Context, I already suffered with anxiety before all this (anxiety and panic attacks and am on an SSRI and have clonazepam for as needed though I hate to rely on it because it took me a long while to titrate off of it from consistently taking it back when I was adjusting my SSRI when my brother passed in November)

But I am gearing up to go in for my 3rd inpatient round of chemo tomorrow, and the anxiety of it all is just hitting me like a truck. And I get upset at myself for already hitting that point where I no longer feel stoic and strong willed and it’s only been 2 rounds. I don’t look forward to being checked every 2hours and tasting the alcohol swab when they check the return on my port. Being tethered to the pole and having to get up so often cus of the fluids. I’m starting to hate my pj set I wear because it reminds me of being in the hospital. My bag I’ve designated my hospital bag as well, putting off setting it up because it just brings me back to being inpatient. The inevitable nausea hitting me by day 2, and lasting a week and a half. Feeling so weak by discharge that it’s exhausting even having to walk to the washroom.

Knowing I’m going to be at the halfway mark now and gearing up for repeat scans and a surgery game plan that’s going to most likely consist of a total knee replacement and part of my femur removed. It’s just all coming at me, and I’m rightfully anxious. And I hate it.

Hello. So my mom is in remission for lung and brain cancer. Although she’s been dealing with her pancreatic cancer since fall. She’s been doing good. Except recently things have been really bad.

She doesn’t want to eat or drink. We’ve been getting her to drink ensure drinks and little meals. She fainted on Sunday.. stopped breathing for a bit. We took her to the ER at a Sanford location. They took her labs and everything was normal.. so they said they can’t admit her. Same thing happened yesterday too. Their excuse was “it’s a side effect of chemo.” I know this is not that.

She has lost about 30-40lbs in the last 6 weeks. She now has a hard time walking, going to the bathroom, etc. She is sleeping a lot. She threw up yesterday at the ER. All liquids, no chunks. I’m very scared that this is resembling end stage pancreatic cancer/failure. I don’t want her to die. I’m only 22. I need my mom.

Is there any way to get her admitted? Is there anything I can do for her to help her more than getting her to eat? Please help me.

In my journey I have had two times I have felt extremely anxious. The first time was just after Nero surgery and the second time occurred when I was waiting for my scan results. Both times I could swear my dad, who passed a couple years ago stopped by to tell me it was going to be ok and both times I received good news. The first time I felt his presence, I felt a hand squeeze mine while I was laying in recovery and the second time I saw a billboard advertising his favourite breakfast sandwich in a place that was in the middle of nowhere. Anyone else experience something like that?

Hey, I posted a couple days ago about starting chemo for AML (it’s been about two weeks). Things got really bad, and I wanted to update because I don’t really know anyone else who’s been through this. I ended up in septic shock, and the doctors said it’s life threatening.

It started with a small fever and feeling really weak. At first, I thought it was just chemo side effects, but it got worse really fast. My whole body started feeling off, and my feet even went purple. That part really freaked me out.

I’ve been in the hospital since, on IV antibiotics, fluids, and other treatments to try to stabilize me. I’m still not feeling much better yet everything is exhausting, and it’s scary how quickly something like this can get dangerous.

Chemo was already really hard, and now dealing with septic shock on top of it makes everything feel even more overwhelming. I just wanted to share this

Hi everyone,

I’m a leukemia survivor — diagnosed at 19 — and I know firsthand how isolating the journey through cancer and recovery can feel. Finding people who truly understand what you’re going through can make a huge difference.

I’ve created a Discord community specifically for people recovering from cancer and other serious illnesses. It’s a safe, supportive space to: • 💬 Share your experiences, challenges, and victories • 🤝 Connect with others who truly understand the journey • 🌟 Receive and offer encouragement in a positive, understanding environment

Whether you’re in treatment, post-treatment, or supporting someone else, this is a place where you won’t feel alone.

🔗 Join us here: https://discord.gg/8xSqPhRh

We’re building a community of hope and support — because recovery is easier when you’re not doing it alone. 💙

I just want to get this out, I'm not looking for advice or to fix what I feel. I just recently woke up from an induced coma, all due to severe seizures and, the truth is, a lot more happened, but I prefer not to lengthen the story. Today, my cancer and things don't even seem like the most serious thing anymore; (although it is) what really bothers me is how I feel inside. My mind and emotions are a mess: I feel totally out of place, I understand almost nothing of what is happening and, to make matters worse, I have the feeling that I forgot a lot of things that were previously my daily routine and my life...

