I know you meant well. I know that you need to describe yourself as a warrior and that the battle imagery resonates with you. I know you needed to talk to someone about it today. But when you approached me and asked if I was going through something medical because I’m gaunt and wearing a beanie, I tried to say ‘yes, but I don’t like discussing it with strangers in public,’ you cut me off. I know you just needed to say something to someone but please don’t pretend it was about me.

You were talking at me. I’m not a fucking warrior. I’m never going to win this battle. I haven’t been getting the greatest results from treatment and I really didn’t want to be stopped with a crowd around for what you needed today. If you had listened to me you would have heard it. I could have spoken my mind and told you to mind your business, but then I’d have even more attention. And I’m kind to oblivious people in public. All I wanted to do was get some drinkable yogurts because that’s about all I can keep down these days. This trip was the first time I left the house in a week for something other than a medical appointment. It felt so much like men telling women to smile because they’re prettier when they do. I’m glad for your results but please please please don’t pretend this was about me in any sense.

Edit: thank you to all that have expressed some empathy and solidarity, and for making this a safe place to discuss our own experiences in our own way. I hope we can all find the kind of support we need.

NEW TITLE: I knew people left when you get sick but damn first day of pills? (Can't leave out our strong men)

First day getting my chemo pill from my doc and my partner of 5 years made a huge argument out of nothing last night, made it about him, and used it as an excuse to break up the night before our 10 am appt. Here's to healing I guess.

I got a Check up scan in a few Hours and i‘m nervous as always. I could’nt sleep and looked at some pictures i made. I wish everyone of you who fights all the best in the world. Stay strong ❤️ you can win this fight! Fuck Cancer

After 18 months of chemo, surgeries and setbacks, I’ve been given 3 to 6 months to live without further treatment. The treatment I’ve been offered is a milder version of chemo that could give me an extra 6 months, but of course it comes with side effects and risks of complications. I’m tired physically and emotionally and I think I’ve just had enough.

I’m not asking for advice, just sharing what is a very personal decision that some people have to make if things don’t work out.

Yesterday I went for my follow up after finishing my chemo in December. I have been very tired and lots of pains in various areas around my gut - belly button and below. I put it down to pulled muscles as I am so tired, getting out of the chair is a big effort. At my oncology follow up I was told that my small intestine surgery and mop-up chemo had failed. There is nothing else that can be done - no further surgery. At best more, different, chemotherapy to slow the spread : all those pains must be more cancer. I couldn't determine how much time I have left.

I asked directly "6 months" and oncologist said maybe.

I drove back from the hospital to deliver the devastating news to my frail elderly parents. Then I had to come home and tell my partner and son. This has crushed me. I was sent home with a bottle of morphine for pain, but it makes me feel sick. I haven't taken much. I am just in a state. Sleeping, crying or crying myself to sleep. I have destroyed the happiness of those I love nearest and dearest. It hurts so much thinking of my devastated parents, and to look at the sadness in my son and partner.

I have no energy or will to try and give people final happy memories. I am so distraught 😞

UPDATE: Thank you kind people of Reddit. I am bowled over by the outpouring of love and support and this community. After the abject devastation of Monday, today I feel more plateaued and clear, and I believe it's this support that has helped me get through the last couple of days. A sincere thank you.

To answer some questions, I had cancer in my small intestine removed in April 2024, I then did XELOX chemotherapy from July 2024 for about six months, until mid-December. I had my scan and follow up January 2025. The cancer is now in the peritoneum, and with the pain I am feeling, it has spread a lot all around my belly.

That's it. That's the entire post. This is the single most annoying thing I hear about cancer. It's up there with "Ok but have you tried curing your cancer with this secret remedy big pharma is hiding away from you?" (In case anyone wanted a laugh, someone just recommended I try a mix of Slivovitz and onions to cure my leukemia)

I have early-onset colon cancer. Someone I follow on Instagram is the widow of a man who died of early-onset colon cancer in his 30s. One thing she mentions about him fondly is that “he never complained.” I see this mentioned in other places in regards to living or dead cancer patients - praise for the fact that they never complained.

