r/cancer • u/Julesx23 • 1d ago
Patient I'm so confused
I just want to get this out, I'm not looking for advice or to fix what I feel. I just recently woke up from an induced coma, all due to severe seizures and, the truth is, a lot more happened, but I prefer not to lengthen the story. Today, my cancer and things don't even seem like the most serious thing anymore; (although it is) what really bothers me is how I feel inside. My mind and emotions are a mess: I feel totally out of place, I understand almost nothing of what is happening and, to make matters worse, I have the feeling that I forgot a lot of things that were previously my daily routine and my life...
It's like being in an unknown place, although in theory I should feel “safe” because there are people nearby, but I don't feel comfortable with anyone and I don't have anyone to turn to even for a hug to help me put a stop to all this. Paranoia invades me, my head keeps creating strange scenarios, stories that feel too real. I also started psychiatric medications and I feel that they are very strong, everything feels even more blurry. Honestly, I'm lost, completely adrift, and it's so hard for me to admit it out loud and I just wanted to express it at least in a place where I hope not to be judged, I'm not looking for anything more than to express myself... Thanks for reading.
4
u/Homelessbuck 1d ago
I know what you mean. I think I am going through something similar to you. My mind feels like it has been broken and I feel so lost and purposeless. I fear being alone with my thoughts and I’ve been glued to my phone trying to make friends so I’m not alone. I’ve only been prescribed two meds for this but idk if I’ll ever feel the same again. I’m here if you need to talk or vent more.