r/cancer • u/Enough-Scholar7153 • 1d ago
Patient š Who here is going through terminal?
Hello everyone, I didnāt want to feel alone in this situation but I wanted to know who is going through terminal stage and how are you coping? Thank you š
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u/gemurmel 1d ago
I'm stage 4 terminal and out of therapy options. I could do random chemos but decided against it. I have neuropathy in my feet and legs and I'm unable to walk thanks to my latest treatment.
I'm generally at peace with dying. My husband and me have moments when we cry. But it doesn't last long. I've gone through surgeries, radiation sessions, poison in my body so many times during the past 4 years that we both know it's better for me to go. With at least a bit of humanity left and hopefully at home.
Palliative care is a great help. They provide a kit with meds agains anxiety, nausea, no appetite, pain, shortness of breath and what not that we have at home just in case. We can call a palliative nurse 24/7. That took a lot of fear away. We also put a nursing bed in our guest room downstairs and made it extra pretty. If I can't take the stairs anymore, I'll have a nice place for myself. Cupboard, sheets, curtains all green, my favourite colour.
It's hard, but in a way it's not. We'll be out of pain when we die. The fight will be over. Time to let go and relax. It took a while to come to this stage of acceptance of death. And sadness creeps up from time to time when I look at my husband, my dog, a sunny meadow. I love life but the price I paid was very high. And I'm not willing to pay more.
Big hugs to you <3
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u/SisterOfRistar NUT carcinoma - lung cancer. 23h ago
Thank you for taking the time to write this, it is really helpful as someone who is likely going to be in the same place in the near future. You have a sense of calm and way of speaking that makes it sound less scary, less lonely. I am so sorry you find yourself here and have been through so much, but I am glad you have found some peace and acceptance and ways to make things more positive. Wishing you the best.
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u/gemurmel 18h ago
Thank you so much. Once you decide to let go, calmness will come. It's a rocky road to that point. Tears and fears and regrets and what ifs. But once your're there it's a peaceful place after years in survival mode. All the best <3
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u/ItzGoghTime 1d ago
I havenāt been told Iām terminal, but Iām stage 4 incurable. On my 4th line of treatment I have one line left after this and a clinical trial. Some days I am at peace with death and others Iām not. Iām kinda a mixed bag of nuts right now.
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u/TheEvilSatanist 1d ago
What's the difference in "incurable" vs "terminal?"
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u/Bruce_McBruce 1d ago
Not a doctor, but I've heard that terminal means death is likely within the next 12 months. And I was first diagnosed as "incurable but very treatable", meaning they hoped that treatments could give me years or even decades more.
That was over 6 years ago, and I've tried and failed with a bunch of treatments since then (some better than others) so if I'm not terminal now then I'm pretty close to it. But at least i got that extra time to spend with my family.
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u/SisterOfRistar NUT carcinoma - lung cancer. 23h ago
I am currently at the incurable stage (stage 4, diagnosed in July 2025). It is not currently terminal as there are treatment options out there and we are hoping we can stabilise the cancer at the very least, many people live with cancer now and we just control it. They call it incurable as it's spread so they don't think it's likely they can kill every cancer cell and it will likely return even if I get a NED prognosis. With terminal it's normally a case of people have run out of treatment options.
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u/carvingmyelbows 1d ago
Iām stage 4 and technically terminal, although it doesnāt feel like Iām ādyingā just yet. Iām on my 5th line of treatment right now which I know isnāt great, but I have breast cancer so a good number of treatment options before I run out (I think), although Iāve developed some conditions as a result of treatment that have disqualified a number of future options. If I had to guess, Iād say I probably have a couple to a few years left. I mostly feel numb to it. It feels really far off, although I know time moves faster than expected and it will probably quickly catch up to me. I just keep trying to live as if this isnāt my near future. Iām trying to go back to college, for example. Feels like kind of a waste but who knows. Maybe Iāll get lucky and beat the odds, maybe I wonāt. My particular brand of breast cancer is fairly rare and particularly fast moving and aggressive (inflammatory breast cancer) so itās only a matter of time before it catches up to me. I really just try not to think about it, which probably isnāt the best approach, but itās working for now.
