r/cancer • u/ladybug_06 • Jun 23 '25

Patient Rejected because of my cancer

So I thought I would post this story on here because I figured you all from this sub would understand. I’ve heard stories from people where guys have left or turned women down because of their breast cancer but I finally experienced that. He didn’t reject me because I had cancer instead he rejected me because he couldn’t deal with the fact that I have no boobs because I chose to go with an aesthetic flat closure. I was told by him “I’m just a guy..” and “I have a list of things I look for in someone and this is part of it…” it just blows my mind to come across people who are not empathetic towards us and who do not realize that I did this to protect myself and my body. And just because I did not get reconstruction does not make me any less of a woman. This man had the audacity to lead me on tell me all of these things but the moment I tell him of my cancer he decided to “keep his options open.” He tells me he prefers a b/c cup on a girl. Like the audacity of this man. I have never met someone so self centered before in my life. I’m just sharing this because I know you all can relate to this in this sub and truly know the pain and heartbreak we have gone through. But it does not make us less than!

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u/Sea_Hurry_1951 Jun 23 '25

Abandonment rate of men is 67% with women being 13% for cancer patients. I got a pamphlet when I was diagnosed. I think it has a lot to do with so many men being Dismissive Avoidants. Do a DEEP dive on YT and itll all suddenly make sense. I just refuse to deal with them even as friends anymore. Life has gotten orders of magnitude better, support for my cancer journey drastically improved.

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u/ladybug_06 Jun 23 '25

Fun fact he said he used to be an avoidant but now he’s “secure” yeah no you’re not buddy you’re still avoidant.

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u/Sea_Hurry_1951 Jul 12 '25

Ya, they like to say that because they make 1-3 changes but what they fail to realize is it's across every vertical of life. Not just "did I bolt on my relationship or cheat"

I have a couple friends working through it and they have said that a few times until I point out the 10x they totally DA'd in the last 6mo and it screwed them or did damage and then they go. "Oh..."