r/bullcity 1d ago

phone out in a movie theater not universally considered rude anymore?

I went to see Jaws at the Carolina Theater this afternoon. This old boomer guy kept getting his phone out to text. Eventually I griped at him and he just yelled at my wife and I and told us to mind our own business. We were then getting shushed by other patrons (rightfully, sorry) so we dropped it.

Is the phone out during a movie not considered rude anymore? Every single movie is prefaced with “turn phones off, put them away, don’t talk.”

122 Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

214

u/wahoozerman 1d ago

It is universally considered to be rude. People just don't care about being rude anymore.

90

u/krendyB 1d ago

This is one of the main reasons I don’t go. Every time people are shamelessly texting

63

u/Longjumping_Ad2359 1d ago

People give less of a shit about how they affect the people around them more than ever. I will say the last time I went to the Carolina theater I had a bad experience with people my age but it wasn't phone related.

2

u/BullCityLife 1d ago

People have more ways to not give a shit about the people around them more than ever. Selfishness will never go out of style.

54

u/ncphoto919 1d ago

This is when you get a manager.

1

u/Just-Sea3037 12h ago

Karen?

Kidding, I agree w/ you.

33

u/NCticklepickle 1d ago

I haven't had as much trouble at the Carolina as I have at other theaters. Particularly during Retro. My husband and I watched The Fifth Element there, and it was an amazing experience.

20

u/TriangleTransplant 1d ago

People going to Retro or the specialty screenings know that they're going for the "cinema experience" and tend to be better followers of movie theater etiquette.

7

u/Tall-Ad-4398 1d ago

Exactly. I've never had an issue with phones at Retro movies (talking sometimes) or phones at the Chelsea in Chapel Hill. People who go to these cinemas are film fans who want a good experience. That being said, I haven't had issues at AMC 15, but that's probably because of the films I've gone to see there (e.g. Sinners) - movies for people who want to see movies.

1

u/inpatient20 1d ago

One of my favorite movies.

18

u/-Mikey2Toes 1d ago

The worst part is instead of a ‘sorry, it was an emergency text’ or something he goes off with the mind your own business nonsense….

16

u/AlludedNuance 1d ago

The social contract died in the pandemic.

25

u/Comfortable_Head_437 1d ago

It’s faaaar away, but The Alamo’s policy is to remove anyone using a phone during a movie. I wish they’d turn that old MLK AMC into one! Pipe dreams aside, I haven’t had phone issues at the Carolina, that’s a total bummer for you.

10

u/BlackJackfruitCup 1d ago

Really, it would be best if all theaters adopted Alamo's phone policy.

6

u/Comfortable_Head_437 1d ago

Agreed. Those bigger chains would rather not add any hassle or chase away any potential dollars.

8

u/ninamirage 1d ago

Currently driving home from Alamo and this got us talking about how big of a difference it makes at Alamo that you can just put a card up to have someone come talk to them vs other theaters you have to get up and leave to find a manager. Even if other theaters do have the same policy it’s a lot harder to enforce it. The drive is definitely worth it to us

3

u/FattyMcTitterson 22h ago

Durham needs an Alamo!! Over an hour combined drive time to see a movie is just too much for us, personally. We would frequent Alamo if it were in town though.

2

u/djkidna 18h ago

100% this. I would love it if Alamo could take over the Stadium 10 Northgate Mall theater, or the AMC Classic Durham 15

1

u/Zolomun 2h ago

We trek to the Alamo when it’s a film we really care about specifically because of this policy.

6

u/BlackJackfruitCup 1d ago

If you don't go for the manager route at first, I would make it clear to them and anyone in ear shot that the phone is distracting you and ruining the movie. If they don't listen, then get the manager. They are either ignorant of how their behavior affects others or don't care.

If they are oblivious, then a polite pointing out should do the job. It's when they don't care, you're going to have to bring out the heavy artillery (Haughtily pointing out they are being rude or escalate the matter to management)

8

u/Jaydiar11 1d ago

It’s the world we live in now, say something and risk becoming a news story or say nothing and sit there seething. An 80” tv and stay at home is cheaper in the long run then attorney fees and a large popcorn and drink.

7

u/MortAndBinky 1d ago

It's very rude. Tell Jim next time.

18

u/PersimmonSubject5601 1d ago

Don’t go to Southpoint. Everyone had their phone out last time I went, it was crazy. I understand checking the time, but AMC explicitly has a bumper that says “don’t text, don’t talk, don’t ruin the movie”.

5

u/oh-botherWTP 1d ago

I only go during weekdays at a like 12 or 2 showing for this exact reason. The ticket discount helps, but there are barely any people in the theater.

9

u/Grognard-DM 1d ago

Unfortunately, talking to the offending patron is often disruptive to you, and to other viewers too.

Leaving to get a manager further disrupts your own viewing experience, and likely the experience for others, when the manager comes back in to deal with this issue.

I don't know of a good solution that 'gets back' your enjoyment of the film. Even complaining afterwards (in the hopes of encouraging theaters to do a better job of policing their crowds) doesn't address the poor behavior of this person at all in the short run.