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u/Obvious-Worth-4469 1d ago
I have been diagnosed with GBM. It's a terminal brain tumor. I have been given anywherefrom 18 to 24 months. It's a tough pill to swallow. But I have chosen to look at it this way. I have been given the gift of the long goodbye. My kids won't get a call in the middle of the night because I was in an accident. I get to spend whatever time I can with my loved ones. I'm sorry you are going through this. It isn't easy,
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u/Crazy-Garden6161 1d ago
Iām stage 4, but I donāt consider myself terminal. About to change to my second line treatment, first didnāt work but still feeling really good.
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u/Elza4 1d ago
What makes this a little better for me is that I tell myself that terminal is when we are really in a bad shape. When we might not even know what's going on any more. So when it's stage 4 and xy line it is still stage 4, not terminal for me. Until we get there, it is also challenging to hadle that it is growing in our body and presumably will kill us soon. I usually try not to think of that, of course on bad days I cry and everything. And still hope for some magic and good luck or something like that :D try to live your life and have as many good experience as you can <3
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u/sentimentalsock 1d ago
Iām sorry youāre going through this. I have stage 4 ovarian cancer, and have been on constant chemo for 3.5 years (sometimes full, sometimes maintenance). At first I was given 6 months, then a year, then possibly up to 5 years. Itās a rollercoaster of emotions. My faith has made a big difference in dealing with it, and my husband. I decided to keep living and try to forget the terminal part of my illness. I remind myself no one is promised tomorrow, and do my best. I do wish I was well enough to travel, do more things. Sending you love, peace, and hope! All good things!
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u/Wild_Personality8897 17h ago
I feel you. My sister and I both had stage 3. Sheās reoccurred once and Iām in remission. We know itās not curable, we know it will keep coming back until it kills us.
Itās hard to live with butā¦the world keeps spinning, right?
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u/Psychoneuroi 1d ago
Got a rare diagnosis just over a year ago, turned out to be two rare cancers. Rare form of Germ cell cancer and then transformation to histiocytic sarcoma. 27 year old here. Iām on my fourth line of treatment which might be my last. I just beat my last prognosis of 6 months - officially a coffin dodger. I feel ok, lots of pain from bone mets which also affects my walking. Iāve had surgery, radiation and chemo pretty much non stop and just learned of new Mets to the lungs. Looking into complimentary therapies while Iām on this last chemo, while trying to avoid quackery. Itās so hard to navigate, Iāve been incurable from the beginning and beating my prognosis is positive but also scary. I donāt worry much about death but I do worry about the life I have left and my ability to live it. My dad is also dying from a 4 year battle with bladder cancer at home, there is nothing more doctors/oncologists can do for him. Both of our situations have been devastating for the family. I feel for anyone dealing with this shit
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u/Muckraker222 NSCLC mucinous adenocarcinoma stage 4 1d ago
Stage 4 so I'm in that inbetween state of being "incurable" with an unknown but an extremely limited lifespan. I
I'm on my second line of treatment via stage 3 clinical trial. So far it has stopped any additional growth and the main tumor has shrunk in density and size but a slow pace.
This is one of the few times I'm thankful for having ADHD as it has protected me from having an emotional response, which I know sounds unhealthy, but I've alrady been through loads of therapy prior to getting my diagnosis and I've always had extremely muted responses to difficult situations.
Probably the worst part is the feeling of being stuck location wise and not being able change jobs. My employer has been understanding and I'm able to work from home. However, I want to do a lot more.
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u/ant_clip 1d ago
Sounds like you had the terminal conversation with your oncologist. What is your diagnosisās and prognosis? Mine was metastatic adenocarcinoma unknown primary (CUP). I just wake up and live the day.