It's like being in an unknown place, although in theory I should feel “safe” because there are people nearby, but I don't feel comfortable with anyone and I don't have anyone to turn to even for a hug to help me put a stop to all this. Paranoia invades me, my head keeps creating strange scenarios, stories that feel too real. I also started psychiatric medications and I feel that they are very strong, everything feels even more blurry. Honestly, I'm lost, completely adrift, and it's so hard for me to admit it out loud and I just wanted to express it at least in a place where I hope not to be judged, I'm not looking for anything more than to express myself... Thanks for reading.

All of the stuffs i read is about two or three short-term survivors, but we can live more than ten years?

My beautiful 3 year old boy lost his battle with neuroblastoma in mid-August. We are busy planning his funeral celebration and it is surprising how joyful it has been to simply talk about his favourite music, share photos and memories. Every day is rough, but there are bright spots of joy.

To all of you still fighting, or fighting for one you love, our hearts go out to you. Fill your days with brightness if you can and keep loving each other xx

I’m 20 years old and horribly lost right now. Funeral was very recent. Just Dad, brother and I now. It feels like a chunk of my heart was ripped out and so much just does not make sense right now. This illness took everything from us and then some. My life feels like it is on hold still and maybe it will continue to feel like that over time; like I’m waiting for what my life was supposed to be. I know time heals and I have heard it over and over again but because of this illness my life is just never going to be the same without her. She had so much more to give and I had so much more I wanted to give back to her. I pray in the future the manner in which the disease is stalled, treated and maybe even cured becomes better. I think you never really understand until the disease touches you directly.

First course of chemo & radio treatment appears to have failed, moving me from an 80+% survival rate category to < 20% (radio & chemo resistant oropharyngeal cancer). I made a living by talking, so being mute isn’t an option. I tried my first speaking heavy event early this month and it was a disaster.

As I was being put under this week for another biopsy, I found myself praying that I wouldn’t wake up. I was pretty disappointed when I did.

My ex wives have taken almost all of my savings. I’m in my 50s. I have no insurance. I’m unable to work consistently because of issues with my throat, pain & pain med side effects. My last remnants of retirement savings are rapidly being drained.

I really don’t want to spend the next 5 years living like this. I probably only have savings for 2 years anyway.

It may be selfish of me but “living for my kids” or “living for my girlfriend” isn’t motivating. It just feels like another burden.

How do you keep going?

Today was a good news day. I received my MRI scan results for my GBM and there was no significant change in size inthe past 3 months! I never thought I would ever be excited for no change, but the chemo is doing its job and keeping it from growing and that is fine by me.

Had a mate and his Mrs come over today to help us assemble our garden shed. I’d started it with the mrs but it ended up overwhelming us, primarily me. I get worn out in half an hour and we had shed panels around the yard for about a month.

Friends in need are friends indeed, we’ve been so well supported by our family, friends and local community. Like the local pool comp we play in gave us a very much appreciated cheque at the last presentation. We live well but frugally, our income is the Australian government’s disability support pension (DSP) which isn’t a hardship for us as home owners free of rent.

It’s funny, we’d always been home and Netflix people but made a conscious decision to put ourselves out there a few years back when we moved to build a house somewhere we could afford. When we built our house we decided to get a pool table and be a part of the local pool and snooker scene. We’ve got lifelong friends as a result and right at the time such relationships are needed.

We have great lives but the good is great because of other people. Friends that turn up.

M21 I just finished what I called the burnout stage , of course I am happy but it all seems tooo much , too much missed study , too much missed “potential” you know when you think of what you could have achieved in all of the time you spent recovering , all the layers nights just sitting there staring at the ceiling not knowing what to do , all that effort if you had put it in anything Else..

I know I shouldn’t think like that but unfortunately I do and everyone keeps telling me (you are so hard on yourself) but I don’t get why Shouldn’t we improve??? What strong about just “surviving”

Every time I think like that I sink even Deeper and my thought become more depressing every time

If I can describe what i am feeling in one sentence it could be : I want to achieve so much “especially what I think I missed out on” in so little time while I am still trying to improve my general strength and so on

So what should I do what now? I am fixing my diet , started going to the gym , taking my meds , multivitamins and I still think it isn’t enough..I am still week ,I missed a lot in school all this stuff

Anyone have experience with your tumor marker number spiking after adding Avastin to chemo? CA125 was in the 1000s at diagnosis and has been going down over treatments. After first time having Avastin 3 weeks ago, in the new blood test done yesterday it jumps up by 200 points!

