r/bipolar • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

Living With Bipolar Dating and meeting people

A quick intro and a few questions. I don't date and haven't primarily because of my religious upbringing (not religious anymore) and my bipolar disorder. I am sick of being alone but do not want a long term relationship bc I worry about becoming an abusive partner. Also I am lonely but have a hard time finding myself being a flirt when I have bpd looming in the background.

  • how did you meet your partner? Post or prior diagnosis?

  • how long did you wait after being hospitalized or hypomania before putting yourself out there

  • is it worth dating with this diagnosis or you prefer to be alone?

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3

u/Terrible-Pin-1107 1d ago

I met my partner at a part time job I had. I told him my diagnosis pretty much right away because he seemed to be a gentle spirit and understanding after talking to him for a bit. I was right and we are together 5 years later. It was a bumpy road because I met him only a few months after my last hospitalization in 2020 but all is well now. I am 31 so if things ever ended with him for some reason I’d probably choose to be alone.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Thanks for opening up. I appreciate your insight.

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u/Top_Guava_2401 1d ago

i was in a relationship ages 17-21 and i “just had” depression and anxiety. we met through mutual friends in high school. i broke up with him, and a couple months later i had my first manic/psychotic episode, it was traumatic. i’m 24 now and haven’t had luck in dating since. having schizoaffective bipolar is incredibly debilitating, and has taken a blow to my already low self esteem. work on building up your identity and confidence and you will be able to find love. that’s what i’m saying to myself.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Thanks for opening up. I feel you... i am figuring out that my identity is hard to pin down these days

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u/lizardpolicy Bipolar 1d ago

Met my wife through a mutual friend I worked with at a coffee shop when I was 21. I was diagnosed but unmedicated at the time. I told her pretty much immediately and she has been incredibly supportive from the very beginning. She encouraged me to see a doctor, get on meds, and start seeing a therapist. She even had a horrible experience with an ex who she describes as “crazy” and that still didn’t deter her. We’ve been together 8 years and counting!

I also have CPTSD, so I find any conflict in relationships terrifying and whenever we have even small disagreements, my mind jumps to “it’s over. She’s leaving you.” I know that being with me is not always easy on her, especially during episodes, but she always chooses to stay. She never makes me feel guilty for the way I act when I’m manic/depressed, but equally, she pushes me to help myself however I can. She knows what helps me and what doesn’t and she’s very gentle in her approach to helping me realise when it’s time to seek professional help.

My point is, there are good, loving, supportive people out there who won’t disregard you because of who and how you are. I luckily have never been on dating apps, so I can’t speak to that, but my advice is don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. You will find the kind ones. They’re out there, I promise.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Thanks for sharing and the advice!

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u/Savannahks 1d ago

I like being alone now. I get what you mean about being the abusive one. That happened to me years back. I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it sometimes. I was horrible. I’ve learned I’m very selfish and I admit it. Because of this I’ve chosen to not date. I’m enjoying my time doing whatever I want. I have come out of my shell as well. I am pushing myself to do more in life.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Thanks for sharing. Glad you are enjoying your time more.

1

u/smuness Bipolar + Comorbidities 1d ago

Met my partner on okCupid after being diagnosed bipolar 1 for roughly seven years. Was always very upfront with my diagnosis. It’s not like it’s temporary, so I figured a long term partner should know from the start. We’re married now, primarily for insurance and tax reasons.

Dating really blows though. 0/10. Not a fan.