4

u/shozzlez 1d ago

Not since Covid it seems, no.

2

u/djkidna 18h ago

This was happening before Covid as well, though it certainly worsened after. It started when theaters stopped having ushers, and has just slowly eroded over time.

9

u/dianas_pool_boy 1d ago

Fuck that demand he stop.

2

u/makesomepaper 1d ago

How do you suggest they do that?

5

u/HasNoTime 1d ago

The way I would have gotten out MY phone, turned on the flashlight and pointed it inches away from his eyeballs! (Oh, ooops! My mistake.)

How incredibly boorish of that jerk.

3

u/sandmyth 1d ago

this is why I spent a few hundred on my own projector and popcorn machine.

3

u/DeaconoftheStreets RIP Pompieri 1d ago

It obviously is but you need to tell a manager instead of trying to 1v1 the guy yourself. The CT staff would’ve taken care of it for you.

3

u/olov244 1d ago

modern society is trash, welcome to the world we created. it will only get worse

3

u/Aromatic_Tomato_6800 1d ago

I was at a Broadway show where the tickets cost hundreds, and a middle aged man had his phone out texting throughout. When my partner nicely asked him to put it away, he became combative and threatening. Many people are becoming selfish and rude, oblivious to others.

2

u/Jack_Forge The North West 1d ago

Full brightness is some bs.

2

u/ItsMorbinTime69 1d ago

Go complain to an usher and get him kicked out

2

u/Busy-Negotiation1078 20h ago

It is rude. I unfortunately sometimes have to pull my phone out in a theater to adjust volume on my hearing aids, so before the movie starts I make sure I turn the display brightness all the way down and hold the phone down low so it hopefully doesn't bother anybody.

4

u/Willing_Glasses_7609 1d ago

It’s annoyingly common but I’d probably advise against saying something. People have been attacked and even murdered after getting into altercations about texting in movie theaters. You never know who has a screw loose.

1

u/Ricericebaby0 1d ago

I'm sorry he chose to yell at your wife.

That shows you how weak he truly is and how pathetic.

I would have gone off on him for disrespecting her.

3

u/BlueEyedSpiceJunkie 22h ago

I take it you were there?

She can handle herself fine. She gets more mad at me for coddling her than she would at me for not defending her. 🤣

0

u/GavalinB 1d ago

Generally, I put my phone away during the movie because I want to enjoy the movie. But I have two kids at home with a babysitter. Am I going to ignore the phone if she texts with a question about bath or bedtime? I am not. But that's the extent of my engagement with the phone.

1

u/Dangerous_Speed_3008 23h ago

I noticed a change in theater etiquette post Covid and it drives me crazy. I try go during less busy times these days because it ruins my experience

1

u/missing_10mm_sockets 22h ago

It’s exactly why I don’t go any theaters anymore.

1

u/zoeconfetti 21h ago

Former movie theater manager. Please alert the staff when this happens.

0

u/randonumero 13h ago

I don't imagine it's not considered rude in a crowded theater. I'm definitely guilty of it but I'd never get pissy with someone for asking me to put it away or take it outside.

1

u/Gullible-Customer560 9h ago

Why I go to Alamo. Bit out of the way, but worth it

1

u/UnholyGr11 8h ago

Sometimes I want to keep a spray bottle filled with water and just spritz the rude people bc words just don't cut it anymore

-12

u/strungrat 1d ago

It is but not as bad as calling someone a boomer.

4

u/CapitalPunBanking 1d ago

The literal name for their generation? Jesus what a generation of snowflakes boomers are. 

-57

u/gonzagylot00 1d ago

Sucks to get owned by a boomer.

16

u/BlueEyedSpiceJunkie 1d ago

What’s that even mean?

-24

u/Relevant-Net1082 1d ago

I mean I guess you could be super gangster and stand up and fling the fucking phone.

But what if his daughter is about to give birth. What if he's a physician. What if he's a pilot getting called off of reserve.

OP, we need to have more sex with our spouses and sleep more so we don't get so easily triggered.

Cringe and rude? Indeed.

Roll your eyes and move on....

15

u/Laringar 1d ago

If his daughter is about to give birth, what the fuck is he doing at a movie instead? Any of the situations you listed are ones where he should leave the theater to deal with his phone, and not disrupt the experience of others.

Stop justifying shitty behavior.

8

u/Zestyclose_Tree8660 1d ago

Then step out into the hallway. It’s not complicated.

1

u/BlueEyedSpiceJunkie 17h ago

Exactly. This was my first suggestion that if he has to be on his phone then please leave the theater. I even said please.

7

u/Guessthisisforever 1d ago

Wowza. Your comment sounds like it could be written by the theater rude dude

-6

u/Relevant-Net1082 1d ago

The rude dude was being an ass. He just may have had a reason. The OP was an ass.

Giving idiots the benefit of the doubt is maybe something of a bygone era.

Going to defcon 5 so casually is.....at best reactionary. At worst looking for a fight.

9

u/catchy_phrase76 1d ago

And the idiot could have gotten up and stepped off to the side hall and kept watching while texting.

They chose not to.

Dudes a dick, and giving benefit of the doubt works on first offense not offense #x....