My son unalived himself earlier this year. It happened in prison. He put a sheet around his neck. I just got the death certificate and it says, "hung himself with a rope around his neck". Is this proper verbiage? What happened to asphyxiation? Or....I dunno....this seems like street talk.

An acquaintance had a relative die about three weeks ago, and there still has yet to be a burial or cremation. Acquaintance says it's because of the deceased's small life insurance policy and other finances that they'll simply have to wait and that others are getting "priority".

Obviously I don't know the whole story. I suspect the family simply doesn't yet have the money for the service package they want and so everything is delayed.

But it did get me wondering: is there a "wait your turn" in funerals and if so how is that determined?

I'm F23 in N C, retired community and I've been offered a job position at a corporate company as a funeral assistant. I'm one exam away from being as licensed funeral director so I've decided to try to get my foot in the door (I know I'm very late in the game I guess) the manager said the pay is $12/hr and $75 per removal i make on the job, it's only part time for now she's says until another job position open up, doesn't promise work hours and Im waiting to hear back so I can get a back ground check and drg test. I have a degree in mortuary science and almost 2yrs of experience in the field as an funeral director and embalmer assistant, because of my volunteering and traineeship. Would it be appropriate to ask for more pay? How can I bring this up? I don't want to sound money hungry, but realistically with that pay I won't even be able to pay for rent. Also if you are also in N C if you don't mind sharing what you started off making and what you make now, I don't want to be made a fool here tbh

Hi all I’m looking for some help.

Friday was my uncles funeral. To our surprise he arrived in the casket and was leaking some type of fluid therefore he could not be brought into the church for his service which ofc caused my family immense distress. To top it all off we went to do the burial and he had the decomposition smell and honestly this was just a terrible situation all and all for my mum to experience I really want to help her as she paid a lot for his funeral.

The funeral home said and the story is a bit murky, because my uncle died and was buried in France however we are English and flew over so all communication was done in French, anyway they said that this was the first time it’s happened to them but they removed the body from the fridge too early yesterday and so naturally the process began and they just offered apologies and such. They did not offer any refund.

Would it be appropriate to request the funds back for what was paid for the body to be refrigerated? My mum states she paid around 900 euros and she went again this morning to speak with them yet they offered nothing but apologies. I think it’s unacceptable and a refund should be issued. Any advice on how to go about this or if anything similar has occurred. Thanks.

EDIT: some extra context

My uncle died unexpectedly and so an autopsy had to be done. The funeral home said the situation occurred due to the body being taken for autopsy and they removed his insides and this meant they couldn’t remove all the liquids as they normally would? (sorry I know this is a bit confusing - my mum is translating from French which is not her primary language to English which is not her primary language although strong so some things are being lost in translation.) So, move forward and the body was taken out of the fridge for viewing by family. And put back in the fridge again after. I believe there was some discrepancy about a potential second viewing of the body which did not occur in the end (I believe this was planned for Thursday… not 100% sure on this I’ll triple ask my mother to clear it up when I can). Sometime after this point, the funeral home realises the body was having issues. Saturday morning my mum visits the home. They explained to my mum in a way that it’s like you know meat that’s been taken out to thaw and put back in again to freeze it will be a bit funky when taken out which I can understand.

My Uncle died on 9th August and Funeral was 5th September. Basically one month. Also it seemed to me it was a wood casket just by eyeballing.

UPDATE: Thanks all for your support and advice I really appreciate it. I have written them a very firm letter due to be sent Monday 8am, stating that we will need a written account of what occurred to cause such issues on the day of the funeral alongside a refund for the preservation costs. I will look into taking further action if a solution cannot be met.

So Im gonna go on a bit of a rant here, Im currently enrolled into a college course that allows students to explore various pathways and I will be doing this for the current year. Biology, chemistry, and an intro to health care as I have plans next fall to enroll for Funeral director class 1 embalming at a college a few hours away. Im currently looking into resources for Thanatology to study on my own time, and if it would be a good idea to volunteer at a Hospice to get some death care experience. All thanks in advance!! 🥰

Hi everyone.

I am about to make some decisions for my mom along with my sister.

Mom is on hospice care currently. We have a funeral home in mind.

In the past few situations where we dealt with death, we had my mom helping us so this is hard. When my husband died at 22 in the Army, I literally had someone holding my hand for everything, so this is harder.

What questions should we be asking the funeral home directors besides the obvious like costs?

Thank you so much in advance.

