r/askgaybros • u/this_is_no_where • 4d ago
Expanding taste in guys?
When I first came out, I came out as bi. At that time, my taste in guys was very narrow, and mostly was limited to femmes, twinks, and jocks. I never jerked off to straight porn, but did feel romantic attraction mostly to women. I was already married to a woman when I came out and we decided to try an open relationship (her suggestion). Soon after we did that, I found my romantic attraction shifting to guys as I had sex with and dated more guys. Now my interest in all different types of guys has expanded, not just to a narrow type anymore. Interest in women was already pretty slim, and now basically nonexistent. Whereas before I couldn’t find any guys attractive who weren’t fitting a specific type, I now can find something attractive in many different types of guys. It’s like the more experience I have and the longer I’ve been out, the more my tastes have expanded. Anyone experience similar?
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u/Big_Dependent_8212 3d ago
Now in my mid 30s, everyone is hot.
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u/this_is_no_where 3d ago
Yes, my taste definitely started expanding around my mid to late 30s
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u/RoyalPain4094 3d ago
Oh yes. There's a world of beautiful guys out there, each wiith his own beautiful features. Your world is growing!! Have fun.
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u/The_Karate_Nessie 2d ago
I’ve noticed this too!! I had the same story (except it all happened while I was young so I want married).
I’ve noticed that my taste in men has broadened to the point I don’t have a type, and also I’ve narrowed down what I consider “ugly.” Obviously just like pretty, ugly is also in the eye of the beholder, however I’ve slept with many men I’ve considered and still consider ugly… I’ve noticed those guys always make me feel a lot worse after anonymous hook ups.
It’s so important to have standards, however those standards are personal to you. If you think that only the guys you’d typically see in porn are attractive, that’s okay! If you like guys who are chubby! That’s okay too! If you are turned it by an array of body types then, you guessed it! That’s also ok.
The important thing isn’t who you find attractive it’s how you treat yourself and others. If you sleep with someone you find unattractive you’ll beat yourself up over it and it has such a negative impact on your mental health. If you fetishize a curtain body type or shame people who don’t fit your definition of attractive, than you’ll loose out on genuine relationships because of your overwhelming sexuality and probably just end up with a cycle of enablers.
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u/I_Am_Very_Busy_7 4d ago
Definitely happened to me as I grew up more and matured. Obviously physical attraction is still important, don’t get me wrong, but I eventually realized the importance of how the person makes you feel. As in, they make you feel happy, comfortable, safe, you enjoy their company, etc.
It’s amazing how attractive a person can be, even if they aren’t what you maybe imagined in your brain appearance-wise at one time, when they show up for you, make an effort, and make you feel valued and cared about. It’s a lot less fleeting in my experience, whereas when I was very strict to a type, I ignored a loooot of red flags because “look how pretty they are, who cares if they treat me like dirt” lol.