Officially Dying

[u/No-Permit-9519]

Hi,

I haven’t posted on here since last year, but my prognosis has gotten much worse and I was just told today that I’m officially out of options. So I’d like to just vent a little bit.

The tumors grew so much these past two weeks that they caused a pericardial effusion, and my oncologist said I’ve reached the end of the road. I can try more chemo, or I can live out however long I have left just managing my symptoms until I eventually stop breathing or my heart stops beating. I’m not scared of death, but I am sad that I’ll leave my loved ones behind and there’ll be stuff I miss out on. I have such bad FOMO especially since treatment has kept me from being at so many events and doing normal young adult things. It’s really annoying to have to make this choice.

I don’t know what to do, I’m leaning on stopping treatment but I’m scared of the pain that might come from that. This sucks. But I’m also tired of constantly suffering only to keep getting sicker, so maybe it’s a good thing. It’s just very demoralizing to hear that you’re going to die and there’s nothing anyone can do to help you.

[u/yahtzee777]

I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how you must feel, I send you peace and strength during this time. 🫂