Sorry from a friend. Yesterday, my brother ended his pain.

[u/saskatchewankinobi]

I find it very hard to share this with you all. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I've had the best big Brother anyone could ever ask for. My best friend for my entire life. He knew everything about me and I him. As most of you know he got cancer a little over 4 years ago, he beat it the first time but it came back, he tried chemo a second time and it almost killed him, I don't think he ever fully recovered from it. Despite the fact he was living with cancer he continued to work along side me almost everyday, if it wasn't for his wife, my sister and her Loving Family and her constant care of holistic medicine, juicing, making him eat right and being a constant loving companion I don't think he would have lasted as long as he did. He was the toughest guy I know. He didn't want me to "advertise his death" as he put it. But he was/is too important to me to say nothing. As I know many of you that Loved him and were in some ways touched by him. I'm not going to sugar coat this. He asked that I didn't share all the details but I need to set the record straight. Last Thursday he was at the lake working on a cabin, something he Loved to do, he all of a sudden felt as if he might die so he drove home praying the entire drive home, he got home woke up the next morning blind in one eye, his body was and has been covered in tumors from head to toe, in his words he said "he could feel himself dying" he gathered us together Friday at Moms house and told us of his pain and his plan, his kids protested, actually called the police trying to stop him from what he wanted to do. We were all able to hug each other, cry hard...still crying as I write this. We all were able to tell each other how much we Loved each other and right all wrongs through years of brotherly fights and Love. He chose to live and die by his choices. He didn't want anyone to know how exactly he died but I do want to set the record straight. Instead of forcing his family to watch him suffer any longer and watch him continue to deteriorate he chose to gather everyone, tell them he loved them, let all of us do the same. Brad built a beautiful farm with Heidi, he has a wonderful family and grand kids that absolutely adore papa. He cried with me for hours telling how much he didn't want to die but he didn't want to live in the condition he was slipping into. I said are you sure and he said "no I'm scared" and I said "I'm scared I don't want to lose my best friend and big brother." We pleaded with him that we would take care of him sick but that's not what he wanted. He didn't want to go out like that. As we hung up the phone I said call me back if you need to and he said he probably would. So yesterday morning I got a call about 4:00am I thought he was calling me to talk...but it was Heidi telling me she found him. I am telling the truth because some that didn't know what shape he was in said he was selfish and he was not. He wanted to spare those he Loved the pain of watching him slowly die. How many people get the chance to gather their Loved ones and tell them how much they are Loved and will be missed. So sometime during the night or yesterday morning he walked down to the foot of the cross he had built for their wedding, kneeled down and took his own life. Some may say it was selfish but you have to understand the whole situation. To me, his life long best friend and brother, I think it was the bravest thing he ever did. I don't know that I could have done the same. Please pray for my Mom, who most of you might not know lost, our step Dad about a month ago, so my prayer warriors please pray for her and his wife my sis Heidi her family and her kids and grand kids that will so very much miss their Bpa. I was going to stay quiet about this but my grief is beyond me so please pray for me as well my friends. I have no doubt he is in Heaven our Faith had grown so much over the years. He was excited to be able to see Our Dad, brother, all of his dogs he missed so much...I hope he was greeted with open arms from so many who had gone before him. He didn't want a funeral but we are going to have a celebration of life for him in downtown probably next Thursday. I will post the address and details as soon as we know exactly. Thank you for listening thank you all for the great memories you shared with him and I. I Love you all and am thankful for each and every one of you. If you would like to share any photos of him or memories of him here please do. I Love you Brother. I miss you. I can't stop crying. A part of me died yesterday as well.

[u/Glittering_Depth_578]

Sending hugs to you and your family. I admire you so much for sharing 🤗

[u/Disastrous-Tea8546]

I truly believe that you brother chose a courageous and selfless ending . I'll bet that he was a rock of a man and a hell of a brother. I have watched so many friends and family members pass from cancer and I hate this disease. I only hope that I can show the same courage at my end. Prayers and love for you and your family.

[u/wspeck77]

Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing something so personal.

[u/Lovie17AZ]

So truly sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Your brother sounds like he was one in a million. I hope in time the memories you have of him will bring you comfort. 💛

[u/Ok_Cycle_5311]

He did it on his terms. I understand his choice.

