I rang the bell

[u/Iced_Jade]

I rang the bell today!! Final cancer treatment finished. From Stage 4 to NED in 2 years is shocking. We're incredibly happy, but it's all so surreal still. You guys got this.

[u/reddituser-10000000]

Congrats! My dad has the same cancer type in his nose, it came back after a year hopefully it’s not spread anywhere else, we are doing a PET scan tomorrow. This just gave me more hope about my dad’s situation. Can I ask how strong were you mentally, or what you did to stay strong? My dad is already thinking negative things after hearing this news. What did your friends and family do to make you feel better? Once again, congrats and thanks for sharing this!

[u/Iced_Jade → u/reddituser-10000000]

I'm honestly not the best person to ask for how I stayed mentally or emotionally strong. I am VERY bad about just not dealing with things. I used to be in a caregiver role, and any type of emotions could set off the person I cared for, so I got really good at putting everything on the back burner and then leaving it there. I did have a lot of support from friends and some from family. I kept myself as busy as possible. I worked on crafts and caught up on TV and movies and books when I didn't have the energy for other things or people. I'm in therapy now trying to deal with all the emotions and everything.

Mentally, I knew I was privileged to be seeing the head of research at one of the top 3 hospitals in a major US city. I put my full trust in the doctors and staff. I did research things and have a few friends who also knew about healthcare, and they helped explain things I didn't understand. At the time, we were under the impression that I would be on chemotherapy for the rest of my life, however long that was. Right about the time I came to terms with the fact that I was essentially dying, the scans came back clear.

My treatment was basically a three week cycle. I'd go in for labs, my appointment with the doc, and to get the first 2 medications and they'd set me up with my third, which I brought home with me for 4-5 days in a pump. I was fine for those days, but it was almost instantly after they disconnected the pump, and I got home that I would be very sick for a few days to a week. During that week, I didn't do anything strenuous. No cooking, no cleaning, etc. I survived. Then, the following week, I'd start feeling a bit better and would see other doctors I still had to see or would spend time with friends, do laundry, etc. Then, in the final week in my cycle, I would clean, finish any laundry I didn't get done previously, and cook/prep for the coming week when I'd be super sick again.

I don't know if any of this helps at all. I hope your dad will be ok. I think a positive (or at least neutral, but not negative) outlook is a huge chunk of the battle. Don't try to push him if he's not comfortable. You can help by making things easier. Help with cleaning or cooking. My treatment wrecked my mouth for a while, so soft foods were key. Chemo produces so much laundry because everything, including sheets and blankets and towels, needs to be washed more often. If there's a hobby that doesn't take a lot of energy, you could get him stuff for that. I did a lot of adult coloring and cross stitch. Sometimes, just being there is enough.

[u/reddituser-10000000 → u/Iced_Jade]

Thanks and congrats once again. That actually helped a lot.