Hair loss

[u/tylerdurdin58]

My wife is loosing hair during her chemo even with cold capping. She is absolutely traumatized and said she would rather die than loose her hair. She is blaming me loosing her hair by her temples because I put the tape to protect her scalp from frost bite, on the exposed scalp with thin hair and it all came out when she removed it. She is devastated beyond reason. I have no idea how to support her through this part? I love her more than anything in this world and I feel hopeless hearing her say she wants to die. I don't know what to do or how to support her, I am speechless other than I can say I'm sorry. This whole thing sux for everyone involved, it sux the worst for her. When I tell her she is still beautiful, my words mean nothing to her. How can I help when my words are empty to her even though I mean what I say? I try to make her laugh and that does not work. Nothing I do or say works. Sorry for the rant I just need to vent, I can't vent to my only friend, the love of my life , because she is fighting cancer.

[u/Artful_flower]

She’s in the thick of it right now, it’s traumatic. Is she open to wigs? If not, there’s many head covering options that are pretty. But, it’s not the same as your own hair. I hid away because I couldn’t mentally handle it. It took a long time to process for me personally. Cancer is hard on a marriage. My favorite thing my husband did was just sit with me. Oftentimes he’d rub my hand until I fell asleep (active chemo is exhausting). I didn’t need him to talk, just sit with me. But also, treatment made my skin crawl and become so sensitive I couldn’t handle touch at one point. It was so hard on my husband, he didn’t know how to help. Just be there for her the best way you know how. Also, if she’s snippy with you or hurts your feelings, she doesn’t really mean it. She is so miserable, doesn’t feel good, hurts, mentally overwhelmed. It will get better. But it can get kinda dark before you see the light again. At least this was my experience. I was diagnosed de novo stage IV metastatic breast cancer at 39. I’m sitting in the chemo chair typing this, it’s my 110th infusion today.