r/cancer • u/TheEvilSatanist • 18d ago

Patient Just got diagnosed

This weekend was absolute chaos and clusterfuck. I went to the ER on Saturday for what I thought was a persistent stomach bug.

After a CAT scan of my stomach and a battery of tests this weekend, I was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic cancer.

They did a biopsy Sunday, to see if they can determine where the cancer is coming from.

I also have another CAT scan coming up to see if it has expanded into my chest and lungs.

I really have no idea what I'm looking for, I'm still trying to process all this.

Also, I am a Satanist for a reason, so please save all the "just give it to God" or etc bc it's not something I personally believe in.

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u/Kamelasa 18d ago

My neighbour works at the local cancer centre, I just learned. She also praises the use of healing singing bowls in the UK where she's from. Sure hope I don't run into her shinyhappy woo face during my upcoming treatments.

Also, here's an interesting short piece about death, "how doctors die." In short, they take it on the chin, but most people are just in denial. Sat Evg Post article

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u/False-Spend1589 18d ago

I also hope you don’t run into your neighbor, and if you do, I hope you’re able to remain as calm as possible in the cancer center, haha. Thank you for the link to the article, I’ll definitely check it out. I’ve always said that I prefer to be realistically optimistic about my own life/inevitable death with/from cancer.

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u/Kamelasa 18d ago

Yes, I'm practising my pleasant person act and meditating because I need my wits about me with these people who like to drop me through the cracks. I guess imagining running into her is good material for coming up with both jokes as well as how to approach it. My optimism consists of these statements: maybe I'll never have to work again and I can enjoy my remaining time, and if the pain is too much, I know how to remove myself from this life, so I won't have to take the lengthy and uncertain official route.

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u/False-Spend1589 18d ago

Just read that article. Have to add no CPR to my wishes, and update my mother, who I’m sure will be horrified. Honestly, it would probably kill me anyways, because my entire sternum and rib cage is full of cancer. I think that’s a great statement to have in your back pocket, and I definitely think it’ll keep your neighbor and her sound bowls the hell away from you.

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u/Kamelasa 18d ago

Another one I've seen is "do not resuscitate" or DNR - something different than just a heart issue. I'd rather not be kept in a coma for months/years, given that my life is utterly useless to me at that point and could well be very painful both mentally and physically.

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u/False-Spend1589 18d ago

My mom knows I don’t want that already. I’m fine to a point, but definitely not past that. Someone else close knows too, in case by some rare chance my mom passes first. And would let my Dad/sister know. My mom’s my POA though.

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u/False-Spend1589 18d ago

I’m sorry to hear you feel that way about your life, but even as a stranger, I certainly don’t want it to be painful to you either.

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u/Kamelasa 18d ago

I meant it's useless "at that point" that I'm in a coma. Thanks, though for not telling me my life is better than that and just accepting whta you thought I said.

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u/False-Spend1589 18d ago

Oh okay. And you’re welcome. It’s not my place to tell you how to feel about your own life. But I am thankful to hear I was interpreting it wrong.

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u/Kamelasa 18d ago

It’s not my place to tell you how to feel about your own life

It's the first time anyone's ever said that to me. Usually they violate that - law I'd call it. Truly, thanks. :)

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u/False-Spend1589 17d ago

Welcome! 🙂