I just started chemo. I am having annoying side effects and I feel like shit and I am resentful that I have cancer. I DEFINITELY complain to my family. I complain, I’m bitter, I get upset. I’m so angry about all of this.

Why is it seen as a virtue that someone with a life-threatening painful illness never complained?

Hello! My dad is currently experiencing an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer which has spread from prostate cancer and has already tried rounds of chemo and another type of experimental treatment through medication recommended by his doctors. He is currently doing radiation treatment which has unfortunately been causing him a lot of negative side effects. He has recently been looking into an experimental treatment with a doctor whose name is Dr. William Makis he is a “doctor” from Canada who is charging out of pocket prices for consultations and after one consultation is already attempting to give him 14 various scripts. My dad does not have a lot of money and the insurance will not cover the medication he is writing for him. He is generally susceptible to a lot of fake information and he believes he has done his own research but I’m nervous that this is a scam and that “turbo cancer” which this doctor’s specialty in is not a real form of treatment. Any help or recommendations will be appreciated!

Chemo isnt working. Its spreading, my only good option is surgery, that i cant afford even with funding. Its insane to me, i went into this with the understanding i had a very treatable kind of cancer. Now im so sick i can hardly move. And im looking into palliative care at 28, with three children. Ive never been so devistated.

EDIT: I contacted my case worker. From the sounds of it it should be a relatively easy fix. Thank you all for giving me advice and helping give me different avenues for support. I cant express how truly grateful i am.

46yr old Female Stage 4 Bone only breast cancer patient here. They dont know how long Ive got. They say " everyone is different". I was diagnosed 7mths ago. Ive been sitting in darkness in my head this whole time. I cant pick myself up. My sweet daughters are doing all they can for me.

Saying upfront, I have no interest in discussing politics, celebrities or the royal family dynamics here. My focus is on the stigmatization of cancer types, or perhaps all types of cancer…although it’s obvious to me certain diagnoses unfortunately get shamed or blame-washed more than others.

I felt shame wash over me when I was watching the news on how brave Kate Middleton is for revealing her cancer diagnosis. My shame came when I heard she is choosing to keep the details private. For some strange reason, it instantly conjured up an image in my mind of pregnant tv news reporters who had to hide their pregnancy to keep their jobs, not too long ago in our history.

Part of me wishes I had denied all along this information to the countless friends and strangers who’ve asked “what kind of cancer do you have?” Another strong part of me believes I have nothing to feel ashamed of and I won’t stigmatize my “self” by hiding that part of me.

I was shocked when diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer as I had not thought I was ill went for yearly health check up with doctor blood tests etc. ( I am 74 and thought I was in fairly reasonable health ) blood tests threw up some iffy results , and it all went from there.

Stage 3 lung cancer, mass on Kidney, Adrenal Gland, Lymph Nodes Etc. Etc.

currently going through treatment

But mostly just shocked that it all started with a blood test

Nobody around me really cares about what I’m going through because 90% of the time I look like the first pic. I keep my hair and nails done and try to look like my old self. Regardless the times where I’m too sick to give a fuck I look like the second pic and even then people around me offer little help. It’s been a year this month that I’ve been battling cancer and I relapsed, and have seen little success even though I’m stage two and have “the good cancer”. I’ve done abvd and raised my toddler on my own for a year now and it tore me apart getting no rest during this battle. I’m now preparing to do immunotherapy and am praying it ends this bullshit. I just got my cells collected on the 6th, did chemo on the 9th(the second pic) and I did it all alone. No family even cared to come to the hospital and getting my line placed was so traumatic.

I had to lie to my doctors about having a care taker for after the immunotherapy when I know that nobody in my family is willing to take off work for two weeks to help me. Mentally I’m just not at a good space. I’ve spoken to social workers and was told there’s nothing they can do. I hate it here truly I do. I’m just doing my best to survive really, but with a “support system” like mine I need no enemies.

Update 9/02 4:48pm - wow, my hospital room feels so incredibly lonely sometimes but with this amazing community all supporting eachother it makes all the difference. Thank you so much for all the love, I’m so incredibly grateful for all of you.