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u/Best_Cantaloupe556 1d ago
Commenting on š Who here is going through terminal?... Currently, Stage 4 NSCLC - 20 years ago I was diagnosed with metastatic adenocarcinoma unknown primary (CUP) - my oncologist refused to stage my prognosis and I let it go.
Point is - you never know. Just trying to make it thru today.
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u/ant_clip 1d ago
I was diagnosed in 2020. After my liver resection for metastatic tumor I was told less than a year without treatment and 2-3 with. I am older with other health issues so I elected no treatment. For 5 years I have been waking up and making coffee. My last scan early August is a bit suspect, we will see.
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u/Obvious-Worth-4469 1d ago
I had that conversation with him day one. I was told without treatment I had 6 months. With treatment 18 to 24 months. So we started treatment. A Glioblastoma is always terminal. The best I can hope for is to slow its growth. But I know eventually treatment might not be enough and I might have to go back into surgery. That is not fun having them dig around my brain. Been there done that have the scar to prove it.
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u/ParticularPrior4604 1d ago
Iām going through it. Almost 4 years. Found out 6 months into my treatment that my cancer is terminal. Mentally Iām doing fine. Physically of course not so good. Sick all of the time from treatment and the cancer
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u/Rythwyver 1d ago
Stage 4 at 31, now 36. No cure for me. Just had a lung biopsy to see if itās trying to spread more. I really hope itās not. Also Lung biopsies, not fun.
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u/Dizzy-Importance-166 20h ago
Terminal 40 Ted hs they have me 6 -23 months nearly 3 tests yrs itās hard take it one datcstcscfind ago bod dm me any questions
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u/JitteryRaptor33 11h ago
Just learn yesterday at 9:10 am I have small cell lung cancer that's stage 4 and has spread to my lymph nodes. From what I have read my chances are 5% to 9% survival. still on hospital as my sodium levels are super low. Not a club I wanted to join but here I am.
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u/TheEvilSatanist 1d ago
What is considered "terminal?"
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u/Obvious-Worth-4469 1d ago
It generally means that it isn't treatable or curable and in my case will be the only reason for my early dirt nap.
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u/TheEvilSatanist 1d ago
Mine is incurable, is that the same thing as terminal?
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u/Obvious-Worth-4469 1d ago
No. It still might be treatable and therefore managed if it isn't treatable or controllable then it's terminal. Hopefully this helps
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u/SisterOfRistar NUT carcinoma - lung cancer. 23h ago
No, many people live with cancer these days and there are ways to manage it and control it. I have incurable cancer as well but I definitely have never been told or thought of it as terminal. As long as there are treatment options out there for us there is always hope. Some people who get an incurable diagnosis do get cured with their cancer not returning, we are all so different. I hope they are able to treat you and control the cancer, I have gone through 3 rounds of chemo so far and feel it is doing a lot of good and improving my symptoms so trying to keep the hope!
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u/stretchmcneck 20h ago
I am stage 4 metastic prostate cancer. Has spread into bladder,kidney,pelvis & lymph node. Since my diagnosis in February Iāve been responding well to medication. My PSA has dropped to .09 from 63 I have some episodes of nausea that comes and goes. The doctors say I have anywhere from 3-10 years to live. I donāt know whatās coming for me and when. The one positive Iāve never been closer to my wife, Love her so much. Lots of exercise and trying to stay positive with the odd Meltdown of tears.
Stay strong everyone! You are not alone!
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u/Klutzy_Macaroon6377 4h ago
Life doesnāt fall apart gradually. It fractures in silence, then shatters all at once. everything you thought was permanent becomes a before.
