Mom’s struggling with chemo and wants to delay but its only just begun

[u/GODZILLAateyou]

For some backstory, My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 3a this summer which has a 50% survival rate. Shes getting chemo through IV and IP which i be heard from others can be quite rough. She’s only finished her 2nd IV round and 1st IP round.
Her first round she was doing great but this round has been a lot harder on her, feeling drained and neuropathy at night. Because of this she wants to push back her next treatment!
I don’t know maybe i need someone who’s been through it to give me some perspective because that’s crazy to me. I’ve read that it can worsen prognosis if treatments keep getting delayed. I’m sure her symptoms will only get worse with more rounds. she’s always been one to give up when things got difficult and i also feel like she’s been in denial about how serious this is. So far i have been trying to not correct her when she says naive things about this process that are so out of touch to preserve her positive attitude but is it time for a reality check? Or do i need to be more compassionate, is it reasonable to delay for these reasons?

[u/Professional_Belt812]

You have to understand her point of view dealing with neuropathy pain at night is really tough. It’s better to talk to her oncologist about this. My father also had neuropathy. We asked the doctor to stop the treatment, and he said, “If you are not okay with this, then so be it.” We then tried a new drug. You’re thinking a lot about the prognosis, but you also need to think about your mother’s perspective—the one who actually has to suffer through it.

[u/sentimentalsock]

I’m sorry you and your mother are going through this. I was diagnosed with stage 4 3.5 years ago. The first time I did full chemo it was the worst. I’ve done it 3 times, but the first time was the hardest. I can tell you that after the surgery and chemo were done I felt so much better. Something to consider, my oncologist altered the dosage a few times when it was too much, which is better than stopping treatment in my opinion.

[u/RemarkableArticle970 → u/sentimentalsock]

Good comment. Yes run everything by the doctors/support team. Even the “dumbest “ questions.

My first chemo was bad, partly because I hadn’t learned to pre-treat stuff like constipation and nausea. They gave me the tools (drugs, mostly over the counter) to keep my guts working, and gave the chemo a chance to drop my ca 125 from the 1500’s to 80. It shrunk my swollen abdomen so much I can wear pants.

Anyway I have done 3 cycles and with numbers showing that it’s working I’m a lot more focused on a remission than the upcoming surgery. It’s easy to get stuck on symptoms, I truly was miserable after 1st session but now have nothing to complain about except fatigue. And we as a family have decided Physical therapy could help me build up some muscle for the upcoming surgery.

[u/GODZILLAateyou → u/RemarkableArticle970]

Good to know that symptoms can vary from session to session

[u/RemarkableArticle970 → u/GODZILLAateyou]

I wish the best for you and your mom. I think this is as hard on them as it is on me. They already lost their dad, I just need to do my best to survive and reach a remission. But obviously I don’t have control over that.

[u/GODZILLAateyou → u/sentimentalsock]

Thanks for the response. She’s since talked to her nurse and they’re going to lower the dose.