I (24f) have known with this relapse that my cancer wasn’t curable and that we were slowly getting into scary territory. But things have progressed so much in the last few weeks that my oncologist and team had the convo with me yesterday basically explaining that there’s so much disease growing so fast that chemo (if it does work) isn’t likely to help before the cancer kills me.

I’m sad :( I was hoping for more time as we all do. I’ve had to have the difficult convo with my parents and friends. Don’t even get me started on how hard this is with my partner of over six years.

I so badly want to stay, this all feels so unfair.

I get to go home on Monday which is a relief and they’ll be delivering me my oxygen tank so it’s there if I need it. I know I’ll be comfortable and I’m going to still keep doing my chemo if I get the chance but man I’m just so lost rn.

Thanks for letting me vent and if you read this. Sending so much love to everyone on this subreddit.

Thanks to a stranger in Germany, I am alive! I am 99% donor cells- My blood, my immune system .. all changed. My body is still healing & we’re waiting for that 1% of my OG cells to disappear completely. Until then it’s a waiting game, but I’m here. I’m alive. I’m grateful.

The whole process still blows my mind, so I thought I’d share a little bit, maybe it can help someone else or it just makes you say “whoa” like I did.

Before my transplant, I was O+. Now I’m B+. Why? Because my blood and immune system are now being made by my donors stem cells, someone all the way from Germany.

Here’s how it works: after high dose chemo and full body radiation to wipe out my bone marrow, I received a transfusion of my donor’s stem cells. Those little cells traveled through my bloodstream, found their new “home” in my bone marrow, and got to work. They basically set up shop and started producing brand new blood cells- red, white & platelets- all using my donors DNA and blood type.

Sooo now my blood and immune system are made from my donor’s stem cells .. BUT .. the rest of my body, like my skin, hair, and organs still has the OG DNA.

It’s called chimerism, like being a mix of two people in one body. If someone tested my blood today, it wouldn’t match the DNA I was born with. How wild is that?

Right now, I’m sitting at 99% donor cells. That 1%? Those are a few tiny, sneaky remnants of my own cells that are still hanging out somewhere in my body. My doctors hope those will eventually disappear completely but until then, we wait and keep retesting. Because here’s the thing, those leftover cells are my OG cells- the ones that mutated and caused the leukemia in the first place. If they start growing again, the cancer could come back. It’s like a quiet standoff inside my body. So we watch. We hope. We pray. And we trust God & modern medicine.

I might look the same on the outside (once my hair grows back more lol) part of someone else is working inside me to keep me alive. A stranger from across the world gave me a second chance at life. Science is wilddddd 🧬🎗️🩸

Photos: 1: Me during one of my in patient treatment stays at UPenn before my transplant 🎗️

1. My new blood - first time I had to get a transfusion with my new blood 🩸🅱️

2. The stem cells right from Germany - flew 4,000 + miles to me… safe and sound in dry ice 🧊🧬

I rang the bell today!! Final cancer treatment finished. From Stage 4 to NED in 2 years is shocking. We're incredibly happy, but it's all so surreal still. You guys got this.

It’s official! NED (no evidence of disease)! Diagnosed stage 4 colon cancer March ‘24. I qualified for immunotherapy as it was stage 4 with high micro-satellite instability (3-5% of colon cancers). My lymph nodes lit up All OVER like a Christmas tree on the PET scan. Before the cancer dna was determined, doc said it was incurable & I would most likely not make it > 6-12 months. It was too far progressed for any chemo, surgery or radiation by the time I discovered it. Thankfully it hadn’t found its way into my lungs, liver or anything else. I walked out of that first visit with a prescription for a big bottle of Vicodin! That spoke volumes. I’m an RN, but it didn’t take that degree to drive home my prognosis, or minimally what the doc thought.

Throughout the course of treatment, I ended up with a partial colectomy. I was 3mm away from a complete colon blockage. During my colonoscopy, Doc couldn’t advance the colonoscopy camera past the originating tumor mass & scar tissue area 7 months into treatment . I had started with a 7 cm tumor on my ascending colon & it had reduced to 5cm by that time. So, out with 25-30% of my colon; ascending colon. They found new cancer growth on a lymph node & on the ascending colon piece & removed that as well. Thankfully recovery went well. Walking every day was key.

