask for.
Funeral home may be telling you no because they plan to recycle the metal along with implants families didn’t ask for.
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u/testudoaubreii1 Crematory Operator 16h ago
I totally give this back to people if they ask. It's honestly not a big deal. But I'm also not familiar with your state's laws. I've also given people back shrapnel and bullet fragments that I've found, usually in veterans, and that carries a lot of meaning.
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u/Axeplayer56 18h ago
I’m not in the funeral business, but I know a thing or two about orthopedic surgery. The funeral director could easily give it back to you if they wanted to. The plastic insert will melt and burn up, but the shell, head, stem, and any screws used to attach the shell to the acetabulum will be just fine. It is no longer a biohazard once it has been through the incineration process.
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u/Knitsune Funeral Service Administrator 19h ago
Go somewhere else, there's no reason they shouldn't give that back of you want it.
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u/giddenboy 16h ago
With him saying no...that would make me a bit uneasy and skeptical of what they're doing because those titanium parts are easily visible and usually just go in a recycle bin.
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u/PinkPearMartini 1h ago
I was wondering the same thing.
The place that cremated my Dad let us see behind the scenes, and I saw the screen they use to sift the solids out before placing the ashes in the urn.
It makes sense it has to be picked out of the ashes and can't go in the urn... so why can't they just give it to you?
Either they're dead set on selling it for scrap, or they're one of those places that doesn't actually cremate and does whatever else with the body.
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u/The_Craig89 Funeral Assistant 12h ago
UK crematoria have paperwork that the client fills out during the arrangement, and it has a box at the bottom you can tick, stating you wish for any and all metals to be returned.
It's 100% doable
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u/onyxS4int 16h ago
In my funeral home we give it back if they want it. The rest gets “recycled.” Our recycling partner gives us gifts based on how much scrap we send them. For example, we just got a new processor (cremated remains grinder) from our recycling partner as a “thank you gift.”
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u/BabyNOwhatIsYouDoin 5h ago
What’s the monetary value on a processor? Is it a specialized piece of equipment or like… a vitamix you slap a “NO SMOOTHIES CREMAINS ONLY” label on?
Just curious what the conversion rate is on that kind of exchange. We talking something like, we give you whatever spare metal we find that families don’t request back for the next x years, plus all the pop cans from the break room and you give us a processor every other August? Or is it more of a punchcard system- fill this bin, get a punch, tenth one wins a prize! I’m honestly so curious lol
I’m assuming you’re not able to recycle the metal for cash for ethical reasons?
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u/onyxS4int 5h ago
They go for about $12k, no punchcard, no metrics, no weight taken.
Prosthetics even used are actually worth a lot. Some parts are re usable and even the scrap value is higher than if it was made of silver.
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u/jamiej27 13h ago
I have a fake heart valve made of titanium and they’ve said my mister can have it upon cremation!
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u/speckledhen74 7h ago
My brother has my dad’s hip implant sitting on his bookshelf. It was no trouble at all, he asked for it and they said “sure!”
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u/sami_theembalmer 14h ago
It became a liability for us to simply give metal back upon request. More than one family that claimed we didn’t give back the entirety of their loved one’s metal, pieces were missing, etc. So, if metal is requested, we have that family do a witness cremation and pull out which ever metal pieces they want after watching us sweep out at the end. They don’t stay for the entire duration, just watch placing into the retort and then are called back when it is safe to sweep out+handle. The request isn’t unreasonable, but they may just have policy against it.
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u/cheyannese Funeral Director/Embalmer 16h ago
It honestly might be a policy for that funeral home/crematory. The FH I work for recently changed the policy to not return the metal unless a doctor comes to retrieve it before the cremation. Similar to dental implants needing to be removed by a dentist.
The reasoning was due to our management going to a state convention and speaking with others about the liability of it. The pieces can char and get really sharp, and it's not always possible to remove all of the bone fragments. That small fragments of things (like metal) can sometimes fall into cracks in the floors and come back up at later times and mix with a different cremation.
Not saying I agree with all of this, I've given metal back a couple times when requested before our rule change. Just giving the potential reasons why they might not do it.
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u/Livid-Improvement953 17h ago
Has the cremation already taken place?
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u/HelloInterwebz 16h ago
No not yet.
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u/TemperatureOdd187 16h ago
Go somewhere else. Your request is not unreasonable and widely accommodated for.
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u/Livid-Improvement953 15h ago
Thanks for answering. Yes. This is weird. The metals really have little value once they have been cremated so I can only guess that maybe they are trying to protect you from yourself, and assuming that it's not something you want to see? The pieces do come out tarnished from the process and sometimes with little bone fragments stuck on. Some people would be weirded out by that. Just a guess though. I would call back and really impress on them that it is your wish and at least give them the opportunity to tell you why it's not allowed considering that many other places you have had contact with are willing to honor your request. I worked at a crematory for near 10 years, very high client volume, and though it wasn't the norm, we did get requested to return the metal often enough. And it's not difficult.
