r/cancer • u/skylover1238 • 1d ago

Caregiver Hospital will not admit my mom

Hello. So my mom is in remission for lung and brain cancer. Although she’s been dealing with her pancreatic cancer since fall. She’s been doing good. Except recently things have been really bad.

She doesn’t want to eat or drink. We’ve been getting her to drink ensure drinks and little meals. She fainted on Sunday.. stopped breathing for a bit. We took her to the ER at a Sanford location. They took her labs and everything was normal.. so they said they can’t admit her. Same thing happened yesterday too. Their excuse was “it’s a side effect of chemo.” I know this is not that.

She has lost about 30-40lbs in the last 6 weeks. She now has a hard time walking, going to the bathroom, etc. She is sleeping a lot. She threw up yesterday at the ER. All liquids, no chunks. I’m very scared that this is resembling end stage pancreatic cancer/failure. I don’t want her to die. I’m only 22. I need my mom.

Is there any way to get her admitted? Is there anything I can do for her to help her more than getting her to eat? Please help me.

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u/Betty-Gay 1d ago

Have they ruled out a bowel obstruction?

I cannot fathom how or why a hospital would deny her care. Is this an insurance issue?

4

u/Cwilde7 1d ago

Sadly, she sounds like she is ready for hospice. At this stage I’m boggled that her oncologist is even allowing her to still do chemo. This kind of stuff makes me infuriated, as a strong supporter of quality of life over quantity of life…these moves feel like a money grab instead of considering what is truly best for the patient.

PC is one of the most difficult cancers to treat. It does not respond well to chemo and the standard-care chemo is extremely harsh. At the end of the day you’re gambling with this cancer. Which is going to take one first? The chemo or cancer.

She should be home on hospice care in comfort.

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u/Betty-Gay 1d ago

I agree with and relate to your comment more than you know. My dad was diagnosed in June 2024 with late hepatocellular carcinoma, the tumor involved one of the main hepatic veins, so removal was out of the question. By February 2025 it had metastasized. His odds were slim, and I believe his oncologist gave him false hope, and they should have just been honest with him that he was definitely going to die. He spent the last approximately 6 months of his life sick from cabometrix and targeted radiation for a tumor on his hip. He slowly withered away until an upper GI obstruction sent him to the hospital, and after a few days of trying to hopefully clear the blockage, my sister had to break it to him that he was at the end. He likely had a tumor in his GI tract, and he was much too starved and weak to have surgery. He basically entered hospice then, and passed a few days later. He died on August 6th.

I wish his oncologist would have been more forthcoming with his prognosis, then I would have prioritized going to spend some more time with him, which was hard to do because I live in a different state.

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u/Cwilde7 8h ago

I’m so incredibly sorry.

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u/Betty-Gay 6h ago

Thank you. Me too.