r/cancer • u/Rachel21321 • 3d ago

Patient Annoyed at calling it a fight?

Anyone else thankful but also get annoyed when people call you a fighter or this cancer a fight or that you are so brave? I don’t think I am any of those things. I am doing what I need to do to get better. It doesn’t feel like anything I’m really doing is “fighting” or “brave” or even changing the situation aside from making decisions. It feels like these steps I take either work or they don’t but not through much conscious fault of my own. To me it just feels like this shitty thing to hopefully get through.

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u/No-Camera-720 3d ago

"fight, journey, adventure, warrior, etc". Stupid shit all and annoying. Weak people trying to escape reality and coerce others to adopt their sad coping mechanism.

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u/telisr_lindsk 2d ago

Jesus, that’s a bit harsh, I’m not sure I understand this sentiment and urge to insult the way other people process. We never called my mom a warrior but I’d say they fought her cancer with chemo. Even though it wasn’t much of a battle, (she died six days into chemo) they still seem like pretty fitting terms to me. She even said at one point in her 19-day battle, “just another adventure I guess” with a shrug, a sigh and a smile. Do you think she was weak for using these terms?

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u/No-Camera-720 2d ago

We are each free to manage this in whatever way works for us. My issue is with folks, patient or caretaker, who judge and pressure other cancer patients for not doing as they do and speaking as they speak. I doubt your mom would have sought to impose her choices on anyone else. Anyone who tries this bullshit on me will learn quickly what it's like to have conflict with someone who no longer has much to gain or lose.