[u/Kamelasa]

I'm new here, so never interacted with your brother. But I've thought about death and how I want it to go. I dk if it might make you feel a tiny bit better, but here's a short piece about "how doctors die." Essentially, they take it on the chin, and don't drag it out with months and years of painful deterioration, generally. Like your brother's choice. Sat Evg Post article One thing I know, you and your family are going through an incredibly tough time right now.

[u/Ok-Mechanic-5128]

A brave man. I am very sorry for your loss.

[u/f_yeahprogrock]

Sorry brother

[u/Loneyteddybear78]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing something so personal as this. Prayers and tears is all I can do but thank you.

[u/jAuburn3]

Much love and thanks for sharing this story, RIP

[u/ThatOldDuderino]

I’m so sorry for your loss. He’ll be in my prayers.

[u/2ndChanceAtLife]

I do believe that humans should have a choice to die with dignity. Because dying slowly in hospice of cancer & dehydration is horrifying. No children should have the guilt of wishing someone would hurry up and die because they aren’t mentally equipped to be in that purgatory between life and death.

I understand his choice. Thank you for sharing his story.

[u/Littleshuswap]

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your best friend and brother. Sending a hug from a far. 💕

[u/tenzeru]

My sincerest condolences. I never knew your brother, but I am praying for peace, healing and comfort where he is now. I believe he offered the best he could. I hope with time, the pain lessens for the whole family and close ones, but for now, grieve with all of your heart. It's okay to miss him, it's okay to feel pain. You are human after all. Sending love and light. 🩷🙏

[u/throwaway_2021now]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family. I once worked at a company where I can see people’s timesheets and reason for taking off. The employee was sick and days later took his own life. He was at the company for just a few months. I’ve always thought about him.

[u/Coloradobluesguy]

I’m really sorry; I don’t believe that it’s the same as suicide when a painful disease is going to do the same anyway. I hope you can find comfort in knowing that he isn’t suffering anymore and is in a better place.

[u/Used_Potential_4297]

So sorry for yours and family's loss. I hope he is at peace now and surrounded by love, his heaven sounds so lovely. Thinking and praying for you all x

[u/99Nvrmnd]

Thank you for sharing the story and insight.

For those of us fighting that battle, it's good getting other people's perspective and decision making.

Medically illegal suicide is still not legal in America, as it is in some places, which could help so many and stop so much suffering.

Again, thank you for sharing the story.

[u/RelationshipQuiet609]

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your Big Brother! Only he could decide when enough is enough. Cancer robs us from so many things. I am glad you had the chance to say goodbye 🥲! God Speed to someone I never met but knows first hand the pain of cancer 🕊️🕊️

[u/Ok_Act7808]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am a 56 yr old female. 2020 breast cancer with mastectomy and nodes removed, harsh chemo & 33 radiations. Just 4 years later 7/2024 stage 4 liver cancer, a year of chemo and then it began to metastasize. I have been in a clinical trial since May flying back and forth every 10 days. I will get my 1st scan since the trial and I’m so nervous. I’ve been depressed lately. Maybe it’s preparing myself if results are good 🤷‍♀️ but I will say it is hard on us fighting and hard on everyone caring and supporting us. I have decided that this will be my last attempt and just like him, we all have the right to decide what we are willing to endure. It’s the scariest decision I will have to make. I wish we could just be euthanized when we are ready. To me it’s not humane to let us suffer until our heart stops. Just know he is at peace, pain free and God welcomed him with his arms wide open ❤️‍🩹 he made a sacrifice and that was just as difficult as letting the process of cancer take him🙏

[u/PolkadotUnicornium]

My condolences to you and all who knew and loved him. I do believe we're reunited with loved ones, including companion animals. May your brother's memory be a blessing to you all.

[u/SpaceMinstrels]

I think only those of us who have cancer and/or have seen a love one die slowly from cancer, can understand why someone would choose this path.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[u/mypantsRbluecrayons]

I am so sorry. Sending prayers and condolences Revelation 21:4

[u/medicwhat]

So so sorry.

[u/Medical_Nothing535]

Bless you and your loved ones

[u/Tricky-Dare1583]

🙏🏻💙

[u/ADHDLeopardess]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Siblings are precious, and seeing my other children mourn the loss of my own son made me realise just how deep the bond between them was and how important they are to one another . Your brother sounded like a lovely selfless man and I pray that he is at peace ,finally reunited with those whom he loved so much in life. Thank you for sharing his story- sending you and your family so much love right now