So after 9 months of immunotherapy with ipi/ nevo, cancer is GONE!!!! Definitely not out of the woods completely & will have this looming over my every head as long as I breathe, but I’ve already made it past the original diagnosis & I’m very grateful for that. I’m happy to answer any questions. This is a horrid battle we’re all facing & if I can help lighten anyone’s load I’m there. For anyone in the US with a stage 4 diagnosis, make sure you apply for SS Disability right away. They fast track the application and $$$ will be coming your way in 4-6 weeks, retroactive from the diagnosis date (typically). Plus the handicap parking pass was wonderful when going to Costco!

Initially, I didn’t want to spread my cancer diagnosis to friends/ family/ coworkers. They’d find out either after I beat it, or close to my funeral service. I’m glad I waved that off early on as one of the most amazing things with cancer is all the love & prayers that were directed my way. Whether or not one believes in prayer, I think the positive energy is so helpful and went far to help boost up my mental spirits. I was blown away seeing so many people cared about me. Just, wow! Anyways, sorry we’re in this battle of a lifetime. Thankful for good medicine & platforms like this that bring us together. I wish y’all the very best 🙏

This post is just one massive rant but I need to get this off my chest

I'm so scared to die. I don't want to go. There are so many things I still wanted to do. I was already starting to plan new things I could do after I finished treatment. I was exited for my hair to grow back. I was okay with it falling out because of the hope that it would grow back. But it won't have the chance to.

I try to act unbothered in front of my family because I know how much they're struggling themselves. My dad's mom is already getting euthanasia in two weeks, and then my dad also has to lose his daughter. It's so so so awful and unfair.

I don't want my parents to have to bury their own child. I love my parents so much and I know they've been in so much pain because of my diagnosis even if they don't show it to me very often.

I just scroll tiktok mindlessly all day because I know that the moment I give my brain a break to think I'm going to break down completely. I'm so scared.

I haven't had my cat for more than a year. I was going to take him with me when I would start living on my own. He's just a baby, and he probably won't remember me anymore very soon after I pass. It feels like a stupid thing to be upset about, but I love that cat endlessly, he's been a light during my treatments.

I've been acting cold towards my parents because I know when I have any kind of emotional conversation I'm just going to start crying and I don't know if I'll be able to stop.

I've barely talked to my sister since I was told I'm not getting better. Neither of us know how to act around each other. We've always understood each other so easily, but now we don't talk. I hate it.

I barely even got a chance to celebrate "beating" cancer. It came back almost instantly. I never got to be not sick since my diagnosis. I'm angry. I'm so fucking sad. I just wanted to at least get a chance to try to start living again. I don't want to die. I would do anything to keep living. I'm so fucking scared.

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with cancer at 48. Like many of you, I went through the whirlwind—scans, treatments, side effects, uncertainty, hope, and heartbreak. I’m now 53 and officially terminal. There’s no medicine left to try. And yet… here I am. Still living. Still loving. Still me.

I recently traveled from Spokane , Washington to Marysville, Washington to watch my granddaughter graduate. It is amazing to celebrate monumental moments in her life.

Some days are hard. Pain, fatigue, fear—they don’t just go away. But I’ve learned to hold joy and sorrow in the same hand. I laugh. I cry. I rest. I fight. I savor the good and honor the bad.

To anyone newly diagnosed or struggling today: please talk to the people you love. Let them in. Let them carry some of the weight. And don’t forget—you are more than this diagnosis.

Thanks for being a place where we can be honest, broken, strong, scared, and human—all at once. You’re not alone, and neither am I.

💛 —Sandy

Hi all. A brief intro…51 yo female diagnosed with oral cavity cancer in 2004 - non smoker, non HPV - 22 surgeries, partial glossectomy, missing lower teeth due to cancer surrounding the tissue and thus had to be removed. Talk with a noticeable lisp and mainly existing on a liquid diet Currently undergoing immunotherapy (Keytruda)

I am struggling lately more so than I ever have during my 20+ year journey with this horrific disease. I used to lie to myself that I was not chronically ill. I maintained my positivity until I was no longer able. My only child left for college last fall and it’s fair to say the wheels have fallen off. I kept it together for 18 years so my daughter wouldn’t be scared.