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u/manicbanshee 6h ago
This is not an unreasonable request. The most hands-on part of cremation is removing metals for processing. If you are unable or unwilling to change funeral directors, ask to speak to the crematorium.
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u/lazers2416 4h ago
This must be common in the states. I can speak for Ontario, I’ve had one family ask and the crematorium said no, they will not return metal.
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u/gatorsuze Funeral Director/Embalmer 3h ago
Ask to talk to a manager. Sometimes people say no as a default for whatever reason (inexperienced, allergic to doing extra work, etc.) and you may get a different answer from someone with more experience/creativity.
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u/Tight-March4599 18h ago
Spouse had hip replacement, Doc said it had a serial # and if he was cremated then would be returned to the manufacturer. But, this was 15 years ago.
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u/Axeplayer56 18h ago
Nonsense. The manufacturer no longer owns it once it is implanted.
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u/FriedFreya 17h ago
I’d be fucking horrified to know my titanium prosthesis was destined to be installed in another human after my death—or, y’know, even just the possibility of being the recipient of such a prosthetic, that’s also terrifying.
We humans are often superstitious, it just seems like… idk, bad luck or something? to do that sort of thing. If what they said were an actual practice, I think it would have made some drama in media and whatnot by now 🙂↕️ And if it is a thing: WHAT. Why are we just hearing of it now? 😭
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u/Axeplayer56 17h ago
Calm down, FF! They aren’t re-implanted. Sometimes manufacturers like to get them back to study how the stresses applied to them while implanted in a patient affects them long term. But, if it’s been heated up to the temp of the sun, all of that goes out the window.
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u/FriedFreya 16h ago
Okay, whew 😮💨 that’s all very interesting though! I never really considered what sort of work could be done on a “pre-loved” implant. I figured such items would be removed in autopsy prior to cremation, just in general. Is that the case? Or do some / most staff just… not remove it, and everything goes into the creator? Feel free to ignore my curiosity 🤭
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u/Axeplayer56 32m ago
I doubt they are ever removed post death. They are extremely difficult to extract from the bone.
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u/CrankyCryptic Curious 14h ago
It's probably based on the funeral home's procedures, unfortunately. It may also be based on what kind of retort oven they use for cremations. I'm sorry you can't get the hip piece back, though.
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u/HotSwitch9980 10h ago
Look at your cremation authorization paperwork. ARS doesn’t have it specified besides “alternative disposition agreed in the authorization to cremate”
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u/stealerofsloths 2h ago
Do funeral homes make extra money from recycling the metal parts? Could that be why they said no?
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u/PinkPearMartini 1h ago
We learned when my grandpa passed that you are the customer and you absolutely can take your business elsewhere if they start screwing around with you.
Funeral homes are accustomed to the grieving family just accepting whatever arbitrary rule or fee they put in place.
When they start saying you can't do this or you have to pay for that, just get on the phone and find someplace else.
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19h ago
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u/DeltaGirl615 19h ago
Scrap metal is recycled not sold. Depending on the state, it's illegal to sell it as it falls under grave robbing, basically.
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u/HelloInterwebz 19h ago
Can I request as the next of kin that they do not do that?
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u/kneezombie 19h ago
You should be able to call the crematory directly and have them set it aside for you! It's weird that the funeral director said no outright, but they might not believe in it, or are just after that recycling kickback.
Ontario, Canada here. I have a friend who kept her parent's... I think it was a knee replacement, after they were done. I got to keep my mom's nose ring after she was cremated, but it was small enough to go unnoticed among the bone chips. Found it while sifting the cremains to add to clay!
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u/Golbez89 Funeral Assistant 19h ago
This is the answer. We don't have our own retort so we use a third party. We wouldn't get that back from them. However if you talk with the crematory directly and if they approve it, call the funeral home again. If they give me any pushback you can tell theme "You said YOU could not get it for me. The crematory says THEY can. I would like it delivered along with my mom's cremains."
If they still don't want to do it, ask the crematory what other options they can offer such as picking it up yourself or have it shipped. They may charge a shipping fee, but if they're going out of their way to do something the funeral home should be taking care of, then I can't really blame them.
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u/geminspace 19h ago
That’s an ignorant comment, are you even a funeral professional?
OP, ask your funeral director. Could depend based on where you live.
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u/TheRedDevil1989 Funeral Director/Embalmer 19h ago
I have gotten a lot back for people, most recently spine rods and a knee replacement, grandson was gonna weld it into a shifter I guess….