I'm finishing my last year of high school, and I'm thinking about going to school for funeral science in Milwaukee. I started wanting to go into it my freshman year, but now that I'm nearly graduated I'm reconsidering if I'm the right person for the job.

I've always wanted to use my future career to help people. I don't mind irregular or long work hours, I would actually prefer it compared to a normal 9-5. I would love the job security and being able to move anywhere in the country and still be able to pursue my career.

But I'm worried about my family, because they don't want me pursuing funeral service because it is taboo. I'm worried about taking the exams to be licensed since I live in Wisconsin and I read that it's the hardest state to get licensed in.

I just want to know if anyone else felt as anxious as me going into this, and if there's anything else that I might not expect going into funeral service.

I just obtained my dads ashes 6 years after his passing, I guess his wife has moved on and figured they best come to me, an only child.

They are still in a temporary urn. I purchased a brass urn with a small opening on the bottom. In Canada, how much would a funeral home charge approximately to transfer the ashes for me? And can this be done on the spot kinda thing with an appointment or do I need to drop off everything and come back? Also wondering if they can place a bag inside the urn and transfer them into it? Is this better than directly into the urn? Thank you for your insight.

Hi, I (17f) will be going to college next year and taking all my necessary prerequisite classes so I can go to mortuary school. I've gotten my foot in the door by working as a transporter for my local funeral home. I live in a rural area so I'm sure you can assume what the funeral homes are like out here, all family-owned and ran by older men.

Today I was chatting it up with the funeral director and just talking about my ideal employment situation once I am out of school. I would like to work at a larger funeral home in the city where I can share some of the load with my coworkers. This job is naturally very demanding and in no way shape or form do I expect to work normal hours all the time, I want to help people. I just want my sanity as well. I can see myself being on call for, say, two weeks out of a four week month. I am okay being needed during the holidays. I would just ideally want those other two weeks to be normal hours you know? Like an alternating schedule. I am so passionate about this field and the people that I will be able to help, but I still want to have a life. I am going to be a young adult. I want to have the energy to hang out with my loved ones. My director practically laughed in my face when I expressed all of this, and said that it just isn't the nature of the job. I should be expected to just go go go 24/7. I almost feel as if I am less than for wanting these things. I feel like maybe I am weak and not cut out for these dreams that I have. I haven't had any support from anyone, not even my parents. And when I talk to professionals in this field they all laugh in my face and act as if I am some idiot for not giving myself wholly. I don't know. I need to hear opinions on this

I was recently in human gross anatomy and the bodies we worked on were heavily embalmed. We would have to spray the bodies with the preservation fluid so it was definitely stronger than the average body just prepared for a viewing, but the formaldehyde smell was overpowering and stayed in your nose forever. I haven’t noticed that smell at the viewings I’ve been to but that being said, I’m also not getting too up close and personal with the decedent. When bodies are embalmed for viewing, do they have a strong formaldehyde smell? If there is a smell, how do you get it to be unnoticeable?

I am currently working full time in a field entirely unrelated, but I have wanted to do some kind of work with the dead since I was a child. I’m very passionate about this field. I’ve never been to college, but I did graduate HS. I have zero experience in the mortuary field. What would my first steps be here? I live in CO, and there is only one school to attend for this. I’ve seen some recommend getting a job in a funeral home before committing to school, but I’m nervous to leave my full time job to commit to that before doing school.

I have also seen that prerequisites are required- how would I get those? Could I attend the same college that has the mortuary program and once i’ve completed the prerequisites, apply for the program? These answers may seem obvious, but I really know nothing about college requirements and how the programs work. Please help!

So, long story short, a lot of things happened around the time that I graduated that prevented me from taking my boards (ie., death of a sibling, extreme financial hardship, & abusive relationship). As the title says, it has been 4 years since I graduated and I don’t have all my textbooks (lost most of them when leaving aforementioned abusive relationship & haven’t been able to find affordable replacements). I’m still highly interested in taking my NBEs, but I am aware of the fact that I need to study practically everything all over again before even attempting to do so. With that being said, I’m kind of at a loss on how to study in this situation. I reached out to The Conference to see if I could gain digital access to their suggested textbook list if I provided proof of my degree/transcript & academic references from my alma mater but never got a response. I’ve also scoured the Internet Archive, LibGen, and Anna’s Archive for PDFs of my missing textbooks but haven’t had luck.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do here? Thanks in advance.

