r/cancer • u/Rachel21321 • 3d ago

Patient Annoyed at calling it a fight?

Anyone else thankful but also get annoyed when people call you a fighter or this cancer a fight or that you are so brave? I don’t think I am any of those things. I am doing what I need to do to get better. It doesn’t feel like anything I’m really doing is “fighting” or “brave” or even changing the situation aside from making decisions. It feels like these steps I take either work or they don’t but not through much conscious fault of my own. To me it just feels like this shitty thing to hopefully get through.

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u/Comfortable-Gap8946 2d ago

I don’t hate fight. In fact I have “My fight was their fight” tattooed on my arms. There were days I had to fight just to get out of bed. Fighting through nausea and fatigue to get to the next appointment. One of my kids had to fight crippling anxiety around my diagnosis. My wife had to be superwoman, fight whatever doubts and anxiety she had to keep our house functioning and our 4 kids alive.

So yeah, fight doesn’t bother me.

Battle has larger implications that I don’t think make sense here. Brave? Strong? Amazing? No, just a guy who decided I’ll do whatever it takes to get (hopefully) another 40 or 50 years with my family.

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u/blue_square Stage 4 ALCL (Remission 7/2021, Re-Birthday 8/12/2021) 2d ago

This is the type of fighting we do. Not against cancer itself. I wish people who used the term meant it like this. That way, we don’t “lose” the fight but win every time. We don’t fight against cancer itself but we fight for the things that matter most to us.

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u/RedTheWolf 2d ago

Yes, I am fighting to stay here, with my loved ones, not in a battle against the cancer itself. I fight my symptoms and my fear and my exhaustion so I can make it to the next appointment or surgery and take the next step.