r/cancer • u/Spiral_Rock99 • 14h ago
Death Lost Mom to pancreatic cancer
I’m 20 years old and horribly lost right now. Funeral was very recent. Just Dad, brother and I now. It feels like a chunk of my heart was ripped out and so much just does not make sense right now. This illness took everything from us and then some. My life feels like it is on hold still and maybe it will continue to feel like that over time; like I’m waiting for what my life was supposed to be. I know time heals and I have heard it over and over again but because of this illness my life is just never going to be the same without her. She had so much more to give and I had so much more I wanted to give back to her. I pray in the future the manner in which the disease is stalled, treated and maybe even cured becomes better. I think you never really understand until the disease touches you directly.
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u/Capital-9 14h ago
So sorry, I was completely lost when my mom died 18 years ago. The hurt fades, the memories stay. I wrote them down eventually. It helps me. I hope you’ll find what helps you.
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u/KikiJuno 13h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re very young to lose a parent. I lost my dad to cancer almost two years ago. I was 34 at the time and I felt like the biggest, lost baby. There’s something particularly painful about losing a parent. They’re like a security for us. I hope there’s more they can do for pancreatic cancer in the future too. I see a lot of it in my line of work. I’m not sure what age your mum was but I’d imagine still quite young. If she was under 50 or early 50s there’s a possibility there was a genetic link there. Not necessarily though. But if there is any breast cancer or pancreatic cancer in the family before it’s good to touch base with your family doctor and talk about screening and maybe generic testing. Again it could also have been totally random that she developed it. Be kind to yourself in the next few weeks and months. Sending you a big hug 💕
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u/Ready-Sherbet-2741 14h ago
so sorry about your mom. It really is a tear in the universe to lose her. And yes time (and a lot of grief work) will heal you. And when I say heal you will get on with your life but you will think about her and miss her forever - it just won’t hurt so much. But right now it has to be one breath at a time, one day at a time and lots of self care. Make sure you find little things to enjoy each day. Hugs.