Does anyone have experience with Legacy Memorial Group, Legacy Cremation Group, Legacy Funeral Group, Legacy Lane Urns? Perhaps associated with Broylman Memorial or Anthem Partners?

Looks like Legacy Cremation was previously called Heritage Cremation.

It looks like they outsource their calls for removal, transportation, cremation and mailing.

I kind of miss embalming!

I ended up getting laid off by my firm earlier in the year and due to a personal situation have not returned to work, and weirdly some days I find myself missing embalming.

I didn’t hate it while working, but it wasn’t always something I looked forward to (especially when the bodies were a challenge), but I do miss those easy straight cases!

As one of my coworkers put it, there was some solace in having the prep room to yourself where you weren’t bothered with other tasks and didn’t have to worry about the phone or people walking in.

Just had to come on here and say it, no one IRL would understand as I don’t know any funeral directors hahah.

I wasn’t sure what other group I could ask. I’m not a funeral director but I do make headstones. I want to decorate my office for spooky season but am finding myself maybe a little hesitant because I don’t want to be insensitive. Obviously I’m not going to put fake bodies or anything like that, but how do you juggle holiday spirit with grief stricken families? Pics of the exterior of my office incase anything immediate comes to mind (whether ideas of things to do, or definitely do NOT do). Appreciate any help!

Hello there!! I live in Oregon, and I am going to apply for a part time apprenticeship at my town's funeral home soon, but I have never had a job before so I am super nervous about interviewing and am trying to learn as much as I can to be prepared. I did do a job shadow at this funeral home once however, so I think I have a little bit of a foot in the door when it comes to applying. I have a lot of questions and was hoping I could get at least a few answered on this subreddit.. I am a bit new to reddit, so hopefully I am doing this right, but here goes:

Will I be doing public speaking as an apprentice?

What is some advice for speaking with a client who is upset or angry, or simply grief ridden?

How do I express both professionalism and compassion while consoling a person in grief?

Is shedding tears considered unprofessional and something I should avoid at all costs?

I am a little shy and find speaking to be sometimes difficult thanks to growing up during COVID, is there any advice I could use to be more comfortable with speaking naturally?

Is it required to wear make up as a woman to be professional?

What length should I keep my nails and what colors are acceptable to paint them?

What hair styles are considered professional and acceptable?

Is dyed hair okay as long as it is a natural color like red, black, or blonde?

What type of earrings/jewelry are allowed?

Are there other colors besides black that are okay to wear?

One of my white button up shirts is slightly see-through but not overtly, so like if a guy was wearing it I’d imagine it’d be okay. However, I am a woman, hence I have to wear a bra underneath. The bra I have is pristine white, but you can still see the straps a little as well as part of the tops of the cups. My mother says this is okay when I asked her, but I have my doubts and am wondering if I need to wear a vest or something on top just in case?

What should I specifically avoid wearing?

As a woman, are ties considered okay or tacky?

What should I research before the job?

What sort of questions will they ask me at the interview?

Is there any other advice or important information I should know about before beginning to work at the funeral home?

Sorry this is a bit long. If anyone is willing to answer any of these questions or give advice, I would appreciate it tremendously. Thank you to anyone who reads this.

I am unsure if this is allowed here but was curious to know if anyone is interested in work at a family owned firm.

Location: Florida

It looks like there has been an ownership change at the funeral home / cemetery.

The new owner is saying the old owner was very sloppy with paperwork. He isn’t willing to honor anything stated in emails only what is in the contract. The emails state embalming is included with what I paid for.

The new owner charges 395 for refrigeration (48 hours) and 200 a day storage after that.

This was added after and was not on contract. I’m trying to locate a price list from the old owner. Do the have to go with the old price list or the new policies/price list?

I stated in emails I wanted to prepay for everything upfront 4 years ago.

Hello funeral professionals! I am in Virginia--my spouse is military and we may retire/be moving to Massachusetts or New York state--and am in the very early stages of planning my funeral. I am 49.

I searched and didn't see this asked before.

I've read that pets experience grief. I have a cat and a dog and I am my cat's person and he is my best fur friend. As I am working out the details for pre-paying and preplanning for my funeral (and their eventual end of lives/funerals), and while doing so it occurred to me that should I go first, my furry family members may be confused. I think our cat is pretty darn smart but the dog is who I am most concerned for.

I think if my pets were allowed to see my remains that the cat would at least understand what's happened. (I'd like to think our dog would also understand but I'm not so sure about him!)

