r/cancer • u/ladybug_06 • Jun 23 '25

Patient Rejected because of my cancer

So I thought I would post this story on here because I figured you all from this sub would understand. I’ve heard stories from people where guys have left or turned women down because of their breast cancer but I finally experienced that. He didn’t reject me because I had cancer instead he rejected me because he couldn’t deal with the fact that I have no boobs because I chose to go with an aesthetic flat closure. I was told by him “I’m just a guy..” and “I have a list of things I look for in someone and this is part of it…” it just blows my mind to come across people who are not empathetic towards us and who do not realize that I did this to protect myself and my body. And just because I did not get reconstruction does not make me any less of a woman. This man had the audacity to lead me on tell me all of these things but the moment I tell him of my cancer he decided to “keep his options open.” He tells me he prefers a b/c cup on a girl. Like the audacity of this man. I have never met someone so self centered before in my life. I’m just sharing this because I know you all can relate to this in this sub and truly know the pain and heartbreak we have gone through. But it does not make us less than!

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u/cronediddlyumptious Jun 23 '25

I'm sorry this happened to you but I'm also glad you didn't put any more of your positive energy into an unempathetic asshat.

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u/ladybug_06 Jun 23 '25

Haha nope! He wanted to be friends and he was upset over the fact that I told him no. And he was like “wait so you’re telling me we are never going to talk again.” To which I said nope because even a friend would be empathetic towards me and what I’ve been through. 🤷‍♀️

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u/yaboibeasty Jun 23 '25

You could have possibly had a great friendship with him, he was willing to be friends and maybe that could have grown to something more. Things take time and understanding something you've never been apart of, well its takes even longer. My wife is still adjusting after everything we've had to go through, things aren't the same and we've had to change things for the comfortability and understanding of each other.

Cancer has completely changed my life and has put me on a ride I'll probably never get off of, but having somebody there to help me and to teach them has been the best part. I ask myself what if I had just abandoned all my family and fiance because they had trouble understanding and adjusting to the changes.... I'd be lonely and upset that nobody understood me, and I'd blame them for rejection when in reality I was rejecting them and myself from the people who cared and wanted to be there.

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u/DoubleXFemale Jun 23 '25

I would hope OP isn’t so desperate for friends that she needs to scrape the bottom of the barrel with a guy who can’t even spare her feelings on this matter.