I was surprised by the number as after having Avastin added, symptoms improved and definitely felt much better. I found some people on other websites saying that Avastin can make the CA 125 number unreliable in some patients but unsure since Dr. didn't mention it. Worried by numbers suddenly going up right after adding a new drug, if this means drug isn't working, or if it can make numbers unreliable like people are saying...

For background, currently doing chemo before surgery for Stage 3 Ovarian. Just added Avastin last round as the type I have (clear cell) is usually less chemo sensitive. Although there wasn’t a drastic response, the tumor did shrink at last scan so continuing with carbo/taxol chemo as it is responding.

(Posted this in Ovarian cancer communities, but I know this treatment is used for other cancers so maybe I could get some experiences.)

Good afternoon all! I am starting to feel the effects of my cancer taking over my body. I get tired easily. I get nauseous often and I am easily light headed or dizzy. Soon I will be bed ridden but until then you can’t stop me! F*** YOU CANCER. I

Hey guys,

I just wanted to say at the start of this, i’m really not posting this to ask for sympathy or anyone to feel sorry for me etc. I’ve just turned 21, and I got over the fact I was diagnosed with cancer about 2 days in, and my mindset has just been getting through the treatment and staying positive throughout.

I’ve now completed the treatment, and am due to have a scan to get the official “cancer-free” in a few weeks, which i’m sure will be positive.

My problem is this. A lot of my self worth comes from my ability to play footy to a good level, I play at uni and in quite a good saturday team (not pro or anything but with a good group of players). The cancer has absolutely ravaged my body to be honest, i’ve put on about 8kgs of weight, lost all my muscle and pretty much all my fitness and ability on the ball after 6 months of no exercise and fighting this disease.

What this whole ordeal has given me is motivation, and a different level of it. I can’t explain how badly I want to get back to the fitness/ athleticism levels I was at pre-cancer, but I also really want to go above and beyond and push myself to play football to as high a standard as possible whilst i’m young and able to physically do so.

I guess what i’m really asking for is advice, or anyone with knowledge of recovering from an illness like this or just getting unfit players back in shape in both the most efficient and effective way possible. Whether it’s nutrition advice, advice to fix my body composition, advice for getting my technique back, anything AT ALL is welcome.

I will not let this beat me, but that doesn’t mean the recovery is going to be easy, so any advice/help at all is appreciated - even if it’s just pointing me towards the right people. I was tempted to reach out to some high level coaches on things like linkedin for some advice but thought this might be a bit unrealistic.

Just as a final note, i’m a centre-back who is 5’10, so I used to rely on my athletic ability and strength a lot in battles with taller strikers. My coach has been enquiring about converting me to a right back because he thought I had more to offer further up the pitch but not sure whether this will happen for a while now.

cheers lads - really really means a lot

Exciting Announcement:

Finally pregnant! It’s a Girl! Yay!

Ladies freeze your eggs before treatments it is so worth it!

I’m finally pregnant after wanting to be for 9 years! It was just one trauma after another for awhile. When my hubby and I first wanted a bab, my sister tragically died by suicide and I got PTSD because I found her with my mom and was in no healthy mental state to take care of a baby. Then I got brain cancer after that, and obviously wasn’t healthy then. Did IVF before treatments, and the 1st one didn’t implant and I was devastated because we only had 2 more chances (2 embryos left) and my husband didn’t want to adopt for silly reasons, so I was so devastated and depressed. Then I started doing my prayers and devotion everyday. Had two churches and family and friends pray for me, then I started having dreams from God and Jesus that I was pregnant and then not long after I had dreams of holding a baby girl!

Pregnant at 35! Been in remission for 1-2 years now. Left hand is still screwed up so I’m praying I can hold the baby safely and that the baby will make it through delivery.

Thank you Jesus! God is good l!

So, 16 days ago i came back. It has been a busy few weeks since. But we have PROGRESS!

I have progressed from "well this sucks rocks" to "THIS F'N SUCKS ROCKS"....

Saw my surgeon monday. He has me on top of the cancellation list and slated for surgery in about 6 weeks. Saw my gyn tuesday since all of a sudden post menopausal me has a need for panty liners and i completely freaked. Had my PET wednesday.

My new onco doc thursday morning, she is nice. Found out that YEP, this cancer is fiesty, on the move, and got a referral to radiation onco doc.