Has anyone ever made arrangements for their pets to have visitation? Is this even thought of or done at all? (I'm going to take a guess and say no)

How would I even plan for this? I'm assuming just ask the funeral home I'm considering and make sure they're okay with it or allow pets to briefly visit? I' in no way saying I'd want them there for the entire viewing, just a few minutes so they can see me, smell me, and get some kind of closure.

Thank you in advance for any advice and thoughts you have on these questions.

Hey there, this fall I will be graduating from a state college (NY) with my BA in Anthropology and a minor in Communications. My long-term goal is to be a funeral director, but outside of my bachelors I don't have a specific funeral service degree or any licensing. I know the degree is necessary in my state, but I'm not looking to take out more student loans anytime soon (hopefully I can pay for it myself after a few years of working) and I was wondering what my immediate next steps should be in trying to get a Big Girl Job? I'd be happy just answering phones at a funeral home if it means getting one foot in the door. Luckily, I live near a medium-sized city, so there's a handful of homes I can apply to. I guess I'm asking you all if hiring a freshly graduated 20yo is something you would even entertain, or if I absolutely should go get the required degree first. Is there a position for someone like me at a funeral home? What should my next steps be before I graduate in December? Thank you so much!!!

Hey y’all, I don’t know if this is the right place to ask but I thought I’d give it a shot.

About 8 years ago (October 2018), my best friend passed away. Nobody’s ever been able to tell me how, when, or where, if he’s been cremated or buried. I’m 99.9% sure he passed in California, he’s not originally from this country but I don’t see why he wouldn’t be buried in the U.S.

How possible would it be to be able to find him? I really only have that information and his first and last name

EDIT: Thank you for your kind and helpful comments. U reallu appreciate it 🤗

Hi, I'm wondering if anyone could point me in a direction of what on earth we could say after the service as a final committal at the graveside for my dad's service. My dad is only 66. His death was unexpected, tragic after a long time of trauma and grief and subsequent alcohol addiction. My poor poor dad. He was a staunch atheist, problem solver, scientist brain, ND, music was his life (house, hip hop, soul mostly) he wasn't your average 66 year old for sure! I have no idea what could be said. And to add, I'm terrified of this final moment. We will have a celebrant with us

I’m a 27 (almost 28) year old artist from Latinoamérica. I’ve always loved art but now I have a boring desk job that has made me numb, I can’t even draw because I don’t have motivation.

I didn’t study to be in the funerary industry because, (it may sound bad but it’s what I felt/feel) I felt too stupid to do it. I’ve had ADHD and depression and can’t retain information easily, have strong emotions and difficulty remembering names and even things I like.

I constantly read books about the industry and stories of people participating in it. I don’t know if I’m romanticizing it, I never have seen a dead body in person, only behind my screen. But I really like the idea of giving people a caring and respectful funeral. I wish people didn’t see death as something so horrible, but myself have never lost someone human. Just my dog, and I suffered immensely as I saw him as my brother. But maybe I’ll feel different once I lose someone human?

I also think, isn’t it too late to get into it? I’m almost 28 and my only knowledge are facts of books and videos. I studied art… what studies should I need to be on it? How should I start? Am I being delusional about it? I feel childish and bad about my fascination with the dead, they are not funny, but I feel a spark when I read or talk about it.

EDIT: I want to make clear that i have a personal, horrible and dreadful urgency with having my life in order while I’m young. I know it’s ridiculous. I crave stability and I haven’t had it for much, and as an artist there’s always the strange pressure to be amazing, but young. It’s not as I feel like at 30 I’m a grandma, is just and anxiety of having everything in order as soon as possible. I’m just tired.

Hi, I'm from Brazil and I'm 16 years old. I've always been curious about thanatopraxy, but unfortunately, I haven't found a Brazilian community about it. My father worked as a necro-makeup artist in a funeral home for a long time.

I recently told my mother that when I'm 20, I want to take a course to become a thanatopraxy artist, and she's even supportive. My cat was cremated three weeks ago (I keep his ashes), and that also piqued my interest even more.

To begin with, what's essential to learn in this field? I've been researching a lot about the human body and everything related to it. I've never been scared by gore videos or images of dead people; I've always been serious about this. I don't want to be different in this post; I just want to truly learn about thanatopraxy.

(I know some people will say "you should be studying and not worrying about this", but bro, it’s just a personal life choice. You gotta respect it, and it’s good to start learning early 👍🏼)