r/cancer Jul 24 '25

Patient The tears won’t stop

Hi all. A brief intro…51 yo female diagnosed with oral cavity cancer in 2004 - non smoker, non HPV - 22 surgeries, partial glossectomy, missing lower teeth due to cancer surrounding the tissue and thus had to be removed. Talk with a noticeable lisp and mainly existing on a liquid diet Currently undergoing immunotherapy (Keytruda)

I am struggling lately more so than I ever have during my 20+ year journey with this horrific disease. I used to lie to myself that I was not chronically ill. I maintained my positivity until I was no longer able. My only child left for college last fall and it’s fair to say the wheels have fallen off. I kept it together for 18 years so my daughter wouldn’t be scared.

The Keytruda has made me far sicker than the cancer ever did. In addition to playing side effect roulette each day when I wake up I cannot stop crying. I am angry at the cancer and I hate how small my world has become (basically shuttling between my house and treatment). I think my husband stays because he feels badly for me. We once had a great love that has settled (I think in large part to my illness) into a roommate situation. I feel like I am just waiting to die and as stated the tears won’t stop. I have the most amazing friends yet I am still so lonely. I feel as though not one person in my orbit truly understands what I am going through. I feel so alone and so scared.

163 Upvotes

89 comments sorted by

View all comments

13

u/Extension_Sweet_9735 Jul 24 '25

Have you talked to your Dr about antidepressants? I started mine about a month ago and I think it's helped. I'm so sorry your going through this. Cancer is a beast! Sending you internet hugs and happy vibes!

9

u/Lovie17AZ Jul 24 '25

Thank you so much for responding. I had been on them years ago but definitely open to giving them another go. Hugs. 💛

4

u/Swimming_Anything_27 Jul 24 '25

It's very necessary, it will work s2

3

u/Extension_Sweet_9735 Jul 26 '25

Give it another go. Pick up a new hobby. Or an old one. Find something not cancer related that makes you happy. Sending happy thoughts your way! 💜