r/cancer • u/ladybug_06 • Jun 23 '25

Patient Rejected because of my cancer

So I thought I would post this story on here because I figured you all from this sub would understand. I’ve heard stories from people where guys have left or turned women down because of their breast cancer but I finally experienced that. He didn’t reject me because I had cancer instead he rejected me because he couldn’t deal with the fact that I have no boobs because I chose to go with an aesthetic flat closure. I was told by him “I’m just a guy..” and “I have a list of things I look for in someone and this is part of it…” it just blows my mind to come across people who are not empathetic towards us and who do not realize that I did this to protect myself and my body. And just because I did not get reconstruction does not make me any less of a woman. This man had the audacity to lead me on tell me all of these things but the moment I tell him of my cancer he decided to “keep his options open.” He tells me he prefers a b/c cup on a girl. Like the audacity of this man. I have never met someone so self centered before in my life. I’m just sharing this because I know you all can relate to this in this sub and truly know the pain and heartbreak we have gone through. But it does not make us less than!

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u/False-Spend1589 Jun 23 '25

Because of a super long story that I’m not gonna get into, I’m only flat on one side. I was once dating a man, who I had only ever kissed at this point, and he asked me to wear a shirt when we had sex. I told him I wouldn’t be wearing a shirt, because we are not dating anymore. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone not wanting to be with me because they don’t like how my body looks, but there is something wrong with belittling me or making me feel badly about something that I had no choice over. We’re not gonna do that in this fucking house.

24

u/ladybug_06 Jun 23 '25

Exactly. I get it if you don’t want to be with me because of me having had cancer and it’s too much. However, to tell me it’s because I don’t have breasts which I didn’t choose to get rid of voluntarily. I had to to save my life.

7

u/SnooBeans3982 Jun 23 '25

Yeah, even if that’s really how he felt, he definitely should’ve just kept that to himself

9

u/ladybug_06 Jun 23 '25

Yes he should’ve. It’s insensitive to say it to someone’s face who has gone through trauma.

10

u/SnooBeans3982 Jun 24 '25

Yeah it’s not normal. Don’t take it personally, he’s just a dick. For example, if I wasn’t attracted to a woman for whatever reason, I wouldn’t sit there and tell her “yeah, well your nose is too big and your forehead is shaped weird and etc etc “. It’s especially weirder to say that to someone struggling with cancer. I’d say u dodged a bullet. + if it makes you feel any better, there’s plenty of naturally flat chested girls & it’s really NOT a big deal for most men lol

3

u/ladybug_06 Jun 24 '25

Yeah I know. I used to be flat chested almost before all of this so I definitely know I dodged a bullet