r/cancer • u/tylerdurdin58 • 2d ago
Caregiver Hair loss
My wife is loosing hair during her chemo even with cold capping. She is absolutely traumatized and said she would rather die than loose her hair. She is blaming me loosing her hair by her temples because I put the tape to protect her scalp from frost bite, on the exposed scalp with thin hair and it all came out when she removed it. She is devastated beyond reason. I have no idea how to support her through this part? I love her more than anything in this world and I feel hopeless hearing her say she wants to die. I don't know what to do or how to support her, I am speechless other than I can say I'm sorry. This whole thing sux for everyone involved, it sux the worst for her. When I tell her she is still beautiful, my words mean nothing to her. How can I help when my words are empty to her even though I mean what I say? I try to make her laugh and that does not work. Nothing I do or say works. Sorry for the rant I just need to vent, I can't vent to my only friend, the love of my life , because she is fighting cancer.
2
u/DragonFlyMeToTheMoon 1d ago
I’m sorry. You’re both dealing with something very hard, just in different ways. I didn’t cold cap, but I don’t think it’s meant to save all of your hair. Just some of it. For that reason (and it’s costly), I didn’t want to do it. I actually thought my bald head wasn’t so bad. I had some cute little hats that I liked and thought it looked kind of cute for what it was. Most importantly, there were some really low energy days where I was so happy I didn’t have to deal with washing or styling hair. That seemed like such a chore.
There are some really good wigs out there. I didn’t use a wig, but lots of ladies on here have ones they can recommend. Since she’s very sensitive to the idea of hair loss, your wife might benefit from some good research on wig options. Insurance should cover some I believe if in the US.
Feel free to keep posting here for support. Being the caregiver is a hard job and even harder when you can’t fix the problem. I’ve been the caregiver and the patient. They both suck, but are better with support. We’re here for you both. For both of you - you CAN do hard things.