r/cancer • u/tylerdurdin58 • 2d ago
Caregiver Hair loss
My wife is loosing hair during her chemo even with cold capping. She is absolutely traumatized and said she would rather die than loose her hair. She is blaming me loosing her hair by her temples because I put the tape to protect her scalp from frost bite, on the exposed scalp with thin hair and it all came out when she removed it. She is devastated beyond reason. I have no idea how to support her through this part? I love her more than anything in this world and I feel hopeless hearing her say she wants to die. I don't know what to do or how to support her, I am speechless other than I can say I'm sorry. This whole thing sux for everyone involved, it sux the worst for her. When I tell her she is still beautiful, my words mean nothing to her. How can I help when my words are empty to her even though I mean what I say? I try to make her laugh and that does not work. Nothing I do or say works. Sorry for the rant I just need to vent, I can't vent to my only friend, the love of my life , because she is fighting cancer.
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u/cancerkidette 2d ago
She may need to talk to an oncology psychologist. Genuinely a level of distress is very normal but when it’s this acute I think there is more at play. I echo she is in a denial stage and may be depressed/needing professional support.
For the vast majority of patients we can’t cold cap during our treatment or choose not to for a variety of reasons. Even with the cold cap there’s no guarantee it will work 100%.