The Keytruda has made me far sicker than the cancer ever did. In addition to playing side effect roulette each day when I wake up I cannot stop crying. I am angry at the cancer and I hate how small my world has become (basically shuttling between my house and treatment). I think my husband stays because he feels badly for me. We once had a great love that has settled (I think in large part to my illness) into a roommate situation. I feel like I am just waiting to die and as stated the tears won’t stop. I have the most amazing friends yet I am still so lonely. I feel as though not one person in my orbit truly understands what I am going through. I feel so alone and so scared.

I was diagnosed with Stage 3c Colorectal cancer earlier this year. I'm in the weeds of treatment right now. An old family friend stopped by to chat, and expressed sincere confusion over my situation. She said, "You don't drink or smoke, you exercise and eat well... Why you?"

I almost said, "Well, when two cancer cells love each other very much..."

But she was really distressed, so what I actually said was, "It's just bad luck. Every day our cells are dividing and replicating themselves. Sometimes there's errors. Usually, our immune system catches them and fixes things. But, this time, something got missed. A cancer cell slipped past undetected and started making copies of itself. That's all it is."

It occurred to me after that maybe this is something that other people might find helpful?

Yes, some things (like heredity or environmental factors or lifestyle choices) can increase our odds of developing cancer. But, ultimately it all just comes down to a roll of the cosmic dice.

You might be rolling a six sided die and never once land on one. Or you could be rolling a hundred sided die and still land on one repeatedly. (My real life gaming dice have skulls for the number one - very apt!)

Cancer is not a punishment for anything. You don't have cancer because of anything you did or didn't do. You don't deserve to have it. Cancer is both deeply personal and also not personal at all.

Sometimes, shit happens.

I'm not officially cancer free yet, they don't check me for another two months. However, some people in my life are pressuring me to return to work. My doctors and therapist all think I shouldn't because they said cancer changes people and opens their eyes to how much more important life is than working a typical job.

I just don't see how I can care about my job after having cancer. I feel like going back to working for someone else is admitting defeat. It feels like it would be me saying the doctors saved my life for nothing. I got a second chance at life and it seems stupid to waste it working. I can't stop crying because I don't know what to do.

Ok. Jan 2024 was diagnosed colorectal cancer stage 3b. Surgery and an ostomy. First rounds of chemo I grew back a tumor same space. Another surgery and then a round of chemo and daily radiation. Went into remission Dec 2024 and was much relieved.

March my blood markers started reacting again and after a cr scan and a pet it was discovered it had metastasized to my liver (three spots) and abdominal wall. All are too small for biopsy so that’s good.

They have me setup to do FOLFIRI and I am seeking second opinions at MD Anderson and perhaps some clinical trials after dna testing.

They aren’t giving me a time line. But it’s pretty certain I’ll be on chemo for the rest of my life. However long that is.

I don’t know how I’m going to deal with a take home pump every other week for …well forever. And it’s going to impact my life. I’m used to travel. Conventions. Attending events with hundreds of people. When it had a time line goal I could work it in my head. Now it’s forever.

I’ve been talking with my therapist and my psych. It’s fresh. But how do others handle this and not let it impact their lives in a way that makes it not worthwhile?

I remember my oncologist sat me there and said "We are going to try and cure you". Figured that meant what it meant, and then decided to name my tumor Herb so i could say my chemo was Herbicide because at least i can have a sense of humor about it.

I (45M) was diagnosed January’24 with stage 4 stomach cancer. At my first oncology appointment, doc said I had 3-6 months left of normal life and then maybe another 6 months of hospice. I ended up having a complete response to chemo and immunotherapy, and just had a curative surgery. All pathology came back negative for malignancy. When I was first diagnosed I thought I would die. Seeing posts on here from others who had survived their stage 4 diagnosis gave me tons of hope and strength to carry on. If you’re a stage 4 survivor, please consider sharing your story, it may help someone who was once in our position and give them hope as it did for me. Of course modern medicine played its role, but Reddit saved me mentally and provided tons of support. Thank you all so very much 🙏🏼❤️