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u/Finebar4 1d ago edited 1d ago
Stage 4 Neuroendocrine carcinoma with metastasis to liver and a few lymph nodes. I dodged a bullet and am considered treatable, but what a wake up call!!! Went to bed feeling fine 8/7 this year and woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. Went to walk-in thinking my gallbladder was acting up And found I have a golfball sized tumor in my stomach lining. I know there are sooo many out there way worse off than I am, and that just makes me feel terrible and guilty for getting off āluckyā. So sorry that you are dealing with this :-(
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u/SurvivingGBM 1d ago
Just curious, what do you consider terminal? I was diagnosed with glioblastoma and given 12-18 told it has 100% chance of coming back and is extremely aggresive. I cured myself with an alternative medicine and am cancer free less then 2 years after and coming up to the 3 year mark. I stopped listening to doctors cause. Onody knows when Iām gonna die and tbh doctors are only pushing chemo/radiatiin because itās all they have and they get kickbacks for prescriptions, positive mindset and making my own Decisions is what got me through it , Iād be dead if I believed them and did their treatment or believed I would die in that amount of time couldnāt be healthier now
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u/Over-Engineer5074 1d ago edited 1d ago
Reading your blog, 95% of your tumor got removed, you took chemo and you took some THC extract and you say you got cured because of the THC. Uhuh.
Fuck your false hope bullshit, they can't remove my tumors surgically, not 60%, not 95%.Ā
It is the same with the Ivermectin guy, he was taking immunotherapy and also ivermectin but tries to sell immunotherapy had nothing to do with his recovery.
What's next? Some guy swallowed a fly when doing targeted therapy and claims it was swallowing the fly that cured him?
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u/SurvivingGBM 20h ago edited 20h ago
My oncologist told me it has 100% of coming back, he also said he does NOT relate the shrinkage to chemo/radiation. It has never come back and only shrunk since the oils. I may have done both but thatās straight my my oncologist. Leaving me out of the equation thereās hundreds of other people as you can tell on his Instagram for testimonies Lee Whitley himself only injected his medicine into his throat, he was diagnosed with in 2024 and he was cancer free within 96 days and that was an aggressive throat sarcoma this has cured cancer in dogs as they are in clinical trials in Canada right now and thereās numerous other people that I didnāt do chemo radiation that itās working on so in the big picture yes is curing Cancer. Youāre too narrow minded to see thatgo look leehelps_oil
And then tell me it doesnāt work I have GBM which is. Not cureable by soc treatment anyways not here to argue
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u/Over-Engineer5074 20h ago
What shrinkage? It was surgically removed if I read your blog right.
But sure, I ll bite, can you pass me your oncologist? I m open-minded and if your oncologist tells me it works, I m happy to give it a try
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u/SurvivingGBM 18h ago
lol I go to bc cancer, dm me Iāll give you his name. Shrinkage? I had two surgeries Nov 1 2022 and may 3 2023, first surgery 60-70% removal second surgery 95% as you canāt remove 100% glioblastomas leave cells behind that have 100% of coming backā¦allegedly. So even with the removal itās aggresive and thatās why they say itās terminal. So not only did it not come back, it was shrinking significantly even before removal if you looked at mri and measurements.
That can explain myself, but look at the teatimonials on his instagram keep in mind Iāve met these people in person and the man who made the medicine ONLY did his medicine for Squamish cell carcinoma and refused chemo radiatiin surgery and was cancer free 96 days later how you explain that on top of my story? How do you explain a six-year-old girl who had 132 tumour spread throughout her whole body sheās now 11 and cancer free how do you explain other people who didnāt go through chemo and radiation and are now cancer free with advanced stages of numerous types of different cancersjust do some researchers buddy go go look
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u/Vast_Peanut8719 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm 48yo Dad with 3 young kids under 12. I am terminal. My second scan since diagnosis of Cholangiocarcinoma in February this week has shown spread in my liver and peritoneum. It's a living nightmare knowing I'll have to leave my kids on this earth when they are so young.
I'm so sorry to read you are living a nightmare too.