So this a.m. they called me, and i got appointment an hour later.

I like this dude. I told him there was zero reason to be delicate or rely on duckbilled platitudes with me. So he was absolutely blunt about what radiation post surgery will entail.

And, he does believe it is in the lymph nodes. But not in the bone (yet).

Meanwhile, the 2 nurse navigators are seeing about a backup referral to Huntsman in Salt Lake if something crazy happens. Frankly i most definitely do not want a new surgeon at this stage.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, a friend sent prayers and a nice super soft oversized hoodie out of the blue.

And the nurse navigator cut some red tape and got me a dental appointment about the sudden and very ridiculous tooth infection. So i got antibiotics for that at least. Nothing like having a random tooth infection show up. Both me and my radiationonco are really side eying this, because literally in less than three weeks the part ofmy lower gum that still has teeth is getting way way sketchy.

The social worker lady is meeting with me about options for getting my hair chopped and made into a wig (just in case, ya know. They are now making noises about chemo/immunotherapy along with radiation depending on what my surgeon finds).

In the middke of all this madness we had company. And the mouth is disintegrating fast enough it will be puree and liquid time again shortly.

Thank god i have lots of magic mouthwash.

27F. Found a tumour about in July that grew from a tiny mosquito bite sized growth to a large 2.5cm growth near my toe webs within 1 month.

Along the way, initially thought was a cyst, debunked as a nerve tumour. Then, initially thought as schwannoma based on stats and probability.. went for surgery and turns out to be malignant tumour. Today, preliminary result was small blue round cell tumour but still ongoing tests at the pathology side. Said to be aggressive.

today they also tell me they got to remove my toes (>1) for R0 excision. Then they can’t stitch it up so they need to replace the area with my meat from my thigh. Long surgery and long recovery. Toes gonna be gone, foot gonna look like shrek swollen ugly feet. My thigh gonna have a big ass scar - no more short dresses, no more heels cus how to balance? No more open toe shoes or sandals.

After that, there’s still risk of recurrence, and also maybe require chemo means no hair.

Job on the line, money depleting, everyone is sad and frustrated over the news. Money will become an issue sooner or later.

Just feel so sad and defeated, thinking maybe i should just forgo the surgery and live my life to the fullest till the cancer consumes me. Just live like all these news never been heard and yolo?

tomorrow is the PETCT scan to check whether it has spread anywhere else. but idk if it will make any difference cus my toes and foot gonna be wrecked anyway. and i’m gonna die anyway.

—— Edit: I wrote this post on the night I first received the news. I was sad, shocked, and probably in denial. But when I woke up this morning to see so many heartfelt comments from strangers, I was so so surprised from the support and love i got. Some even slapped me back to reality (e.g. death by cancer is painful / on grand scheme of things it’s just a foot). I just want to thank all of you for your perspectives and support. Whenever my mind drifts to giving up, I find myself going back to read all your comments :’) Thank you.

I am currently 120 days post stem cell transplant. I have absolutely no appetite. When I try to force myself to eat I end up feeling ill. I’ve lost about 20 lbs in the last month. At this point I’m not sure what to do? My oncologist believes that it’s all mental. I simply do not agree as I literally have no appetite even though I want to eat. Has anyone else experienced this?

Today sucked, this week sucked, life generally sucks. I never thought life would look like this and neither did any of you. Just a note to say I’m proud of you for getting through the week and overcoming whatever challenges you had. You’re not alone. 🤍

Stage 4 nsclc w brain mets, diagnosed a few weeks ago, the thing i have learned so far is that the worst impact for me is teh loss of energy. I can live with pain, i can live with shortness of breath but days were i can barely get out of bed and prepare some food are the worst.

Life without energy is no life.

So what are your life hacks to maximize energy?

I (25m) was just today diagnosed with testicular cancer. I’m still waiting for my test results to get back, but I understand that testicular cancer generally has a pretty good prognosis. That said, death is a possibility, and it’s hitting my girlfriend very hard. Anyone have any advice for helping her get through this?

Anyone else thankful but also get annoyed when people call you a fighter or this cancer a fight or that you are so brave? I don’t think I am any of those things. I am doing what I need to do to get better. It doesn’t feel like anything I’m really doing is “fighting” or “brave” or even changing the situation aside from making decisions. It feels like these steps I take either work or they don’t but not through much conscious fault of my own. To me it just feels like this shitty thing to hopefully get through.