r/cancer 3d ago

Caregiver Hair loss

My wife is loosing hair during her chemo even with cold capping. She is absolutely traumatized and said she would rather die than loose her hair. She is blaming me loosing her hair by her temples because I put the tape to protect her scalp from frost bite, on the exposed scalp with thin hair and it all came out when she removed it. She is devastated beyond reason. I have no idea how to support her through this part? I love her more than anything in this world and I feel hopeless hearing her say she wants to die. I don't know what to do or how to support her, I am speechless other than I can say I'm sorry. This whole thing sux for everyone involved, it sux the worst for her. When I tell her she is still beautiful, my words mean nothing to her. How can I help when my words are empty to her even though I mean what I say? I try to make her laugh and that does not work. Nothing I do or say works. Sorry for the rant I just need to vent, I can't vent to my only friend, the love of my life , because she is fighting cancer.

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u/earnestpeabody 2d ago

I run a Wellness Centre that’s got a wig library ($50 deposit, no time limit) that I ran during Covid because we couldn’t have volunteers.

One thing I regularly saw was that people’s ideas about wigs changed once they actually saw them or tried them on.

Good current synthetic wigs have a lot of small variations in strand colour that make them look so much better than wigs of even 5-7 years ago.

I’d also talk to people about booking an end of the day appointment with their hairdresser to get remaining hair trimmed off and their wig trimmed to fit their face better.

It doesn’t fix all the distress around hair loss but it can help.